Teaching
by perfectsmuttyvampire
Summary: A year after the Cullens moved to Forks, Bella Swan, a vegetarian vampire, moves into the area. With gifts beyond imagination, she terrifies and entrances Jasper-who struggles bitterly with his own self-control. When he loses control, she takes it...
1. Prologue

**_TITLE: Teaching_**

**_SUMMRY: A year after the Cullen vampires moved to Forks, Bella Swan, a vegetarian vampire like them, moves into the area. With gifts beyond imagination, she both terrifies and entrances Jasper - who struggles viciously with his own self-control. When he loses control, Bella takes some control of her own…_**

**_WARNING: Graphic death scene, and lemons. Lots of them. The good kind!_**

**_A/N: I know. Another long story. Couldn't help it, the bunny bothered me. As always, I'll write the first chapter, and you guys review, and if feedback is good, I will continue._**

**_Anyway, here's the basic deal: Jasper is the single Cullen, not Edward, who is with Alice. Other pairings remain the same. The Cullen's are vampires, and so is Bella. Bella has never met the Cullen's before. She also has a variety of gifts, which will be revealed through the course of the story. All other gifts and characters remain the same._**

APOV

Something was coming.

"Alice? Aly?" Edward's voice filtered through the haze in my head. I blink slowly and look up at him. He's frowning, worry in his eyes. The others have stopped too, looking back at us. We're hunting, the whole family. And then, out of nowhere - the vision. "Alice, I didn't catch it all," Edward says, looking worried. "Who was that?"

"One of you two gonna tell us what gives?" Emmett demands playfully. "We're not all super-geniuses."

"I saw a vampire." My eyes dart towards Carlisle. "She's coming here. She'll move in tomorrow."

"Move in? Carlisle asks. "How can that be?"

"She's like us. Her eyes are very yellow in my vision. She is one of us. She is alone."

"Why would you have seen her?"

"Because she will mean something to us." I frown. "I don't know what exactly. But she will be a friend." Then I smile as another vision flits through my head. "We'll meet her tomorrow at school."

Nobody talked about anything else all night. We all wanted to know who she was, what she'd be to us.

"All I got from the vision was that she'd be important to us. I don't know how." I'd left them to it after that. Edward had come up after me and stroked my hair.

"Sorry, Alice. We're just - excited, I guess. It's not every day we meet someone like us, and it certainly isn't normal to have someone like us - in every sense - move into the same town." I sigh and rest my head on his shoulder, he loops his arms around my waist.

"It's OK, Edward. But this sense I have - that she'll be important - I'd have expected to get more than that. And she was…blurry almost. Like she was an out of focus picture. It was weird. Edward, it was almost like she didn't want to be seen - by anyone. Like she was blocking."

"Tomorrow. Tomorrow we'll know." He put his faith in our abilities, and Jasper's. I knew that.

And I knew we relied on our powers far too much for things that are not flawless.

Jasper was worried, I could practically feel it. Another day of agonizing pain. I squeeze his hand gently. There was a time I thought Jasper and I were mates, destined. But I know now that he was just the person I was meant to be with to find Edward. And he may as well be my brother by blood. I love him with everything I have in me to love him with. I hate seeing him alone. He certainly could do with meeting someone, preferably this side of the next century. He's not meant to be alone. Some vampires are, some vampires are content to wander alone. But Jasper isn't. Jasper is meant to have someone with him.

He stops breathing when we get into the canteen. Human food, human blood. This bit was always the hardest bit for him. We were all sniffing today though. Searching for her scent, this new vampire. She was already sitting down. Our table, by the window, watching the rain. Edward is frowning.

"I can't get a read on her. She's blocking, I expect. Which is probably why you couldn't see everything about her."

"That's serious power."

"My name is Isabella." She says, face still turned away. We're across the canteen from her, but we hear her as if she was standing next to us.

She got up and left. And we followed her, because we had to. She was waiting on the edges of the forest. Every bit as beautiful as Rosalie, her dark hair framed her pale face. Her eyes were almost gold, indicating a recent hunt.

"A shield, then," Edward states. "A very powerful shield, if you can stop Alice from seeing you in visions, and stop me reading you."

"Don't get too upset, Edward. Aro got quite irritated when I saw him, and he couldn't see into my head. Alice, I apologize for blocking you out, too. It's purely defensive, I'm afraid. I forget about it."

"You can block out someone like Alice, and you _forget_ you have that power?" Edward demands. He looks wary. Hell, so am I. This is terrifying. Nobody, _nobody_ should have that much power.

"What the hell did Aro say to you?"

"Hmmm? Oh, he doesn't know about my powers. He thinks I'm just a shield." She smiles, and there's something oddly predatory about it. "I'm not actually stupid enough to tell him everything. He tried to persuade me to join him - but I don't agree with his diet."

"Introductions." Jasper cuts across our conversation. "Introductions. I'm Jasper. That's Rose and Emmett. And -"

"I know. I know who you are. I know who you all are, and that includes Carlisle and Esme. And I don't like repeating myself. I'll tell you my story - it's only fair, seeing as I know yours - but I'll tell it to you all."

At least she's honest. She drops her shield long enough for Edward to be convinced she told him nothing but the truth.

"My name is Isabella, Isabella Swan. I was born - originally, at least - in Houston, Texas in 1841. I got caught up in the Civil War and fled to New York. I was twenty one in 1862, and that was the year I was turned. I met a very, very handsome man." Her mouth twists. "Oh, he was very handsome. His name was John, I think - I don't remember. It may have been James, or possibly Jack. I'm more inclined that it was James. He changed me the same day. When I woke up, he was gone. Vanished, left. I've never seen him again, although lord above knows, I've looked. I spent fifty very long, boring years looking. How depressing of me. I couldn't remember very well what he looked like. In the end I went back to Texas, but not to Houston. I wound up in Galveston, where I uncovered a mystery. Fifty years before, Major Jasper Whitlock vanished off the face of the Earth. He'd been evacuating the city, then vanished on his way back to help more get away. I had a new mission, a new purpose. The height of the vampire wars - I put two and two together and got seven at least. I even found Maria, for goodness sake." Jasper's eyes are burning.

"Why the hell were you coming after me?"

"I didn't want to kill you, if that's what you're worried about. I don't now. We used to live next door to each other in Houston. Until we were ten, then I moved away, to the other side of the city. We used to make mud-pies together." Her lips twitch. "I didn't remember you either. But the name was doing deja-vu in my head, and I didn't like not knowing. So I got on with it, and tried to find you. Failed, obviously, but then I went to see Aro."

"What did Aro say about your powers?" Carlisle queries.

"Aro knows nothing about my powers. He thinks I am just a shield. I quite like my freedom, and I did not like his way of life. He tried persuading me to join him. He said talents must not be wasted." Her mouth twitches again. "Tosser. And then I got wind - quite by chance - of the Cullen family. That intrigued me. I questioned Felix - with persuasion thrown in, coaxed what information I wanted from him. He was remarkably helpful, all things considered. He told me who you were, what you were. And having be alone for…err…147 years, I thought I'd drop by and see if it was true." The eerily golden eyes sweep us all. "And, I've got to say it, Carlisle, Aro wasn't exaggerating. This family is _remarkable_. All of you bonded, except Jasper, and three of you with significant power." Her lips twitch. "You know, when I figured it out, Jay, I wasn't remotely surprised _you_ could manipulate emotions. You always were persuasive."

"Bells, shut up." Her eyes light up. And she smiles for the first time - a full, proper, glowing smile. "You went along with it all."

"That's it. That's what you used to call me, especially when you wanted something. Anyway, we'll wander down the memories later. Carlisle, Esme - I need a favour. I don't expect you for a minute to say yes -"

"Yes. Move in. Stay with us. And Bella, I must ask - and forgive the personal questions - but I have to ask you something."

"Carlisle, for granting me that, I'll answer you anything."

"If you woke up alone, who taught you control? Who taught you to resist the bloodlust?"

"I taught me. I find, to be perfectly honest, the idea of snacking on humans repulsive. I never even thought about it."

"You've never killed -"

"No. Not once. My life was taken - I wouldn't do that to another human. I imagine the people they left behind would be devastated. I have self-control beyond anything Aro has ever seen - and he told me you were the sole exception. I rather think he finds the idea of us teaming up together a little strange, to say the least."

"What else do you have?"

"I can't tell you that, Edward, and I'm truly sorry I cannot. I ought tell you, after you've been so kind to me, but I cannot, not yet at least. I've never told anyone the real extent of my power. I don't even _know_ the full extent of my power. I believe the man who changed me may know - but I am no longer sure whether he is alive or dead. It's why I searched for him, why I go on searching, even now, in my way. Those first few years -" She shudders, and Jasper gets up and touches her arm lightly. "Thanks, Jay. Those first few years were - well, I was terrified. That was my challenge - not bloodlust, but controlling my power. I was terrified, angry, worried, and I wanted answers, and I still do. But the man who made me left, and I don't know why. I believe that I may have killed him during my transformation. I woke with venom that was not my own on my clothes, on my hands and face. I either killed him, or I injured him. Because I've never been able to find him and nobody I've asked seems to know who I'm talking about, I believe I either killed him, drove him into hiding, or that he lied to me, and never told me his real name. I don't suppose -"

"I know a_ James_. You said that might be his name? And he had a scar, a long one. It ran the length of his face, and I assume it covered much of his torso. Just one line. But I haven't seen him since I was two years old - vampire-wise, I mean." Emmett answers her, and our heads snap round.

"You never told me that," Rose whispers.

"Yeah, well, it isn't a period of my existence I particularly _like_ to talk about." But Bella is rigid in her chair, staring very hard at Emmett.

"Emmett, tell me, what did he look like? What colour were his eyes?"

"Well, they were red. Well, reddish-orange. Much like mine. And he was blond, I think. Looked young. He sort of made me come back. Convinced me the guys here wouldn't be mad at me." Bella gets up and leaves the house so fast we barely see her. Jasper looks after her, thoughtful expression firmly in place. He gets up and he goes after her.

Silence reigns for a while.

"Carlisle, do you know her?"

"I've heard of her. Caius wrote some months ago. Told me she existed, and several of the nomads have been talking." He looks disturbed. "She's rumoured to be extraordinarily powerful, although nobody seems to know what these powers _are."_

"Hands up who wants to know why she calls him Jay," Emmett murmurs. We laugh, and the tension leaves, although I wouldn't doubt she was still on everyone's mind. So much was left unanswered, but we knew already that she'd tell us when she was ready to tell us and not before.

_**A/N: Well, here it is, the first chapter. I know it seems like I've rushed into things, but this story is going to be the longest I've ever written, definitely longer than On A Sparrows Wings, Target Protection and I Don't Ask You To Stay. I've told you one per cent of Bella's story, so don't worry - Bella's been through A LOT and it's going to take a long time before she opens up to anyone. **_

_**Ok, I nicknamed Jasper, Jay because I'm tired of calling him Jazz. I like the fact that they used to be kids together. And I need reviewers help!! In my stories, Jasper always calls Bella, Bells. I want a new nickname for her, something cute but snappy, something edgy but sweet. It doesn't have to be related to Isabella at all, it can be any nickname. **_

_**PLEASE REVIEW!!! I know I'm a dreadfully bad person starting ANOTHER story, but I do honestly love your feedback! And they make Jasper all the more sexy ;) **_


	2. Diamond Glitters

**_A/N: Italian Jasper ;). Bella's nickname won't come out for a few chapters yet, so you still have time to get your suggestions in (hint, hint) and the translations from the Italian are at the bottom._**

**_Diamond Glitters_**

JPOV

When I followed her, I didn't know exactly what I was going to say to her. I hadn't seen her since we were both ten and back then it had all been about winding each other up and getting into trouble as much as possible. I was scared of her now, something deep inside me telling me that she was all wrong. All that power. I could practically sense it. I could also sense her agitation. She was twisting her fingers together, sitting on a rock on the banks of a river. The sunlight sparkled off her, the clouds lifting for a change.

"_Belle_," I whispered, without knowing it.

"What was that one, Jay?"

"Nothing," I mutter, knowing she heard it, and knowing she understood it. I sit down beside her.

"When did you find the Cullen's?" I get that the subject of her past has been firmly closed for now. If she sticks around long enough, maybe she will let me in. I like the thought of her sticking around.

"1930. I'd left Maria - been gone ten years. I was wandering. No real plan, no real destination. I walked into a diner in Philadelphia, and Alice was sitting there waiting. We came to the Cullen's and they were kind enough to adopt us both. Alice bonded with Edward - and I don't mind telling you that that was a hideous ten years of mush. Rose was already with them, and Emmett joined around ten years later. I've struggled with self-control." She knows what I mean, and she wordlessly strokes my arm gently.

"I can't empathise there, Jay," she says, honestly.

"They've been so good about it. They've moved whenever they've had to, without complaint, without bitching, either behind my back or to my face. I owe them one hell of a lot, Bella."

"Jasper, how many times have you lost control?"

"Seven, since I met the Cullen's. Seven people, seven people dead because I can't handle it." She either senses my anger or she instinctively knew it was coming. But either way she places her hands on either side of my head and suddenly I'm calm. "What -"

"Yeah, I can do it too. But only to vampires, and I have to be touching them. And I can only calm people down." She sighs dramatically. "Not one of my best powers."

"Tell me about James, Bella."

"I don't remember that much about it. I was half scared when Emmett told me he'd seen him. Half scared, half happy. At least I didn't kill him. Can we not discuss this?"

"What do you want to talk about?"

"Mud pies."

And we talk, talk for hours, sitting under the willow on the bank.

"I remember when you used to shake your head and stick your tongue out when you didn't want to do something. And then I'd kiss you on the cheek and beg you, and you'd roll your eyes like you were twenty instead of ten and then come with me." She giggles. "And you'd do that giggle - that one right there - when you knew it was all going to go wrong."

"It normally did." She flashes me the same dimpled smile she'd give me whenever I got her into trouble, just to let me know she forgave me, and we'd do the same thing all over again the next day. I'd do anything to provoke her smile, all those years ago. "And we'd get yelled at, and then we'd sneak off again. You remember that time we climbed that tree and I ripped my dress and you cut the skirt off with your knife so it was shorter and I could climb better?"

"Oh, I do indeed. You were blushing! But you didn't go home. You climbed right to the top of that tree with me, and we sat up there all day."

"And my nurse smacked you round the head when you brought me home, shook her head because you were utterly unrepentant and dragged me off, muttering that I'd have to marry you now. I kept hold of that dress for years."

"It wasn't the first dress I ruined. Do you remember the day I took you fishing at the stream?"

"That was the day I came home clean and in one piece."

"That was the day you kissed me." I recognize the expression on her face - if she could, she'd be blushing. Like her smile, I'd try and provoke it as often as possible.

"We were ten!"

"I was ecstatic. I told all my friends."

"You didn't have any friends, Jay," she smirks. "You hung around with me because nobody else would have you!" I push her off the rock. She leaps up and narrows her eyes at me.

"Oh, Jay, you are so going to get it now." She leaps at me, tackling me off the rock in a blur of speed. She goes right for my ribs. What the hell?! No fair am I the undead and I'm still ticklish! I seize her wrist and flip us so she's underneath me, pinning her to the floor. She flips us right back, kneeling on my wrists and tickling me mercilessly.

"Surrender?" she asks, her eyes dancing with mirth.

"Yes, yes, alright!" She rolls off me and lies on her back, staring at the sky. The clouds have closed in, and the thunder rumbles. I prop myself up on one elbow and watch her. "You know, for someone who claims to be over one hundred and fifty years old, you still act like a teenager."

"I _am_ a teenager, Jay. Nobody is keeping a record."

"How come you were never ticklish, anyway?" I sound a little petulant, and she picks right up on it. She smirks and props herself up to face me.

"You know," she snarks, "for someone who _claims _to be over one hundred and fifty -" I slap at her and she deflects me easily, laughing. "I am ticklish, I was just never stupid enough to tell you where." We lie in silence for a bit, and at length she reaches out and tucks my hair away from my face. She used to do it when we were children, and the gesture is comforting and familiar. But this time she also traces my jaw just gently, strokes my face a little.

"I always somehow wanted you to be alive. Even though it was selfish, I sort of wanted you to be like me. You were the best friend I'd ever had, and when you moved, I thought I'd lost you forever. When I was changed, I thought there was a chance. Please don't hate me for that."

"I don't hate you for it, Jay. I was almost happy when I realised what you'd become. But then I couldn't find you. I thought you had died. When I realised Maria had you - I almost _wanted _you to be dead." She traces a few of the scars, the ones on my neck mostly, very gently. "And then, in Volterra, when Aro said Carlisle had adopted a veteran of the Southern Wars, I asked your name. He didn't know it." She looks right at me, and I suddenly get the feeling she can see my very soul, see right through me, see everything about me. Her golden eyes are burning. "And I ran from Volterra to the airport, and I got on the first plane to the USA, ending up in New York, and ran the rest of the way. I hoped against hope it was you." She looks at me for a little longer. "Even in the man you have become, I still can recognize the cheeky ten-year-old who used to get me into trouble. You've barely changed."

"You haven't either. Still the same hair - I used to pull it down, out of all those pins, because they gave you a headache, and you didn't dare do it yourself. You used to protest, but every time you'd admit you preferred it down."

"Oh, that's what I don't miss about the 1800's. All those clothes, all that fuss."

"What do you miss about those years - those years before the war, when we were children?"

"I miss all the innocence, how simple the world was then. I could hold your hand if I wanted, and you could kiss my cheek if you wanted, and there was nothing sexual about it. You could cuddle me close, lie on the grass watching the clouds holding on to me - and it would just be _us_, Bella and Jay, nothing _sexy_ about it. And I had my life all planned out. I'd grow up, I'd get married and I would have children, with a man who loved me, whom I could love back. Especially since we weren't rich or anything. I could have just married a man I fell in love with, who loved me, who would take me out to drive and court me using flowers and silly gifts. It was all so simple, so innocent back then. We could spend hours and hours together, and I knew I could trust you with me darkest secrets. That's what I miss, Jay. The easy way it was."

"I miss that too. We were so carefree. Just children. It seems like there is no childhood today. Do you remember when we camped out in your garden, and watched the stars? We made pictures with them."

"And the time you showed me that rabbit I just couldn't see, and you got so cross with me."

"It was a rabbit! Not my fault you're blind, darlin'."

"Oh, I definitely missed that when we moved away. When you were trying to coax me, when I was particularly stubborn, when Bells didn't work -"

"I used to call you darlin', and you'd crumble. Oh, I knew all the tricks."

"You did. And I knew how to get round you."

"You'd put your arms round my waist, rest your little head on my shoulder, and you'd make your eyes go huge and your lips all pouty, and you'd call me Jay, and say please, if you love me. And used to give in." I shake my head at the memory. "We knew exactly how to get round each other's defences."

Emmett suddenly crashes through the undergrowth and nearly steps on Bella.

"If you two have raked over the past enough, Esme wants to know if you're going to bother coming back tonight. Oh, hey Bella."

"Hey, Emmett. Could you get off my hand now?"

"Oh, sorry," he says, not sounding the least bit sorry. "Well?"

"We're coming back. But I'm not sure -"

"No, Jay, I think we've resurrected the ghosts of our childhood for long enough. And now I've found you, we can talk again. We have eternity, after all. Emmett, seeing as you trod on me, you can help me up." She could easily get up herself, but he helps her anyway.

EmmettPOV

"Carlisle, they were talking about the past," I begin, as soon as Bella and Jasper are safely out the way. I keep my voice low.

"Well, they were friends - it's normal they rake over their past together. They grew up as friends, and their parents probably intended for them to marry one day. Jasper's finally got someone to talk to who remembers his childhood as intimately as he does."

"No, I mean, they remember conversations, specific events, word for word. Right down to what they used to say to each other when they'd play together. Most of us can't remember being children."

"I can't explain that. Perhaps it's because they knew each other so well. I gather they were rather intimate as children?"

"Sounded like that." He smiles at me.

"I wouldn't worry Emmett."

She's still a mystery, still an enigma. But Jasper trusts her, and that's enough for me. For now.

**_A/N: I changed this weird thing vampires have of struggling to remember their human lives a bit. If a vampire knew their mate before they were changed, they can remember the time spent with that mate. The Cullen's don't know this. Anyway, Bella and Jasper will take numerous trips down the memories. There's a lot of build up to this story, so please let me know if it gets boring! PLEASE REVIEW!_**

_Belle = Beautiful _


	3. First Days

**_A/N: Over 20 reviews already :) I LOVE you guys :). Well, lets crack on shall we?_**

First Day

JPOV

Bella comes with us the next day. The story we will present is fixed and agreed on: Bella is Alice's cousin, moved in from Italy after years of being out of touch. Italy works, as Bella has a very slight European accent. She was vague about the amount of time she'd spent in Europe, because she wasn't really very sure, but I was guessing it had been a while. She was even vaguer about Volterra itself, but Carlisle had warned us not to push her already, even though she'd only been with us less than a day. She accompanies me to most of my classes, apart from biology, because Alice and I take physics. She swings into Mr Banner's room with Edward by her side. They have an easy patter already - and we assume it's because Edward can sit and listen to her talk about Chicago in the years she spent there - ironically, she'd been there at the same time as Carlisle, except she was working as a singer/waitress in a bar across town. She remembered Edward's city with a little more clarity than Carlisle as she spent a significant amount of time there, working as a nurse at the same hospital Carlisle had, a year after he left. She thinks she was in Chicago for around ten years. She actually fumbled around in a box she'd brought with her, and produced a photograph.

_The previous night…_

"_Bella," I said, leaning casually against her doorframe, "what exactly are you doing?"_

"_When I was in Chicago, I met an Edward Masen. I sang at his wife's fortieth birthday, and afterwards, they got their photograph taken with me as a memento, and I wonder whether this Edward Masen is Edward's father. I kept a copy. I keep lots of memories." She patted the big cardboard box. "Jay, you promise me that you never touch that box, or any other boxes you happen to see with my name on."_

"_I promise, Bella." She danced downstairs and pressed the snapshot into Edward's hands. _

"_My God," he'd whispered, staring at the sepia toned, faded photograph. "Bella -"_

"_You keep that, Edward. That's yours."_

She slipped into the seat beside me in the canteen. She squeezed my arm, smiling slightly.

"Just don't breathe, Jay."

"Shut up," I snarl, surprising everyone, including myself. "You don't _understand_, so for the love of God, don't pretend to!" She takes her hands off me like I've held a flame to them and she very pointedly turns away from me, talking to Alice instead.

"Alice, I have heard from reliable sources that you are the shopper of the family."

"She's hell," Emmett grumbles. "Drags us all with her, makes me spend hours waiting outside dressing rooms -"

"Do you like shopping, Bella?" Alice asks excitedly. I don't need Edward's power to know she's thinking: "fresh meat".

"Indeed I do, Alice. When I was in Paris -"

"You've been to Paris?!" Alice shrieks, causing Mike Newton to drop his tray in alarm and hasten away.

"Oh yes, ages ago, whilst I was wandering Europe. Milan too." Alice looks like she might explode. "I met Gabrielle Chanel - I must show you the dress she designed for me. Oh, that woman was fantastic. Wonderful designer. She designed my debutante dress. I still have it. It was - oh, let me see - it must have been 1919, I think, possibly the twenties. I was a flapper. Oh, that was when she was calling herself Coco, and the classics are still her best designs."

"Bella, I am in love. Edward, sorry, my sweet, but you cannot compare to Coco Chanel herself. You are my soul sister! You absolutely have to show me and Rose that dress as soon as we get home!"

"Alice, I have two dresses. A casual party dress and my debutante dress. You can see them both," Bella is calm as she delivers this news. Alice is practically steaming with excitement, and even Rosalie's eyes are dancing. And the clever part of my brain reflects that I was stupid to snap at her, stupid to get angry. The vengeful, malicious part of it whispers that I did the right thing, that she _doesn't_ understand and she can go to hell for all I care. She and Alice have Spanish with me the next lesson, and she continues to ignore me. We are paired up, seeing as Alice is with Edward. Her conversation is about dresses, except she's saying it all in Spanish. I feel half sorry for him, but I'm still furious. I am sick of all this pretence, all the fucking sympathy, all the fucking pitying glances. And now she's here, it's all worse. She's never had an issue, and I watch her golden eyes as they dart over the textbook, taking it in.

"Jasper, calm down," she hisses at me. She says it in English, far too quietly for anyone to hear her. I snap my head round a little too quickly. That's weird, I didn't see her lips move. "Calm the fuck down, now!" The urgency is in her tone, and it's that sound of slight worry that does it.

"What? Why should I?"

"Please, just calm down!" She's begging, the pleading tone in her voice. I stare at my notebook. "God Jay, if you love me, please calm down!" Her voice sounds so much like it did when we were ten, I calm down immediately. Then she gets to her feet.

"Sra Goff, Jasper no está bien. ¿Puedo llevarlo a la enfermera?

"Sí, Isabella." She takes my hand and drags me from the room. I can feel the rage bubbling up inside me again.

She drags me out of the school building, to the forest at the edges of the grounds.

"What the fuck, Bella?"

"Jay, I'm sorry, but I had to do something!" She cries in agitation, twisting her fingers. She used to do it when she was upset, and as a reflex, I reach out, take her hands in mine and untangle them, pulling her closer.

"What do you mean?"

"You were so furious, and you were - you were going to lose control."

"How - I wasn't - not thirsty -" I can't pull my thoughts together, and stare down at her.

"Alice. Alice saw that something would set you off today. She didn't want to tell you, because she was afraid you'd refuse to come to school. I had to get you out of there."

"Bella, tell me what would have happened." She bites her lip, and I lose it. "Tell me, damnit!" She jumps, visibly startled.

"You would have attacked a kid on the way to gym. Her name was Vikki, and she'd smell too good. Because you were already so upset, you wouldn't have been focusing on control. And you would have killed her, right there, with everybody watching."

"Why didn't you yank me out at lunch, when I first started getting angry?"

"Because I wanted you to calm yourself down and change your own destiny!" She shouts those lasts words, and a jaybird takes off behind her, chattering his astonishment. "I wanted to test you."

"You were using me as an _experiment_?"

"Jasper, please, try and understand," she pleads, holding my upper arms and looking deep into my eyes. I get that same feeling of being laid bare before her as I had by the banks of the river. "The others have told me what it does to you after you lose control. How you get - it's not for the sake of these humans I want you to learn Jasper, it's for you. I pulled you out because you weren't calming down. If you had, if I'd been able to get you to calm down, it would have been OK. You would have walked past her and felt only what you usually do."

I walked away from her, and she chose to let me go. I walked back to the house, past Esme and shut myself in my room. I heard the others arriving home, and Esme asking what had happened. I heard Carlisle come in later, and somebody told him the story. And then there was a tapping on my window. I jerked round and met Edward's eyes. He was beckoning me to go with him.

_The pair were hunting, this was obvious to the watcher. The blond haired one looked like he was fighting some internal battle with himself, looking frustrated and sad. The red head was thinking hard about something, occasionally glancing at his companion with a frown on his face. As they hunted, the watcher could hear a few thoughts, stray ones, mostly about a girl whom the blond called Bella, whom he appeared to have upset in some way, and was feeling guilty. The red head thought of a dark girl he called Alice, and wondered how he was going to shake her off shopping when they got home. And he was also worried about his companion - he called him "brother" in his mind. It made the watcher smile, glad that their bond was so strong. _

_When they had hunted, they sat down together on the banks of a stream._

"_I could have lost it today, Edward. And all she wanted to do was test me."_

"_I tried to advise against the plan. She pointed out that you had to learn, and that she wasn't going to see you beat yourself up about it. We all tried to point outt he dangers of letting you go any where near gym today. And she tossed her head, sniffed and asked us if we really thought she wasn't strong enough to make you stop. The original plan was that no mater what happened, you went to gym anyway, regardless of your mood. She said she had a plan to make you stop if it was going to happen. Emmett talked her into a compromise - or rather, he charmed his way into a compromise, although I gather she wasn't happy about it." The watcher now knew everything they needed - this Bella was important to this blond, and that the blond had issues with self-control. And Bella could help him with that self control. The watcher nodded secretly. And, as silently as they had followed the pair, withdrew, leaving them alone with no notion they had ever been watched. _

**_A/N: Well, what did people think? Remember what I said about build-up, and don't worry, there's a few chapters left before it all goes to hell. And who is the mysterious watcher? Feel free to guess! Please review, I love them lots - and they make Jasper hot ;)_**


	4. My Heart Still Beats

**_A/N: Well done to those of you who got guessing at to the identity of the watcher. I'm afraid I can't tell you who it is just yet, seeing as our Watcher plays a nice big part in the whole story. And over thirty reviews!!! Did I mention that I love you guys??_**

APOV

He takes her hand and takes her to his room as soon as he and Edward get back.

"Carlisle," Edward says, sighing softly, "I think we need to let Bella help him. I think that we have done everything we can for Jasper. And if she can help him, perhaps we should let her."

"I agree with Edward," Rosalie pipes up, looking at us all. "Jasper can help himself, and all she proposes really is to let him get on with it. For her to never leave his side, just in case he loses it."

"But Jasper struggles -" Emmett says, looking at me for support.

"Jasper will struggle until you let Jasper try. Think about it. When have any of us given him a chance? When have we given him any space to prove he can do it?" I retort, looking up at Edward.

"We haven't. But if we do give him a chance, we know what will happen. We all know how it ends for Jasper." Esme says, sadly.

"But what if it didn't have to be that way?" Edward argues. "What if Bella can give him that control he needs? You've seen how he gets after he loses control. If he can get a respite, a release from it all - if Bella can give him that, then who are we to say no to her?"

"I think we should leave this decision in the hands of Jasper and Bella. I've no doubt they're listening in, and I'm sure they're old enough to decide for themselves. I think that we should give them some privacy. Jasper wouldn't appreciate us all listening in to his private struggles." Carlisle says, and his tone leaves no room for us to argue. One by one, we all leave. And one by one, we all look at the window of Jasper's room - praying to Gods that would automatically damn us, asking them to help our brother.

JPOV

We listened to them talk, and we listened to them leave. My head was in her lap, and we were sitting like we always did - my head on her lap, her leaning against the nearest vertical or sloping surface, threading her fingers through my hair. We were on my bed, and I was staring at the ceiling looking at a cobweb that had appeared somehow between when I went hunting and now.

"I'm sorry, Jasper. I should have asked you first."

"How would you have presented that? 'Hey, Jasper, Alice has seen a vision of you losing control. Would you mind if I conducted a little experiment while you try not to kill people?' Oh yes, Bella, that would have worked really well."

"I know. But what I did was still wrong."

"They think you can teach me. Can you teach me?" She hears the hope. And when she shakes her head sadly, I feel the drop in my stomach, that feeling of being let down.

"You can't be taught control, Jaybird," she whispers softly, and I start at the nickname she only ever used when her heart was breaking. She used it only twice when we were little. When her cat died, and she grieved like a ten year old girl can grieve for a pet she'd loved. And she used it the day she got told she was moving away, and she ran to me and cried in my arms for a while.

"_Promise me, Jaybird, promise me you won't forget me!" _

"If I could teach you control, I would be doing it right now. But I can't. It's something you personally have to find. Oh, I can walk that path with you! I can be with you every step of the way, but I can't teach it to you."

"Then what do I do?" If I were human, I'd be crying. She pulls me up and hugs me, wrapping her arms around me. I bury my face in the join between her neck and her shoulder. "What do I do, Bella?"

"You think about the human. You think about their life," she says, simply. "You think about what they like to do, and you think about their family. You think about the future they can have, what they could become." She hooks her fingers under my chin and looks me in the eyes. "You think about life, Jasper."

"I can't go back to school for a few day. I can't handle it, Bella."

"If you hide, then you'll never be able to face it. You walk back into school tomorrow, and you keep trying, Jasper."

"It hurts, Angel," and I feel her jolt at the sound of her old nickname. "It hurts."

"I know, honey, I know. I know it hurts you. I would do anything to take that pain away." I look into deep golden eyes, and I know she means it.

And so, against my better judgement, I return to school the next day. I ask her to point Vikki out to me, and she does so, gesturing at a tiny blonde girl, even smaller than Alice, talking to her friends. Horror washes through me. She's so little, so thin. She wouldn't have been able to even shudder as I bit into her. My throat bursts into flames.

"Jasper, perhaps not thinking that -" Edward murmurs.

"Sorry."

"Don't apologise, it's normal for us." Bella whispers.

"Not for you," I mutter. "You never had a problem."

"But, Jasper," she protests, making her eyes go huge and wide, "since when have I been normal?" It breaks the tension, and we all laugh. I don't even think about it. I slip my arm around her waist and give her a hug. She leans into it straight away, resting her head on my shoulder. Then she wriggles out of my grasp and leaves me to the tender mercies of Emmett and Edward while she, Alice and Rosalie swan off to get changed for gym. Alice starts chattering straight away.

BPOV

"Bella," Alice pouts, her little face full of comical hurt. I laugh and slip my arm round her waist.

"What is it, little pixie?"

"You never showed us your dresses."

"Indeed I didn't. Well, are you free tonight to peruse my collection?"

"You have a collection?"

"I do, Rose, yes. Not all original Chanel, but some gorgeous dresses none the less. The dress I wore for my prom - I had a prom you know, the last time I did high school. - you'll probably like that one. And then, I have clothes in my wardrobe that would cause Aly here to faint and start a fire."

"Oh, Rose, I feel it's make over time!"

"Oh, God, no." I like dresses, don't get me wrong - every now and then I like to get dressed up and make a fuss, but that's for formal events, like balls and so on. On a normal day, it is jeans and a t-shirt, thank you very much. And no make up.

"Bella, if you truly love me -"

"Aly, I pull that one on Jay, it is _not_ going to work on me. And you've known me two days."

"Bella-Boo, I am a clairvoyant! You and I will be great friends, we all will. We will be closer than close. We will share _everything_."

"Aly, why don't I like the sound of that?"

"Because you are terrified, as you should be," Rosalie chimes in. "Aly and I share everything, right down to sex stories about the beautiful men we are lucky enough to have. And we have no doubt someone as gorgeous as you has a few conquests under her belt and tonight, we are going to settle in your room and we are going to talk." I raise my eyebrows.

"Is that so?"

"It is. And," Rose announces gleefully, "you are going to tell us exactly how you feel about our brother."

"Edward? Well, he's handsome, of course. And Emmett, what can be said about Emmett?"

"Bella, you know full well we mean Jasper. Now come on, lets go play tennis."

We settle on my bed when the day draws to a close. The boys have been banished, and we hear them laughing down the hall. I go to my closet and pull out the two dresses Alice is practically exploding with excitement over.

"They aren't very nice, I'm afraid. But it was all the rage back then." However, Alice goes into transports of delight, especially over my debutante dress, running faded silk through her fingers. Rose prefers the flapper dress, done in diamond shapes of gold and black. When she and Alice have cooed over them to their hearts content, Alice anchors her arms around my waist. I laugh. It's bizarre - I have been here just two days, almost three, and I already feel like I've been here for years, that I'm part of the family.

"You _are_ part of the family, Bella," Edward calls from down the hall. "You're letting down your guard more and more. Does that mean you trust me?"

"A little bit, perhaps! But defiantly _not_ whilst you're eavesdropping on both my thoughts and our conversation!"

"Edward Cullen, remove yourself from earshot immediately!" Alice orders. "We are trying to have a girly conversation with our new sister!"

"Well, _we're_ trying to have a man-to-man conversation with Jasper here! Why don't _you_ remove yourselves from earshot?"

"Yeah," Emmett starts. "Why don't you girls take Bella hunting, show her the local wildlife selection? Or, even better, go paint your nails somewhere else!"

"Emmett! We are not painting our nails! We're trying to discuss sex!" Rosalie shrieks, ignoring the fact he'd be able to hear a normal tone of voice.

"Rose, for Gods' sake, he's two doors down the damn hall! They can hear us if we whisper." I snark, poking her in the ribs.

"Good point, well made, Bella," Jasper joins in the conversation. "Why are we yelling at each other?"

"Jasper if you want to go join the girls and let them beautify you, just say," Edward sniggers, somewhat childishly. "We don't mind."

"Children!" Carlisle yells up the stairs at us, exasperation evident in his tone. "Shut up, or get out! Esme and I do not want to listen to your domestic! Boys, go hunting. I know for a fact Jasper needs one, and Edward, you could probably do with one. Emmett, it is bear season. Go fight your food and shut up!"

We scamper over to the window and wave them off, snickering quietly. We sprawl on my bed, which I have simply because I like to lie about and read. We moved all the possessions from my little flat to here the same day I arrived.

"So…sex stories." I hedge, trying to keep it on that as opposed to my childhood friend.

"No dice! That, my friend, was merely a ruse. We don't discuss what we do in private time. However," Rose says, smirking, "we will discuss precisely how you feel about Jasper - or Jay, as you persist in calling him."

"Oh, Jay is what I called him when I was very small. I couldn't say Jasper."

"How do you remember your past, Bella?" Alice interrupts. "I mean, I can't remember a bloody thing, but Rose can remember bits and pieces."

"But I can't remember things to the degree you and Jasper can remember Houston and your childhood together."

"I don't know how I do it." I frown, thinking. "Everything else about my human life is a blur. My parents, my other friends, my time in New York before I was changed, all that is fuzzy and difficult. But I remember every single second I spent with Jasper."

"Weird. So how do you feel about him?" Alice persists.

"I don't know. I used to imagine growing up and marrying him. And the part of me that is still ten years old and swimming in rivers with Jay still wants that. But I don't know how I feel about him now. All I know is that every time I touch him, I could swear I feel my heart beat again."

**_A/N: How about reviewing people? Oh, and thank you to the person who sugested Angel as a nickname! as you can see, i used it! Reviews make Jasper that bit hotter, Edward that bit wierder and Emmett just that little bit cheekier! What did people think of the Cullen family row???_**


	5. Taking Baby Steps

**_A/N: Translations from the Italian are at the bottom…_**

Taking Baby Steps

JPOV

"Jasper, start talking," Edward demands as soon as we're out of earshot of the house, and therefore Bella.

"What about?" I ask innocently, looking at him casually.

"Jasper - or should we start calling you Jay? - you know full damn well we mean Bella. What's the deal with you two?" Emmett says blandly.

"We were childhood friends. We grew up together for the first ten years of our human lives. She's someone I never thought I'd see again."

"And there's a point. What are the odds?" Edward muses.

"What do you mean?" Emmett asks.

"Oh, come on guys. Bella and Jasper grow up in Houston together. Then, suddenly, she leaves - her parents up sticks and move somewhere else. Fair enough. They're both caught up in the same war, and she flees to New York to escape it, where she meets this mysterious stranger who happens to be a vampire. He changes her and then leaves her. At roughly the same time, you are changed and recruited for the vampire wars. She goes back to Texas and finds Maria - gets so close it's within touching distance, but for whatever reason, fails to find you. She then goes to Volterra and snoops around when she finds out about Carlisle and us. Aro tells her veteran of the southern wars, and she gets on a plane and comes all the way here on the off-chance it'll be you. It's like - it's like fate. It's like you were always meant to be together."

"Fate?" Emmett snorts. "What - like destiny?"

"Destiny." I repeat. "Fate." I think about it, and they watch me. "I never really believed in fate."

"Looks like you have to," Edward stipulates. "Because it looks like you and Bella are meant to be together." Suddenly, he grins. "Come on, lets go hunting."

APOV

Edward and I exchange knowing glances when the boys get back from hunting. Bella frowns at Jasper and Emmett.

"Boys, you know you were meant to be hunting as opposed to bathing in your preys blood." She sniffs the air. "Emmett, you are so predictable. And Jasper, good taste." He grins at her.

"You like wolves too then?"

"Yes, I do." She says, grinning at him. "But where did you find them?"

"Northern flaming Canada." Emmett grumbles, heading for the stairs. "Northern Canada, for God's sake. That explains why we've been gone nearly five hours and it is now dark outside." Jasper advances on Bella, grinning suddenly.

"Jasper, don't you dare!" she squeals. "This is my favourite shirt!" She gets up and shoots up the stairs. Her door slams twice and then we hear a shriek of protest. "Jasper Whitlock, I swear, if you touch me with those hands, I'll rip them off! I warning you, this is my favourite shirt."

"Take it off then. It never used to bother you before."

"But we were ten, and you weren't covered in blood then! Urgh, get away from me! No, don't! Jay, I'm warning you, if you touch my bed!" Carlisle looks at me and Edward, and we smile innocently.

"Tonight's the night they kiss for the first time! They're soul mates!"

JPOV

She narrows her eyes at me threateningly.

"One more step -" I take one more step towards her, bringing her almost within touching distance. "God, go shower or something."

"Why, do I smell bad?"

"Oh, no, quite the opposite. You smell like wolf. Watch it, Jay, or my super-self-control won't be quite so super!" I spring at her and cuddle her close, stroking her face. She screams and wriggles out of my grasp. "Jasper! You evil, wicked, rotten, horrible idiot!" she screeches, looking at her blouse and hands. "If it's in my hair, you shall pay."

"I don't think it is." I inspect closely, combing my fingers through it. "It is now!" She runs her own hand through her long hair and inspects. I notice her eyes are not as gold as they were. They're darker, closer to a brown. She slaps me, once, hard. "I am going to take a shower. If you know what's good for you, Jay, you won't be here when I get back." She storms out, and less than a second later, the water starts running. I take my own shower, sniggering. I used to do that to her when we were younger. When I'd gotten covered in mud, I'd hug her, sharing it with her, and she'd scream and run away, just like she had now. So what if it was wolf blood this time?

I got out before she did, and changed into clean jeans and a button down check shirt. I sat cross-legged on her bed, and waited patiently for her. She came in wearing just her towel. She crossed her arms over her chest and shrieked.

"Jasper!" She screamed. "Get the hell out of my room!"

"Shit, Bella, I didn't think about it! I'm sorry." I try looking anywhere but at her. At those legs, at her chest, at her face, her hair. Oh Christ, she's all wet. I stand up, edging for the door. She gets in my way, her face flushed.

"Don't think about this!"

"I should think he's already seen it in my head, Bella." Oh, she smells so good. I don't realise I'm sniffing her hair and I'm about an inch away from her until she pokes me in the ribs.

"Jasper? Err - Jasper?"

"Fuck, Bella, you smell good." What the fuck is wrong with me? My brain and my mouth seem to be completely unconnected. My mouth is blithering on, saying everything my head is telling me not to say. I don't let people in, not ever. Not after Maria. Nobody knows what goes on in my head, except Edward, and he doesn't discuss it. But now I'm setting myself up, making myself vulnerable. My mind wanders south, seeing if it can find any sense, and I feel myself harden. I hang my head, desperately trying to find an excuse. Suddenly her fingers hook under my chin, making my eyes meet hers, and she kisses me.

"Take me to the wolves."

She hunts beside me that night, and I settle myself down to watch her. She's graceful, even balletic as she hunts, and there's something about those huge deep eyes that seems to hypnotise her prey. That hypnotise me, for goodness sake. She's enchanting, quite literally, as she takes down a wolf and feeds. When she stands up, she doesn't even have a hair out of place. She strolls over to me, where I stand beneath a willow tree. She smiles gently, and I meet her molten eyes with my own. They're the same bright, liquidy gold as they were when she first came here.

"We should be getting back. I would think it's nearly midnight."

"We aren't children any more, Bella. We can stay out till past midnight."

"Be that as it may, it's dark, and there's no moon tonight. A new moon, in fact, sweetheart." The endearment makes me smile. I'd barely noticed the darkness. She seems to glow, almost luminous is her beauty. She's right about the moon too, although the night is clear, and the stars seem bright enough to light up the banks of the river she's standing by. Or it's her. I'm not very sure.

"Shooting star, Bells." The comet trails pure fire behind her head, leaving behind some kind of bizarre halo. If it's possible for the damned to be angels, she was it.

"_Mio angelo caduto_," I whisper, and she smiles softly as I come forward and hug her close, resting my chin on her sweet hair, breathing in that scent that is so Bella, so right.

"_Mia stella di luce," _she whispers, turning her face to the crook of my neck and kissing the spot where my pulse would be. And in that jolting second, I'd swear I felt it throb again, beneath her lips.

Our kiss this time could have lasted hours, could have seen the forest become a fireball, and neither of us would have noticed. Neither of us would have cared. She nipped my bottom lip lightly between her teeth and stroked my neck gently. She's fantastic, a full-blown goddess, and she's _mine_. Suddenly the twilight world of the undead doesn't seem so dark, doesn't seem so depressing, doesn't seem so hopeless. Blinded by her light, I'm dazzled and absolutely helpless. I know that she is what has been missing since the day she left since we were ten. That magic, that spark - it hasn't been there for nearly a century and a half, and I'm glad beyond reason to have it back. I take her back home at dawn, in time to shower and change before school the next day. The others' exchange knowing glances and nudges. We ignore them, but Emmett makes a couple of pointed remarks about us holding hands under the table in the cafeteria at school. She pokes her tongue out at him, and I steal a kiss from her. The others get up and leave, and we don't actually notice. I forget everything I ever said about Rose and Emmett or Alice and Edward being annoying with the love thing, and let myself drown in her eyes. I reckon she's worth it.

**_A/N: Ahem. How cute. Well, they're together. I hope I haven't rushed this! Please tell me if you hate it, if you feel this happened entirely too fast. Review with brutal honesty people!_**

_Mio angelo caduto: My fallen angel_

_Mia stella di luce: My star light _


	6. The Most Terrible of Losses

_**A/N: I got my first bad review! Hahahahahaa. It was entertaining. It was one of those unsigned ones, because I allow anonymous reviews, and it just said "boring" in capital letters! To whoever sent it: "Congratulations. You're an idiot." I mean, hello? Cool, you find it boring. I'm OK with that, I get that not everyone will like my stories. But couldn't you have at least taken the trouble to tell me WHY you found it boring? HOW I could have improved it? I really love reviews, good AND bad, but if you must not like it, can you tell me WHY? Typing one word telling me it's boring just makes me giggle. So, thanks for your review! You actually made me laugh! Anyway, to continue with my "boring" story, here is chapter six! As always, R&R!**_

The Most Terrible Of Losses

Bella barely leaves my side - and this is partly because I refuse to let her. Finally, I have my baby back, finally my girl is back by my side after nearly one hundred and fifty years, and I have no plans to be letting her go any time soon.

"Darlin', don't you wonder what life would've been like if you hadn't left, if you'd stayed when we were ten?" I ask her one night, a week after we shared that kiss. She's sitting on my bed, leaning against the headboard, and my head is in her lap, combing my hair through her fingers.

"We wouldn't have been vampires, I'm betting. We'd probably have grown up together, got married. I knew that was what my parents were planning, before Daddy got that job, and we had to move." She pauses, and her fingers still. "That's it," she breathes, "that's it. Fate, destiny - everything Edward said to you was true. If we hadn't been pulled apart, there wouldn't have been a new way for us to be together. We would have been married, and had pretty babies, and prettier grandbabies. We would have got old and grey and died together."

"Huh. Us. Babies."

"Scares the hell out of you, doesn't it?" she queries, with a quiet laugh, and strokes my hair again, rhythmically.

BPOV

I try not to let him see this conversation is bothering me. I can almost see it - sitting on a porch, of the house all our children had been born and raised in, a house many years older than us, Jasper and I with grey hair. A handsome young man with his hand on my shoulder - our eldest son, as his own children tumble at Jasper's feet to listen to him tell them stories.

"Baby?" His voice enters my world with a ringing sharpness. There is worry in his face. "Baby, what's wrong?"

"Oh, nothing Jay -"

"Bullshit," he says, calmly sitting himself beside me instead on lying down and gathering me up into his arms so I can rest my head on his chest. "you weren't here just then. You were looking at something. You don't do Alice, do you?"

"No, Jay, I can't see the future," I say, smiling gently.

"Would you have preferred that outcome?" He asks, quietly. "Do you still long for that to be possible?"

"For what to be possible, Jay?"

"For us to have babies. You and I. Babies, for us to be able to have babies together. If I could give you -"

"Jasper it doesn't matter now. It isn't possible, so why worry about it?"

"But did - do - you want it?"

"It's the thing I miss most about being human," I admit. "Knowing that that will never be possible for me. And yes, before you ask, I would have happily settled down with you, got married to you and had babies with you. And yes, if I found a way, even now, for me to be able to have a child, I would take it without thinking about it." I close my eyes, welcome the darkness. He holds me closer, his lips kissing my hair. I cling to his shirt, rubbing my cheek on the soft cotton.

"_Mi dispiace, bella_," he murmurs, kissing my cheek gently, then my lips, a feather touch of hot breath he doesn't need brushing against my lips.

"When did you learn Italian?" I mumble, not quite trusting myself to meet his eyes just yet.

"It was a time-filler, after I met the Cullen's. Distracted me, too, from the cravings, and everything else. All the memories of Maria, and so on. And I always wanted to learn another language. You speak it too."

"Learned it before I went to Volterra. I figured that it couldn't hurt to be prepared. I learnt French before I went to France and Canada, learned Spanish before I went to Spain. I can also speak German, Russian, enough Polish to get by and a few choice phases in Portuguese. Oh, and I'm fluent in Romany, too."

"You always were a clever girl, Bella."

"Yeah, but I got around a lot. I sort of had to learn it. And Aro doesn't speak Romany, so I always had that slight advantage of muttering under my breath in Romany whenever he pissed me off, which happened quite a lot. I think he was quite pleased when I eventually left."

"You must have really irritated him."

"I got on his nerves more or less daily. Not least because he knew I was powerful and I not only refused to tell him how powerful, he couldn't get inside my head to force it out of me. And because I used to enjoy playing mind games with him, and Caius, every now and again. Caius is more entertaining to annoy, but more dangerous."

"You mind-gamed Caius, and yet you aren't a pile of gently smoking ashes?" Jasper asks, his face incredulous.

"Correct."

"What sort of mind-games?"

"Now, if I told you that, what secrets would I have left? No, it was mostly harmless jokes, really. Swapping human blood for animal blood, that sort of thing. But it screwed with his head. He was wondering if he was going mad."

Back to school is odd, after a weekend spent discussing nothing, lying in patches of rare sunlight, watching each other go about our business. I watch him play video games with Emmett, and he watches me sketch, or play piano or, once, my violin. School feels so ordinarily ordinary after the extraordinariness of the ordinary weekend. He holds my hand as we walk down the halls, and he kisses me whenever we part, and whenever we meet again. Then he holds me close in the canteen, his arm firm around my waist, fingertips dancing along my thigh as he strokes my leg just gently. My hand on his leg, trying to convince myself he's real by constantly touching him, constantly kissing him, running my hands through his hair.

To their credit, the others manage nearly two weeks of us. To give them their dues, they don't say anything about it. I understand completely that it must be annoying for them: I've been around enough newly-mated vampire couples to understand how the constant love and devotion can be stressful for others, as well as downright sickly-sweet. Jasper gets that too, but he told me a few days ago that the only emotions he could feel now were love and hope. And he hadn't felt hope in years. He was barely even aware of

"Christ, you two, give us a break!" Emmett hisses, glaring at us. I drag my eyes away from Jasper, and focus on Emmett.

"What?"

"God! You two! Put each other down, for the love of all that is holy! I actually feel physically sick, so congratulations, you made the undead do the impossible." Emmett could fry eggs with the burning glare he is currently projecting. "Can't you just screw each other already?"

"Urgh, Emmett, you're so crude," Edward murmurs, before directing his gaze at us. "But seriously guys, he has a point. I mean, give us a break. I actually have toothache."

"Sorry," I mumble, before going right back to looking at Jasper. We sort of hear them leave, and part of my brain is sorry we made them do that. And then any and all resistance crumbles the moment his lips touch mine.

He takes me hunting a few days later. It's been such a pleasant haze of kisses, hugs, and murmured endearments, we both forgot that his control wasn't good, and borderline perilous when he hadn't hunted in almost a fortnight.

JPOV

"Why didn't you tell me you hadn't hunted? Have you been in pain?"

"_Caro_, it doesn't matter. We've remembered now, and according to the Canadian news, they are having a few wolf problems up near Anchorage." She huffs impatiently and throws a jacket on, even though she doesn't need it.

"Don't fob me off with Italian endearments, as sexy as you may be when you speak it. You've been in pain, haven't you, for days, and I didn't notice."

"Bella -"

"I didn't notice, because I was so wrapped up in you and kissing you, and being happy. Christ, I've been so selfish. I forgot you weren't in control, I forgot you have to feed more often -"

"Isabella!" She turns at the sound of her full name. "We both forgot, _tesoro_, so there's no problem, is there? It isn't your fault. I've barely felt the bloodlust these past few weeks with you. I've barely felt a thing," I promise her, taking her face in my hands and kissing her lips gently. And every word of it is the truth. I have barely even been aware of the fire at the back of my throat. I've barely thought about the need to hunt. "Come on, lets go to Anchorage, hunt us some wolf."

"Oh, can't we go somewhere else?"

"Where were you thinking?"

"Get in the car, sweets, and I'll show you."

I should probably point out here that Bella's car is gorgeous. Blue Audi A3 and lots of power. She barely even knows what she's driving, and brought it because it was "pretty" apparently. This is the point where our relationship reaches stalemate. As long as it moves and gets her around, she doesn't give a shit what it looks like. I like cars, actually love cars, and the casual way she talks about her car drives me mad. She won't let me mess with the engine either, stating that it works perfectly, and she'd thank me to stay off her car.

So we get in, and she drives up to Goat Rocks.

"Bears? You know they aren't in season, right?"

"And the laws of hunting cover guns. Are you planning on using a gun, sweetheart?"

"No -"

"Then there's no problem. I felt like a change, and bears seem like a good place to start. Scared, Jay?"

"Never in a million years, Bella."

"Well, come on then."

"Car, Bella. You need to lock that thing." She fumbles with keys and presses the appropriate button. We set off together, hand in hand, and spot Bella's first target.

"Race you!" She shouts, and I go into hunting mode. I leap, bullet from a gun, and she springs lightly, arrow from a bow, taking the bear down and tackling it to the floor. Her first kill, her first bear. She drains him dry, and there's something so sensual about watching her throat, her lips as it seems she kisses the bear instead of slashing his throat. I feel myself grow hard as she battles with him briefly and as she holds him easily whilst she has her fill from his veins. There's a trickle of blood from the corner of her mouth when she rises to her feet. She traces it up with a finger, sucks it clean, her tongue licking those lips. I grab her and kiss her, and she twines her hands in my hair. When I put her away from me, she smiles lazily, and examines a drop of blood on her wrist, slowly wending it's way down her arm. I stop her before she licks it up, and clean her myself.

I turned away from her laughing, and that's when it happened. I saw him just a second before I smelt him. The man in the green jacket, with his back to me, kissing someone I couldn't see properly. And then their scent hit my senses, my throat burst into flames.

And I leapt forward…

_**A/N: R&R? Please?**_

_Mi dispiace, bella: I'm sorry, beautiful  
Caro: Dear  
Tesoro: Darling_


	7. And So It Begins

**_A/N: VERY IMPORTANT: MUST READ! Right, the first bit of this chapter is one of the reasons this story carries the M rating. Please, for the love of all that is holy, do NOT read this without being fully prepared for graphic. Jasper POV_**

And So It Begins

_PREVIOUSLY…_

_I turned away from her laughing, and that's when it happened. I saw him just a second before I smelt him. The man in the green jacket, with his back to me, kissing someone I couldn't see properly. And then their scent hit my senses, my throat burst into flames._

_And I leapt forward…_

* * *

I saw it all through my eyes like I was walking in a dream: like I was there, but not. I leapt, one graceful arc, and then I was pulling him back, my hands on his jacket. My hands looked so very pale on the green of the jacket. I never heard the girl he was with stumble. All I could see was his pulse, that delicious beat, the throb and the thrum of blood. My mouth pooled with venom as I breathed his scent in. oh, but it was glorious. I ran my fingers over his pulse, felt him stiffen beneath my touch.

"Don't, friend. Don't struggle…" My voice was almost a snarl, something feral something wild. His heart rate increased, and the pounding in his neck would have been visible to a human. I lowered my nose to his neck, inhaling. The venom was overwhelming. "I'll be quick…"

I ran my nails down the side of his face, enough to cut him, enough to give me his flavour. My tongue traces those marks, the scratches I have made and how wonderful he tastes. His little whimpers of fear makes no difference to me as I take all the blood those shallow cuts could give me. Then I turn back to that pulse and I bite. His flesh offered no resistance to me as my teeth sank into his neck. And then blood! oh, the blood. Delicious, mouth-watering, flowing down my throat, quenching fire with the delicious mouth-watering wet, hot, heady, thick, perfect. He had so much to give. I drank from him, my teeth tearing, ripping, hands holding him still, my desperation, his blood, that scent, a crack as some bone somewhere broke as I held him and he thrashed to escape, the blood, the blood, the blood…

Delicious, a scent, his struggles ceasing as his blood slowed to a trickle. I cleaned his neck, chest, face, the blood splatters, taking every drop, every single bit of life, all that richness. He was clean, dry, lying at my feet and I was sated at last. All those years of suppression! All those years of denying my thirst, when this, this was what awaited those of were immortal! My right, my prize, my life's blood. I could still taste him on my lips, licking them slowly, gently, savouring him.

His companion lay on the floor near to his body. Her eyes were wide and horrified and somehow a little shocked, as if taken by surprise. Dead then. So who killed her. I started towards her, knelt beside her, touched her. Oh, still warm. She'd still have it, that wonderful drug, it would still be in her veins, not congealing yet. If I acted fast, she'd make a lovely dessert. Traces of her scent still lingered - like fine wine, an appreciable bouquet. Not as tempting as he had been, but a dessert-worthy piece nonetheless. I wrapped arms around her shoulders, and her head flopped oddly. A broken neck. Odd. I prepared to bite her too, take her as mine, brushing dark hair from her arms when suddenly she was gone from my arms.

"NO!"

My head was full of a red haze, a fury. It tampered with my vision, blocked my senses, prevented me from seeing her.

"You'll not tamper with the dead, Jasper Whitlock!" The voice was female and familiar. It was also high with - fear?

"Stand aside, bitch, and give me back what is mine!"

"I shall not! You forget, my Jasper, you forget who you are!"

"I know that you are between me and my meal, so stand aside, before I force you from my path!"

"Please, Jasper, don't do this. Think, think about your life! Think about your soul!"

"My soul? I have no soul - I am the undead, the immortal, a soldier of the night. Killing you would not bother me."

"But it would! Don't you know me?"

"No. I do not. All I know is that you are in my way."

"She is already dead, Jasper. She has nothing to give you now."

"It's not too late -"

"Scent her, Jasper. Search for her." The delicious scent has faded, the voice is right. The burning bloodlust frenzy is dying. The red fog in front of my eyes is dying.

And realisation crashes over me. I crash to the floor. No. No. Lost control, I think, numbly. Lost it again, again, after all my promises.

"She is dead."

"Are you an angel? Why can't I see you?"

"Behind you." The vampire has mahogany curls framing a pale face, and she has dark amber eyes, like someone who has begun hunting but not finished. "Oh, my beautiful Jaybird."

Bella's heartbreak is what clears my head. I look around the scene in the clearing. The dead man. The dead bear. What she'd hunted and taken down before the whole thing went to hell and back. The dead girl. The dead man. I look down at myself. I am covered with blood, and I know it is his blood.

"Bella," I gasp out. She doesn't turn and leave me, disgusted by me. I stumble towards her, helpless, bowed down by my regret and fall at her feet. "Forgive me!" She drops to her knees and she reaches out and she takes me in her arms and she hugs me close while I sob tearless sobs.

"You've got to come with me now, Jaybird."

She drove us home, adhering to the speed limits. And as she drove, we talked.

"Alice will have already seen what happened. There were no other humans in the area. There is no need for them to leave."

"I lost it. Again. I've let Carlisle down."

"It's happened to them all. Don't beat yourself up."

"You said they wouldn't have to leave."

"They don't have to, but they will."

"How do you know that?"

"It doesn't matter how I know it. I am telling you - they will leave. But we won't be going with them."

"Why?"

"I am taking you to see someone."

"Going to lock me up in some cage strong enough to hold a vampire?"

"Don't be bloody stupid. I'm not taking you to see some vampire psychologist. I'm not sure whether they exist. Right now, it doesn't matter who we're going to see. The first thing I have to do is get you back to the Cullen's." She floored it then, drove much too fast along blind roads, and left me to dwell in the pit of my own memory.

APOV

I waited for them on the steps, watched as her car flew up the drive. She got out first, then he did. Red eyes, bloodied shirt and jeans, and something so terrible in his face.

"You're packed." She said it as a statement, not a question. I didn't ask her how she knew. I just nodded, and stepped aside. "Jay, go and change, and pack a bag. Alice - I need to talk to everyone."

"Of course. Come in."

She sits on the loveseat, and we gather. Emmett and Rose stand by the windows at the back. Edward and I sit on the couch, and Carlisle and Esme sit beside us.

"You know that you don't have to leave, Carlisle. Nobody saw us, apart from the girl, and she is not a threat."

"We will go nonetheless. In support -" Carlisle answers her, his eyes shadowed.

"Jasper would prefer it if you stayed."

"I know. But he won't want to come back here." Esme says, her face closed.

"I am going to take him with me, if you don't mind."

"No, we don't mind. You can help him?" Esme virtually begs, her face anguished now.

"I can't, but I know someone who can. Don't tell me where you'll go - I will find you, don't worry about that. I swear to you, Esme, I will bring your son back home." Bella's face is earnest. "And I am so sorry I didn't find a way to stop him. I am so sorry I failed in that."

They left, got on a plane to England. And then Bella drew her veil over them both, shielding them both from my gaze, from whoever else might be watching. She hid them, keeping them ultimately safe. The image of Jasper getting out of her car is ingrained in my memory.

**_A/N: I know this chapter is short. I know that. Simply because this is the right place to end this chapter. It was hell writing it, so please don't say it's short. PLEASE REVIEW as this is the most graphic death scene i have ever written, and i want feedback!_**


	8. Vampire Haunts

Vampire Haunts

BPOV

"What now?" he asks, voice much quieter than he'd normally speak. We're walking through London's Heathrow Airport, away from arrivals, each holding a rucksack. He's not taken off his sunglasses since Seattle. Admittedly that caused a fuss at Immigration at Seattle airport, but I paid off a few guards and got us on a plane. When we got here, I got him through Customs simply by running past them. They may ask questions about the attractive couple who got on at Seattle and failed to reappear at Heathrow.

"We get out of this airport. Immigration at Seattle saw us both, and we both got on that plane. They'll have us on CCTV getting off it, but we didn't appear at Customs here. I can't bribe everyone, and there is no way you can take the sunnies off. We get out, find a backstreet. And then we start plotting."

"Sure." He's spoken in monosyllables and nothing else since we left.

I let him sulk until we hit a suitably deserted backstreet.

"You need to snap out of it. And we need to find something else for you to wear that aren't sunnies. It's fucking raining, you can't walk around with the shades. Hand them over. I'll get you some contact lenses or something. I can't keep smuggling you past Government officials."

"Yes, you can."

"No, I can't - or won't, pick whichever suits. When you've lost control before, is this how you get? Some dark pit of self-pity?"

"Self-pity?"

"Yes, self-pity! I can help you, but I'm not helping you until you accept that losing control is not something exclusive to you, and that every vampire has done it! Except me and Carlisle, but we aren't the norm! We're the fucking freaks of the vampire world! Rose, Edward, Alice, Esme, Tanya, all the Denali clan, they've all made mistakes! You are strong, you are _so_ strong, but until you see that there is nothing I can do! You survived Maria, the Vampire wars of the South! And after _everything_ you've been through, the fact that you are standing here with me now proves that you are _still_ fighting! You're still going, you're still determined to succeed! You're strong enough to do this, just _realise_ that!"

"You still believe in me?"

"I never stopped. I believed in you when we were ten, and you promised me we'd see each other again! I believed in you when we stood at the top of that waterfall and you promised me you wouldn't let me fall! I believed in you when you told me you loved me when you gave me a bunch of half-dead daisies and a dandelion and some flipping weeds for my eighth birthday! And I believe in you now, right here, today, I believe that you are strong enough to beat this!"

"What's the plan?" The smile is a ghost of the one before, the voice still not his old voice, but he's making progress. He takes his sunglasses off, and he hands them to me. "Where to, in our journey?"

"Jaybird," I whisper, and wrap my arms around him. "My brave and handsome hero. We're going to my home. There's somebody you need to meet."

We run, and then we get on a boat, after one pit-stop to get Jasper some brown contact lenses from a fancy dress store.

"You couldn't at least get blue?"

"You want purple eyes? Come on, we're getting on this one."

"Norway? We're going to Norway?"

"Yes. We're going to Norway. I wasn't entirely truthful to you when we first met. I'll explain when we get there."

I look at him whilst we're standing on deck, watching the Norwegian coast approaches. He's not back to being my Jay yet, but I still think I can get him there. I refuse to think about what I'll be forced to do so very soon. Jasper will think it means I don't trust him. But I'm determined to let him make the decision.

JPOV

She lets us in to a peaceful chalet, halfway up a snow-capped mountain. I can tell why she brought it, it's isolated and lonely, and the nearest village is two miles down a very difficult path.

"Welcome to my former home. I lived here for three years, when I first got changed. I built it myself. None of the villagers ever came to see me. They thought I was a ghost."

"Vampire haunt?"

"Couldn't be bothered with the turrets and the drawbridge shit. Too obvious. No, they thought I was some kind of evil spirit. It's been empty ever since. Local folklore has it that I placed a curse on it. I'm something of a legend, apparently."

"So, what did you lie to my family about?"

"James. I always knew for certain that that was what his name was, I didn't kill or injure him during my transformation - and if Emmett did indeed meet James, that scar had fuck all to do with me. His venom was on my clothes because I was apparently rather uncooperative during the biting. I bled out, and apparently quite a bit of venom came with it. I didn't wake up alone - I woke up with a woman named Victoria sitting with me in my New York apartment. She explained what I was, who I was. And then she left. She died, quite recently. She got into a fight with some of Jane's henchmen, and lost. Which is a shame, because it's about time Jane got a good beating. I'm in touch with a vampire named Laurent - James' …well, I'm not very sure what the relationship is. Brothers in arms, I suppose. I heard from him about a year ago, and he told me James was in Finland."

"Lovely. So you do know who your creator is. Why'd you lie?"

"James is impossibly powerful, Jasper. Much, much more powerful than me, and I have powers that you can only imagine. He can change the weather, manipulate the elements. He can control air, water, earth, fire. He can hypnotise vampires. He can manipulate any vampire anywhere into doing exactly what he wants, by planting his thoughts into their heads. He's a fearsome fighter - if he challenges you, you aren't going to walk away from it. He can sense other peoples powers simply by being in a room with them. He has powers I know nothing about. I am a fraction of him."

"But you've never met him - as a vampire, I mean?"

"Nope. And he scares the absolute shit out of me."

"Yeah, Bella, whilst I'm happy for you, and I'm glad, why are we talking about him?"

"Sit down, Jay. Sit down."

She sits me down in the living room, and then she lights a fire.

"Gee, Bells, you going to give up and throw me in?"

"No, don't be daft. I just like fires, is all."

"Pyromaniac vampire - bet that's a first."

"Probably. Look, I told you about James because we're going to go find James. He alone can help you - this is well beyond me."

"Is there nothing you can do?"

"All I can do now is put a bind on your bloodlust."

"You _what_?"

"I have a power - I can literally bind your bloodlust."

"Why didn't you do this before?" I'm so angry, so blindingly furious. She knew, she _knew_ I struggled, and yet she sits here now and she tells me she could've helped all along. "Why the hell didn't you do this straight away, when you knew how much I struggled?"

"Because I couldn't even consider this without there being no other option! It's risky, you don't understand how risky! I wouldn't just bind your bloodlust, I'd bind your mind! You'd become nothing but my shadow, with no option but to do exactly as I said. If you don't trust me completely, there'd be part of your mind screaming at you to fight me, and it's impossible! The voices in your head would drive you mad, and you'd literally burn up. I have used this power only once before, and the vampire I used it on died, because he didn't trust me! I have to know that you trust me."

"I trust you. God, girl, I bloody love you! I'd hope I trusted you!"

"Well, it's nice that you say it, but I need to make sure."

"OK, I'm going to amend that to I'll trust you if you promise you won't make me do something stupid."

"Jay, I need to read your mind."

"You can do that?"

"Yes - but like Aro, I have to be touching the person in question. He sees every thought - but I can search your mind for anything I want, find it in seconds, as opposed to having to sift through hundreds of years to find the thing I want. It irritates the hell out of Aro that I have his power, but better."

"Bet Jane loved you."

"I have my own reasons for hating Jane, and she has her reasons to hate me. I pray for the day when I can kill her myself."

"You going to tell me what she did to you?"

"No. Tomorrow, we'll talk about the bind. Right now, I'm taking you hunting. There are eagles up here, and I'm telling you, you haven't lived till you've tried eagle."

BPOV

Dawn breaks in a red fire of glory. His hair is bronze in the light, his eyes still red and glowing in the pre-dawn.

"You ready, then, my darling?" I ask him, gently. He turns to face me.

"Yes."

"You know I have to -" He catches my hands in his. He kisses my fingertips.

"I know what you have to do. I know why. But I trust you. I know that you would never do anything to hurt me."

So I read his mind, I see his trust. Other things leap out at me, but I deliberately ignore them. All I need to know is whether or not he trusts me. Everything else he can tell me in his own time. I see the trust he has, and as I look, I see the trust I need to see, the fact that he trusts me more than he trusts anyone else.

I reach out my mind and enter his. He doesn't even flinch away from me, his eyes staring into mine. I don't know how it works, I can't describe it. But I wrap my mind around his. He does not fight. His last conscious thought that he can claim as his own is that he loves me.

When I take step back from him, his eyes are blank. Linked mind to mind, I can speak to him without speaking. I'm close to sobbing. Never, ever, did I want to do this to him.

-_Jasper, I want you to put these contact lenses in._

He reaches out a hand. He does as I tell him

_-Take three steps to your right and one forward._

He does so.

_-Follow me. We're going to find James. _

_**A/N: Apologies, I know it's been a while. But I'm back at college AND I have exams this month, so updates will be shaky until they're over. PLEASE review, especially since I have finally revealed two of Bella's many powers, which you've been badgering about! Love you all! **_


	9. Norway

**_A/N: I have a slight error to correct in Chapter 8. I got some very panicked reviews from readers, under the impression that what Bella has done to Jasper is permanent. I apologise, I meant to specify - it isn't a permanent measure. I'm now going to explain the bind a little more fully in this chapter. I honestly am very sorry, it was an oversight, I had every intention of including that bit of information._**

Norway

BPOV

God, it was killing me, seeing his eyes blank and dead through my doing. The fact that it isn't permanent doesn't ease my mind any - I've still done it to him. I can't remember whether or not I told him that. Oh, god, what if I didn't? Did he think I'd done it forever? And he still let me. He still let me do it. I try and call the number I have for Laurent - but it doesn't connect. The number no longer exists, and I have no other way to search for Laurent - other than finding and talking to every single one of my vampire contacts.

The first person I talk to is named Makenna.

"Makenna? It's Marie." I use the alias she knew me under - my human middle name.

"Marie? I thought- I heard you were dead."

"I am."

"No - I heard, well, everyone heard, that Jane had caught you."

"Jane wishes. Listen, I need help. I need to find a vampire named James. He's blond, and his eyes should be like mine."

"I saw a vampire like that, once. Almost fifty years ago. He was very handsome. Very kind, too. He helped me out of a scrape with a nomad named Charles. My mate." A slow smile spreads across her handsome face. "What do you need a brave, handsome hero for, Marie? I always got the impression you could take care of yourself."

"Oh, I can, honey. I don't need him. Jasper does."

"You've found him, then." I look at her sharply. "Marie, Marie, Marie. You were looking for someone when you saw me last time - even if you didn't know it. Used some power on him?"

"Necessary. Listen, where did you last see James?"

"About twenty miles north of here, near a hut in the mountains. He told me he was searching for a beautiful girl. He refused to tell me her name. but it was a long time ago. I doubt he's still around."

"Thank you."

"You'll not stay?"

"Sorry, Makenna. Jasper needs some help, and he needs it as soon as I can get it. I will come by again."

The next on my list is an English nomad we run across in the Swedish forests. He is surly and unhelpful, darting frightened looks in Jasper's direction, and refuses to talk to me.

I scour Norway, and conclude eventually that James is not here. I'm worried about Jasper. So, three nights after we began searching, I take him deep into a wood, and remove the bind. He staggers and gasps as his head clears.

"Bella?"

"I'm sorry."

"Am I me - am I back?"

"Yes. I'm sorry, it's disorientating. Sit down, quickly. Listen, I need to explain this bind to you. It isn't permanent, as you can probably see. I can remove it."

"Don't ever do this unless you're certain there are no humans anywhere near me. I'm weaker - the restraint, it's weaker when I've killed."

"Don't talk like that. Mind over matter. If you think you'll fail, if you think you're weak, you will be weak. I know you're stronger than that."

"You know, Bella, it's nice that you have so much faith in me. But nobody else does."

"Get off the self-pity train, Jay, the look doesn't suit you. Everyone believes in you. When you realise that, you'll get it. No, don't start talking. Let's just go and hunt, OK?"

We go and hunt, and sulk separately that night.

JPOV

She puts the bind on me again the next morning. It's odd, intrusive, but I'm surprised I can still think. I'm still in here, thoughts running on, but I want to obey her, and I don't smell a single human, even when we pass through a town. I wonder if this is normal, me being able to think for myself. I assume it is, seeing as nobody has told me otherwise. I'm not trying to fight it. I trust her. Oddly enough, I can sort of hear her, on the edges of my thoughts. She's getting clearer, too, the longer I spend under the bind. Maybe because part of her mind is wrapped so tightly around mine, parts of her thoughts are bleeding through. When she spoke with Makenna, and the rumour that Jane had taken her down was mentioned, I felt a flare of sheer fury, and cold, hard desire for revenge. I was going to have to ask Bella what exactly it was she had against Jane, or what Jane had done to her.

She left me sitting sort of on the sidelines when she spoke to people. And then we found Laurent. And suddenly, a ripping, shrieking pain tore through my mind, and I fell to my knees, gasping. Bella turned away from Laurent, and was by my side in a movement so lightning quick I didn't even register the transition.

"Jay!"

"Bella!" I gasped, clutching at her blindly.

"You've - the bind - how - what?" She spluttered helplessly. But I realised with a jolt that I could still hear her in my head. She was panicking, asking the same question over and over again, and I could hear her voice even though I knew she wasn't speaking.

"What the hell?"

"You shook my bind off." She sounded awed. "You just threw it off. You should be dead. You should literally be a pile of smoking ashes, because that isn't meant to be possible!"

"But you said -"

"I know what I said." She gaped at me, but I could feel excitement coursing through me - hers. "You must be _phenomenally_ powerful. You must have _incredible_ control to throw my bind to the side and stay in one piece. And you say you struggle!"

"It hurt."

"I bet."

"I'm sorry, but whilst this is a very interesting conversation, I never did get your names."

"Laurent, you've known my name for years. This is Jasper."

"You found a mate."

"Yes. I did. You know why I am here."

"He said he never wanted to see you."

"I know what he said, Laurent, it was only a century ago!" she snaps, eyes flashing. "I am very well aware of what he said. I believe he followed that statement up with some rubbish about how trouble comes in my wake quicker than a mob after a vampire." She drags me to my feet with scary suddenness. "I remember all that."

"He won't see you."

"Yes, he will, you idiot. I was his protégé. And unless he's changed anyone else whilst I've been away, I remain the only vampire who was changed by James."

"He said he wouldn't see you after you aggravated Aro."

"I aggravate a lot of people. This is too open." She glances at Laurent. "I assume you have some form of house around here somewhere."

Laurent looks and feels thoroughly aggravated when he lets us in.

"How do you cope?" he mutters at me. Bella pretends to ignore us both and takes a seat.

"I didn't aggravate Aro, anyway," she announces, looking sharply at us both. "I pissed off Caius, a lot."

"You did aggravate Aro. I don't think any of them will ever be the same again. And Jane -"

"We don't talk about Jane. We're talking about me seeing James. As soon as possible, please, I'm very busy."

"This isn't a social call, is it?"

"No, it isn't. This is life and death."

Bella slipped out alone that night. She made me promise to stay behind. She still wasn't talking about the bind.

BPOV

"Have you told him yet?" She asked me, smirking.

"Don't be stupid. I can't tell him, not yet." I said, glaring.

"You're mates. Had sex with him yet?"

"Well, aren't you just the subtle one. No, we haven't. The opportunity hasn't presented itself."

"And when you do, and it happens?"

"I will cross that bridge when I come to it. But until that time? He doesn't need to know."

"I really hope you know what you're doing, Bella." She sounds anxious now.

"Why do you think I need to see James, Victoria?"

**_A/N: How many of you will spot it, I wonder? I know it's taken a while. Sorry. School, life, and so on. Could I have some reveiwlets, please???_**


	10. Laurent and James

A/N: None of you got it! I don't believe it! There was something MASSIVELY weird about the conversation I closed off the last chappie with and none of you spotted it! I guess what some of you are doing is just reading the chapters one by one as I post them. Not good, especially since there are big gaps between updates. Refresh your memories, you'll get what's wrong with that conversation. Now, on with our chapter!

Laurent and James

JamesPOV

"How the hell did she manage to find me?"

"Same way Bella manages to do everything she does. It's a mystery," he retorts, blandly.

"And this time she brings a friend." I frown. I knew this was coming. Of course I knew. Isabella Swan was my greatest and only mistake. I always swore I'd never change a human. But then Isabella, in New York and fleeing from terror, and yet somehow so brave. And I knew she would be incredible. I knew she would be valuable. When she looked at me and danced with me and wasn't even slightly afraid or wary of me. Part of her probably knew what I was, who I was. So I changed her. I asked Victoria to stay with her, explain who she was.

"She brings her _mate_," he corrects me. "And I think that you know what that means."

"Why now? Why is she picking now, after all these years?"

"She said it was life and death. She won't leave without seeing you, you know that."

"She's too much like me."

"Far too much," he agrees, quietly. I look at him.

"Did she really annoy Caius?"

"I don't know how much, but I expect Caius is waiting for an excuse."

"I will see her, Laurent. But not now. She'll have to be patient."

"And there it is, right there, I'm afraid," says a female voice, light and airy. Isabella Swan walks into the room. "I am not patient." She moves still at human speed, and I sense that she's been practising it for so long, she blends in wonderfully well with the background. "Hello, James."

You would think it'd only been five minutes since she left the room. She flings herself into a chair, the same way she always used to.

"I can wait," she says. "But only for a week."

"And if I don't come back?" I ask, dryly, knowing the answer before she says it.

"I'll come after you."

BPOV

He stomped out in a huff, and Laurent went with him. I took Jasper hunting.

_The watcher took up position in a tree again. The blond boy, alone this time. His mind was racing, questioning the ability he seemed to have to throw off Bella's power. It scared him, yet made him happy. He wasn't weak, then, not if he could do that. Bella had looked so strange after it had happened. And the feelings rolling off her! She was awed, and happy, and pleased - and yet she was scared too. Very scared, he'd been able to feel it, even under everything else. This frightened him - apparently Bella never seemed to feel any fear. The watcher, however, knew precisely what it was that Bella was afraid of…_

"Has he changed?"

"What?" I asked, distracted somewhat by sunlight playing of Jasper's skin.

"James, has he changed?"

"No, he's as pedantic and cynical as ever."

"You're the only one he's ever changed."

"Yeah - he has this crazy-ass idea that anyone he changes would be some kind of monster and too powerful to keep the secrets of the vampire world."

"But you haven't revealed the secrets of the vampires, and as far as I know, you aren't a monster." I look at him.

"Yes, Jasper, I am a monster,. I might not kill, and I might not be a monster like the monsters in the stories, but you cannot possibly ever understand what I have done in my life. I am a terrible person, and I have done terrible things in my life."

"I don't believe that." I smile sadly at him, and he looks me in the eye and repeats. "I don't believe that. I couldn't believe that of you. You are not a monster."

"In so many ways, I am."

"James, you'd damn well better be able to help him."

"Why is he so important to you, Isabella?"

"My name is Bella," I say, through gritted teeth.

"You're stalking me, I'll call you what I want. To repeat my question - why is he so important?"

"He is my mate. And you, James, you of all people, you ought to know how it feels to know your mate suffered."

"Don't say her name!"

"Why not? What are you so scared of?"

"I'm scared of you! Your gift!"

"It doesn't work if I just say their name, James."

"Regardless, she is dead, and I would prefer not to talk about her."

"I want him not to hurt. I want him to be able to fight this off. I love him."

"So you brought him to me."

"There must be something you can do."

"I can't give him control, you know that."

"I know - but can't you help?"

"You can."

"No way. No. I'm not talking to the newborns he killed with Maria."

"You must!"

"I must not." I'm desperate. Not that, it'd kill him, the guilt would kill him. "I can't put him through that."

"He must remember his past. Remind him of the desperation he felt to change, to not be a killer, that he wanted to be different."

"Any other way?"

"No. Only this will work. If you don't do this, eventually Jasper will be unable to defeat the bloodlust. It will take him over, and he will never be able to fight it back."

"For certain?"

"I have seen it."

I ducked out of the tent, but he called me back. Jasper was with me, holding me closely.

"Bella, you can't avoid this. It's good to meet you, Jasper."

"Err - likewise."

"Bella, promise me that -"

"You will not see me again unless I need you. I can't promise things like that, James."

"I suppose not. Well, goodbye, you two. Happy existence."

"James!" He turned back. "I'll kick Jane's ass one day, that I can promise you."

"Thank you."

JPOV

"Forgive me." She said, suddenly.

"What for?"

"For what I have to do next."

"will it help?"

"Yes, it will help - but there's something I must tell you first."

"A power?"

"I can speak to the dead."

"You're doing it right now." But I know, I _know_ that that isn't what she means. Fear curls in my belly.

"No - I can speak to the dead of the dead. When a vampire passes on, some of them get stuck, between here and whatever's next, sort of like unfinished business. I can speak to those vampires who do get stuck."

"We're going to talk to someone."

"We're going to talk to someone named Harry."

"Harry?"

"Harry was one of Maria's newborns. He was also the last vampire you killed the night before you left Maria. And I am so, so sorry for this."

She took steps away from me, and she spoke a name, and she asked him to come forth. His voice filled the air.

"I'm scared. Someone help me. I'm scared of Maria - she'll kill me. And I'm scared of this place. The darkness, Bella, the eternal darkness, with the things moving in the shadows. I want my parents."

"Harry, do you remember Jasper?"

"You're that one who kept us together. The one who could make us feel things."

"I'm sorry."

"I don't blame you. You never seemed like a bad person. You always seemed so depressed, so sad. You could feel us, couldn't you? The fear, and the confusion, and all Maria's rage."

"I don't want to be a monster."

"You aren't. you never were the monster. You were as much afraid of Maria as we were. More, because you were more important. And, actually, I wanted to thank you."

"Why would you? I killed you."

"I know, that's why I have to thank you. You were so trapped, like a caged animal. I got out - and so did you."

"Harry, I think -"

"Yes, I know. The darkness doesn't feel so dark now."

Bella knelt beside me, and her words were a mantra in my head.

"You are not a monster, Jaybird. You are my brave, handsome, strong hero. And you always were. You are not a monster. _You are_ _not a monster."_

_**A/N: Ahem. Well. Let me know if this is all getting a little bit too far-fetched. Because it's going to get worse, and the "it" in the conversation at the end of the last chapter will shortly be revealed. Review, I beg of you, seeing as I just revealed that Bella can talk to the dear departed dead. And 130+ reviews! Ooooh, but I love you guys!** _


	11. Brotherhood and Love

_**A/N: EXTREMELY IMPORTANT, PLEASE READ, VITAL TO UNDERSTANDING STORY.**_

_**Ahem. Hello. Well, I guess there's something you guys should know. As of this chapter, the title of this story is going to take on a different meaning.**_

_**I did NOT plan for this at the start, but I had the most crazy, weird-ass idea, which I decided that will work. It will still be focussed on Bella and Jasper, and partially on Jasper issues with self-control and with his temper, which, let's face it, isn't that great. HOWEVER, in very few chapters, Isabella Marie Swan is going to have a LOT of explaining to do. She will have to "teach" the Cullen's something, as a whole, not just Jasper. Still going to be self-control issues, but the finale of this story will be very relevant to Jasper's self-control and anger issues.**_

_**Now, on with the story. Sorry to put a break in your reading.**_

Brotherhood and Love

JPOV

The days that followed Harry were longer than they usually seemed. Bella hadn't mentioned returning to the Cullens, and I didn't feel ready yet. There was so much I had to process, contend with. Bella - my Bella, could do impossible things, terrifying things, things that should never be, under any circumstances. But Bella had them. And how could I do what every single instinct in my body was screaming to do - how could I run? How could I leave her, although some instinct told me that if I didn't, something would happen, and that something could bring no good. The more she revealed to me, the more I wondered what she was holding back, what she was not telling me. What she hid from me.

We spent two weeks in Bella's mountain cabin back in Norway. She did not speak about Harry, her gift, or the Cullens. We hunted together regularly, eagle, fox, wolf, bear. Mountain creatures, creatures that would not be missed. She climbed to the top of the highest peak and brought me back mountain poppy, wild flowers that she never named, and, once, a handful of snow. She took me with her to eagle's nests, showing me strange blue-grey eggs, and showed me a sunset from a peak impossible to any human. She swam with me in rivers, and for two whole weeks, it was almost like we were ten years old again, happy and carefree, when vampires and myth existed only in stories and our imagination.

She waited for me to bring it all up.

"Bella."

"Yes?"

"We have to talk." She looked at me. We were lying on the banks of a river, watching the sun set. She nodded, but didn't say anything. "You can speak to the dead." She nodded. I got the feeling she wouldn't interrupt until I asked her to, and I was grateful. "So you brought a vampire that I killed forth, or whatever, and you let me speak to him. And he told me that he believed that I wasn't a monster. And while he spoke to me, I could feel that night, the night I left."

"What did you feel?"

"Desperation. I didn't want to do all that any more. I didn't want to spend my days killing, and fighting, and drinking from humans. I didn't want to kill any longer. I was so desperate to get away, so determined. I needed to be in control of my own life, just for once. I can' explain it, I can't explain why I needed it so badly. All I knew was that that Jasper wasn't who I wanted to be. That Jasper was the bad Jasper, and I knew that the Jasper I used to be was still there. I wanted to save him - and thereby save myself. I was done with the whole human killing thing, done with the fighting. I'd seen too much death - first in the civil war, and then as a vampire, fighting with Maria. But even after I escaped, I felt that the task I'd set myself was far too big. I never thought I would ever get away with it."

"But you just said it! You so badly want to fight, but you don't believe you can! Jasper, mind over matter! You want to fight it, so believe you can. Newborn bloodlust is not everything we've ever thought - it's only bad if you think it will be. Everyone around you has faith in you - especially Carlisle, and especially me. And Esme, Esme believes in you. She would back you until the end of time itself, because to her, you are her son, and she knows how strong you are. You threw aside my bind, and that should have killed you. What more proof do you need?"

"I don't know, I don't know. But I think I can keep trying." I look at her.

"This is nothing like the end of the road, Jay, you do know that? This is a step on it, a huge step, but there is still a long way to go. I am going to go that way with you, but so much of it will be up to you, and you've got to be ready to fight."

"Bella, can we go home?"

"Yes. We'll go to the airport tonight - I'm sure we'll get a flight to somewhere in the USA."

We're at the airport before I think to ask her where the Cullens are. I know they will have left Fork's, but I'm pretty sure she never asked where they'd be. We're sitting in the plane, waiting for take-off. She's humming randomly, and fiddling with her seatbelt, acting like she's struggling with it, before staring happily out of the window, shifting in her seat.

"Bella, where exactly is everyone?"

"Hmm? Oh, right. They're in Anchorage."

"Why the hell are we going to Toronto, and how do you know that?"

"Called Alice from the bathroom. She's expecting us."

"You called Alice? I would have thought she'd've been on the phone already."

"No, Alice hasn't been able to see us. It isn't time for Alice to know everything just yet."

"Are you going to tell them about the whole speaking to the departed thing?" I drop my voice so low that she will be the only one who hears it

"Perhaps. I don't know."

Esme slams into me. Alice is looking sad and somehow sympathetic. Has something happened? Emmett leans over to take Bella's bag. Edward, Rose and Carlisle are missing. Emmett and Alice are talking to Bella, loud enough for me to hear, but not for surrounding passengers. They seem to know I would never be able to get away from Esme.

"Jasper and you are from a foster home in Phoenix." Cover story then. "You were locked up by your sadistic foster family. Esme and Carlisle are your new foster parents. We'll tell you the rest later, just look sad." Bella looks now like a rabbit in headlights. Esme lets me go, and then snatches up Bella. She appears to be mumbling thank you repeatedly. Emmett claps me on the back, and I look suitably worried by this display.

"Emmett!" Alice chastises. "You'll scare him! I'm Alice, this is Emmett. You know Esme."

"Uh-huh."

In the car, it's a different story.

"Oh, my God, I have missed you!" Alice shrieks. "Are you both OK? I couldn't see you! I didn't know if something terrible had happened!"

"Yeah, sorry about that," Bella says, from the front seat.

"We're fine, Aly, honestly. You knew that, because Bella called you."

"I know, I know, but still. I couldn't relax until I'd seen you."

"How come Edward, Rose and Carlisle were missing?"

"Oh, cover story. We didn't want to swamp the poor children."

"So where are they?"

"At home, and dying to see you. I have never seen Carlisle so edgy. He keeps pacing his study." Esme breaks in, from the drivers seat.

"What is the story?"

"Oh, Edward and Emmett are brother's from Carolina, and they were adopted as babies. Rose is Esme's niece, and I am Carlisle's biological daughter from a previous marriage. He met Esme when I was a baby, and my mom never wanted to know. They adopted Edward and Emmett after, then Rose came. You two are unrelated, but fostered separately by the same couple, who mis-treated you. You're quite screwed up, and together. Oh, and Jasper, you've got behavioural issues."

"Excuse me?"

"Oh, nothing major, just ADHD."

"Great. I have to be hyper-active. We at high school?"

"Yeah. Emmett and Rose are seniors, so's Bella. It works because she looks older than you, Jasper, live with it. We're juniors. Carlisle works at the hospital, and is as awesome as ever. Esme here is an interior designer. Jasper, you are Jasper Whitlock, Bella, you're Bella Masen-Swan, Emmett and Edward are McCarty, Rose is Hale and obviously, I am Cullen. Got all that?"

"Err -"

"Don't worry. Jasper, you have quite serious ADHD, so you have to be quite seriously disruptive."

"Why does he have ADHD?" Bella asks.

"Give him a reason to constantly be tense and twitchy."

Carlisle hugs us both, relief obvious on his face. Edward slaps me on the back. Rose looks pleased to see us, even Bella.

"Bella, you brought him home." Her voice is level, but Bella hears something else. She holds her arms out, and Rose goes into the hug.

"I seem to remember promising you faithfully that I would."

"I know, I know. Thank you."

We escape thankfully into our room. We have our own room. Bella's bed from the old house is here, along with all our things. She picks up a photograph from the mantel piece. It's faded, sepia toned, and clearly very, very old. It's us, I realise with a jolt. The ten year old versions of us, sitting on a swing in a porch somewhere. Then I realise that it's her porch, her swing. We're smiling, and sitting a respectable distance apart. You can see her little button boots, her feet miles from the floor. Her hair is down.

"Oh my God," I whisper.

"We didn't go through your boxes or anything," Alice says softly from the door. "It fell out of one of Bella's books. I hope it's OK that we put it up, we just couldn't resist."

"It's OK." Bella hasn't moved. Alice slips away, closing the door. The front door shuts softly, and I know they've all gone out. "Are you alright?"

"You look so young."

"So do you." I take the photograph from her hands, and set it down on the mantelpiece. "I love you."

I carry her over the bed, and set her down on it. I kiss her, slowly, gently, and her hands tangle themselves in my hair. I make love to her there, slowly, sweetly, feeling myself fill her. She scratches down my back, bites my earlobe very, very gently, and she feels so delicious. And when I shout her name, and she shouts mine, I could almost swear she was nearly crying. We lie and kiss for a long time after that, making love. When the others come back, hours later, we still don't stop staring at each other.

"We ought go," Bella sighs, breath caressing my lips. I kiss her longer, harder, more possessive and commanding. She moans and arches into my hand, that has found it's way to the spot between her legs that has made her scream so many times so far.

But I let her go, let her dress, telling myself that it's only for a while - and tonight, when the reunion is done, we can be together again.

And this time, I know we have eternity.

**_A/N: Before you start, camera's had been invented by 1851. It's not much of a lemon, but there will be more! Please review?! also, as much as it sounds like it, that is not the end, i promise!_**


	12. Ceremonies and Tours

**_Ceremonies and Tours_**

BPOV

He was still following me. He'd been following me around all day. Several times he'd tried to say something, then seemed to give up and slip away, only to return shortly afterwards. I took it until twilight then swung at him.

"Jasper! For God's sake, will you _quit_ following me!"

"Sorry, sorry!" Tempers were defiantly frayed. It'd been sunny for four days, and we were all tired of the house.

"What do you want? It'd better be important!"

"Well, I, well, um -"

"Jasper!" I screamed. Everyone was watching. Jasper and I never, ever argue. "Spit it out, or stay away from me! But quit stalking me! God!"

"Sorry," he muttered again, slipping his hand into his pocket. "I mostly wanted to ask you something."

"And it's taken all day?!"

"Hey, kids, that's enough." Carlisle broke in, sternly. "Jasper, if you need some quiet time with Bella -"

"Yes, I do."

"Your bedroom is upstairs."

"You'll listen!"

"Then let's go outside," I say, and I grab his hand. "We can go into the forest."

I let him go as soon as we're far enough from the house that they won't listen.

"I've been practising this for a century - what I'd say on a day like today," he says, abruptly. "How I'd start. I've been looking for the opportunity all day."

"Opportunity for what?" I say, mystified.

"I'm not going to get this right, so I hope you'll forgive me."

He goes down onto one knee.

My mouth drops open.

And then he says the words.

"I can't describe what you've done to me, both recently and in the past. I can't thank you enough for how much you've done for me. I won't journey into corny - you'll remember this forever, I hope, and I want it to be good. I'm not worth you, but I'm hoping you'll have me anyway." The ring is perfect. Well, rings. His and her's white gold and diamond bands, very simple, but classy and they have a vintage look to them. "I got them made," he says, quietly, watching my face. "I thought I'd like to wear an engagement ring with you, not just a wedding band. I hope it fits." He waits a little longer. "Oh, God, Bella, say something."

"Yes. Oh my God, yes!"

JPOV

I can't believe it, not at first. Had I been human, my heart would have pounded right out of my chest. I manage to get the ring on her finger, and then she holds her hand out. I hand her mine, a match of hers, only without the large central diamond, and she puts it on my fourth finger. I knew the ring would suit her, but how _well_ it suits her is incredible. It suits Bella to the ground - simple, and yet deceptive. I had her band engraved with my name, and my band with her name. Simple on the surface, a whole lot more when you look a little further. She gazes at our hands for a long time, the matching white gold flashing in the sunlight. Bella doesn't wear a whole lot of jewellery, and the little she does wear is either silver or white gold, and they are classic, understated pieces.

We don't say anything when we get back to the house. We don't have to. Alice leaps for Bella.

"Let me see it, immediately!" Bella relents, and shows her the ring. "And yours, young man!"

"I'm half a century older than you, Alice."

"Whatever, just show me the damn ring!"

"Congratulations." Esme folds Bella in an embrace, and Carlisle smiles at me, before hugging me close. "It's lovely - and we have a new wedding to plan!"

"You've planned lots of weddings!" Bella protests, lightly. "Rose and Emmett have been married at least five times!"

"But this a totally new couple - and a totally new theme!" Alice shrieks, and I just know what's coming next. "Can I do your wedding?!"

"_Theme_?" Bella asks, nervously. "What theme?"

"The 1850's! I am centring this wedding around your personal timeline- the dress, the music, the rings, which are awesome, Jasper, and I never did believe you could do it, and everything!"

"Am I scared?" Bella asks, plaintively.

"You'll never have to actually get involved," Rose says, smiling. "In fact, don't try. You'll get hurt. Let Alice have her fun. You and Jasper merely appear promptly for fittings and so on."

We stare at each other for a long time when we finally get to be alone.

"I was thinking of making Emmett page boy," I snicker.

"Go for it. Who are you going to ask to be your best man?" she asks, laughing.

"Carlisle, probably."

"I was going to ask Edward to do the music. I thought he could play the piano." I don't understand the look that crosses her face, and I don't understand the feelings I get. Pride, and regret. But she swiftly changes the subject. "I wanted to ask Esme to be my maid of honour, and have Alice and Rose as bridesmaids."

"Who's giving you away?" Her face falls, and suddenly I wish I'd never asked her.

"I don't know," she whispers, and suddenly she's so sad. "I never imagined a wedding when Daddy wasn't there." One hundred and forty-seven years later, and still she calls him Daddy. She was always such a daddy's girl, and he, in return, treated her like his princess. He spoilt her rotten. I never did find out what happened to them.

"Bella, what happened to them?"

"They died. They died the year before I was changed. They were in the wrong place at the wrong time, you see, and it was quite horrible. They were shot - the soldiers believed they were spies. I was all alone - I think that might be why I fell for James so quickly. He took such good care of me." She is quiet for a long time then, and I sense that she is thinking. "Who shall perform the ceremony?"

"Oh." I am brought up short. I hadn't thought about that.

"Well, if Alice is planning, she can plan that too."

I daren't ask her again who she'll ask to give her away. I don't find out until a week later that she wrote to James to ask him. He wrote back, telling her he was honoured and privileged - but he couldn't possibly. He said it was her new life now - and she didn't need him hanging around like a ghost of the old one. Oddly, there was an enquiry about Edward in the letter. I never told her I'd found it, and she either never knew, or never worried that I had read it. She broaches the subject with me.

"Jasper, we need to talk about who's giving me away." Alice is a demon of plans and sketches. I happen to know that Bella's wedding dress is in the stages of being designed. She gave up on the 1850's, and instead opted for a "vintage" wedding. I dread to think what she's planning for me.

"OK."

"I'm going to ask Carlisle, if you don't mind. I know you were considering him as your best man -"

"No, don't worry. I can always ask Emmett - at least the speech will be amusing."

"Are you sure you don't mind?"

"Positive. I sort of guessed you'd ask him."

Alice keeps us busy for days afterwards. She wants us to get married on October 31st - I think it's meant to be an inside joke. We've fitted in here unbelievably well. We do get avoided a bit by the kids at school, but we've purposefully kept our distance. But Carlisle and Esme have been universally welcomed, possibly because Carlisle is being a fantastic doctor. Alice hauls Bella away for fittings and gossip. I overhear her asking Carlisle and Esme to take two positions of honour at our wedding.

"Esme, Carlisle, may I speak to you?"

"Of course you can, my dear," Esme says, warmly. I get the feeling she was so desperate to see me find my mate, she would have welcomed Bella as her daughter if she'd had webbed feet and been a non-vegetarian.

"Jasper and I wanted to ask you to do something at our wedding." She takes a deep breath. "I consider you family. Which is why I'd love it if Esme would be my maid of honour, and if Carlisle would give me away."

"I would be honoured, Bella," Carlisle says, quietly. "That would be wonderful. Thank you."

"Of course, Bella, that'd be wonderful!" Esme shrieked.

Emmett agreed to be best man, and Edward consented to play the piano. Rose set herself to finding bridesmaid dresses. And Bella and I spent more time than ever together.

Until the day my life changed forever.

I walked into our bedroom, and she was standing in front of the fireplace, where flames crackled merrily. She had her back to me, and seemed to be holding herself upright using the mantel piece. I could see her shaking. She was cradling her belly with one hand.

"No, no, no, no…" She kept on and on repeating. I was beside her in a second. She looked into my eyes like she barely knew me.

"Bella, what's wrong?" I cried, sharply. "Shall I call Carlisle?" I knew Carlisle was at work, the other's were hunting- it was Saturday.

"No!" She cried, and grabbed my arms. "You mustn't call _anybody_!"

"Tell me what's wrong!" She looked up at me, very, very slowly.

"I'm pregnant," she whispered.

**_A/N: *Coughs* Well, um, what do you think? I promise it will all make sense! Oh, please, I beg you review!_**

**_Also, what colour do you want the bridesmaid dresses to be? NOT pink._**

**_Also, I'm putting a link on my profile for Bella and Jasper's engagement rings : ) Let me know what you think of them!_**


	13. Secrets and Dresses

_**A/N: I have to say it guys, I was expecting a more outraged reaction, that'd have me cowering a corner. I'm afraid this won't make lots of sense if you keep reading it chapter by chapter as I put them up - every so often, I would recommend you read the whole thing, and defiantly when I've finished it, to read it start to finish, because I'm developing a little sub-plot! Now, I'm going to keep this short, because I guess that you want to get back to the action! **_

_**PS: Look out for the speeches!**_

Secrets and Dresses

JPOV

"What do you mean, pregnant?! How can you be pregnant?" She shrugs helplessly. And in that second she looks so vulnerable and small, I almost think she's human and a child again.

"I don't know how it works. I don't know how it happens."

"Wait, so this has happened before?"

"Yes," she whispers. "Once. I had a little boy."

"Did he survive?"

"Yes. Jay, sit down, please. I know I have a lot of explaining to do."

"Start from the beginning. Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure. I couldn't do a test - but I feel sick and almost like I've eaten too much."

"But this isn't possible. Vampire's can't get pregnant."

"We shouldn't be able to, that's true. Before I was changed, I was due a period. I think, that, somehow, I carried that into this life. Perhaps I was extraordinarily fertile, and it intensified. But you need to listen. Very, very soon, my body will change - I will be visibly pregnant. We have to go away. I cannot stay here. It would kill Rose, and it would be awkward, to say the least."

"Why don't you want to tell them anything?"

"And if Aro finds out?" she cries, holding my hands. "Do you have any idea what he'd do?"

"Your boy - who was his father? Where is he now? Are your children vampires?"

"I can't tell you who the father was. I don't know where he is now. I left him in an orphanage when he was a baby - and I did that to keep him safe. My child was able to pass for mortal - he had beating heart, and blood within his veins. But my son is immortal - and he would have stopped aging at twenty one, the age I was changed at."

"How do you know all this?"

"James explained it to me. I went to him, panicking. He'd seen it. He, like Alice, can see the future, and he told me everything I needed to know. I think he wasn't pleased to see me because he thought I was pregnant again." I hear the other's voices.

"Will Alice have seen -"

"No."

BPOV

Alice was arranging my dress. I had been quiet all day, preoccupied, scared. We'd announced our intention of a world tour - we would be away nine months. Although Jasper had wanted to try and keep the child, I insisted. We couldn't. It wouldn't be possible.

"Bella, are you alright?" Alice broke my train of thought. "You've been so quiet all day."

"I was just wishing my parents had seen this," I said, quietly.

"They can - any time they want. And I bet they're proud of you, beautiful. Look at you - marrying a decent man, and settling down."

"It's only taken a century and a half."

"You look wonderful. And Jasper is a very lucky man."

"Thank you, Alice. For all of this."

She's done a wonderful job. She looks so beautiful in the bridesmaid dress Rose picked out, and more to the point, she found my perfect dress. It's pure white, strapless and the silk body is sheathed perfectly in lace. She's dressed my hair with flowers. I look like I have stepped out of the nineteen-fifties. The bridesmaid dresses are silver and grey, delicate cap-sleeved numbers. They match our engagement rings. I haven't seen Jasper since last night - when the boys took him out for a bachelor party. Alice is already in her dress.

"Are they back yet?"

"Yes, they're back," Rose smiles, coming in. "And Edward is taking his place at the piano."

"You look beautiful, Bella," Carlisle says, coming in with Esme on his arm.

"You all do," I choke, wanting to cry. I sob dryly.

"Don't you dare," Esme says, pointing at me sternly. "This is the happiest day of your life!"

"I know," I wail. "Sorry."

"Oh, sweetheart."

"People, we don't have time for this now," Rose laughs. "Edward is beginning to play. The town is waiting for Esme and Carlisle's troubled son to finally sort himself out."

I take one very deep breath, and slip my arm through Carlisle's. I am determined not to look at anyone.

"You look stunning." I walk down the stairs, and I manage not to fall. Edward's playing hitches slightly, before continuing. I have to peek then. Alice is glaring at him. And every single person in the room is staring at me. Jasper. Jasper is waiting at the end of the aisle, and he's just staring.

I can't remember what the vicar said. I can't remember what I said. I remember staring at Jasper for the whole thing, and murmuring the words "I do" twice - once for him, and once for everyone else.

And I defiantly remember him sweeping me off my feet and carrying me back down the aisle. We have a little reception, during which Emmett makes his best man speech. None of us eat, discreetly slipping food into bags under the table.

"I have known Jasper," Emmett begins, looking very serious, "for just a little time, and yet I feel as though I have known him for years. Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen - I must admit to being rather nervous about today's speech. And as it's a family occasion, the last thing I want to do is cause offence by talking in too much detail about Jasper's colourful past. I therefore decided to edit out anything that might upsetting to anyone present. So thank you very much, ladies and gentlemen, and goodnight. I would like to start by thanking Jasper on behalf of the bridesmaids for his kind comments and echo the fact that they look wonderful and performed their role fantastically well, despite the inevitable and healthy rivalry that can sometimes occur. In fact, just before the service I overheard a furious sisterly argument about who was going to be first to dance with the best man. Understandable, I thought - until I got closer and heard them saying, 'You!', 'no, you!' Is it actually possible to be more demeaned - I think that the shatter of my hitherto immense ego, to match my manly muscles, was perhaps audible at the back of the room where Carlisle was hiding from Alice as he has torn his suit jacket. There was a slightly tense moment when Bella and Jasper did threaten to make me pageboy - I said I would, but Rose would get far too excited. I won't keep you long, if only to reflect Jasper himself better, as he won't be keeping Bella long tonight." General laughter runs through the audience. Emmett grins. "I do think that it is safe to say that at a wedding with so many beautiful women, only the bride manages to eclipse all, if only because she is wearing a garden." Alice puts her head on the table. "Edward, I think that on behalf of bride and groom, you are owed a thank you for your playing today, although there are a few problems with having a fit part way through the wedding march when you see the bride - always assuming it was a fit, and nothing more sinister. The day Jasper hatched - oh, sorry, that should have been born, there - the day Jasper hatched out, I'm sure Bella, being older, would have felt a little jolt of something, if only because she knew her soul mate had been born, and that she'd now have to put up with him. When Jasper proposed to Bella, he actually had two engagement rings - I did question whether he was going to move in on Rose if Bella said no, and needed different rings in case Bella became suspicious. I would like to ask you all now, to raise your glasses to the new Mrs Whitlock and wish Jasper all the best luck with married life - because god knows, he will need it."

Jasper's speech was something else.

"When I first met my beautiful new bride, we were babies. We grew up together, and when we were eight, I gave her some daisies for her birthday. When we were ten, we were split up - and when I saw her again, she got me through some of the scariest, darkest places I have ever been in. Why she agreed to put up with me, I shall never know. But in agreeing to marry me, she has made me the happiest man on earth, and I don't believe that I could ever regret a single moment that I have had and will have with her. There's nothing to say that will ever tell her enough - but I needed to tell you that I loved you."

Carlisle broke in when Jasper sat back down. I was so preoccupied with him. I kissed him, and a round of applause interrupted.

"Whilst I may not be Bella's blood father, having the honour and the privilege to walk her down the aisle today has been wonderful. Even in the short time Bella has been with us, I have come to regard her as my daughter, and nothing gives me more happiness than to see two of the most important people to me in the world happily married and ready to begin married life. Ladies and gentlemen, Father, I would like you all to please raise your glasses to Isabella and Jasper."

Jasper holds me on the dance floor like I'm made of glass, and could shatter any moment.

"Glad it's over?"

"Very," I sigh, laying my head on his chest.

"You look unbelievable, you know," he whispers to me. "Everyone was staring at you. I was quite jealous. That wedding room looked like a scene from a horror movie."

"There were more than enough vampires present," I laugh.

"Bella, I demand that you allow me to dance with your husband for a while," Esme laughs. "And Carlisle wants to claim his dance."

"Of course, Esme. I'll get you back later," I promise Jasper.

I am whirled around the dance floor with startling rapidity. Soon, I am back in Jasper's arms, and all too soon, Alice snatches me away to get into a travelling outfit.

And then we're gone and he puts his arms around me from behind. His hands rest very lightly on my belly.

"Will I be able to feel the heart beat?"

"Yes," I sigh, putting my own hands over his. "Soon, we'll be able to hear a heart beat, and I will feel the baby kick."

"OK," he says, and rests his chin on my head. The boat moves silently out into the Atlantic, and I get ready to change his life forever.

_**A/N: Sorry for the cliffy at the end of the last chapter. I resolved it as soon as I could. Well, how about dropping a review my way? Let me know what you thought of Emmett's best man speech! **_

_**Also, I'm putting links on my profile for Bella's wedding dress, and the bridesmaid dress. Also the wedding rings, although they weren't exactly described. **_


	14. Arguments

_**A/N: Is it safe to emerge from where I have been hiding from various people's wrath and general fury? It is? Wonderful. Sorry! I know I left an awful lot unanswered at the end of the last chapter. But that was only because I am going to take up a fair few chapters by answering various questions about the pregnancy, especially why they can't keep the baby. So, here goes with chapter fourteen. By the way, 167 reviews, nice : ) Thanks guys, I love you!**_

Arguments

BPOV

We have been over this again and again, and yet still he asks questions, still he asks me _why_. Does he honestly think that I am doing this because I _want_ to? Does he think that I don't _care_? Does he really think that _knowing_ what I _have_ to do isn't going to kill me just that bit more inside? How the hell did it come to this, us standing in a hotel room, screaming at each other, his fists clenched, me throwing clothes into a suitcase, screaming insults at each other? How did this happen?

"Just tell me why!" he bellows, frustration written on his face.

"I have told you why, over and over again!" I scream back, tired of this argument.

"You've told me fuck all, Bella, and I have aright to -"

"Don't even think about going down that route! You think I don't know what's best?"

"What makes you the authority? Just because you've done this before?"

"Yes, actually! Believe it or not, I do know -"

"You know nothing! You left your baby on the steps of some orphanage, because you were to selfish to bother with him!"

"Don't you dare, don't you _dare _accuse me of being selfish! I did what I did because I had no other choice! I didn't look old enough to have a baby with me! When I had him, when I gave birth, I was alone, and it was 1901, for Christ's sake! They would have taken him from me anyway, I just did what I had to do!"

"So because you were _scared_, you left a _baby_ -"

"I didn't know how he'd turn out! He could have inherited any of my powers! If I raised him knowing about our world, he wouldn't have been controlled!"

"He was _mortal_, Bella, or so you say! Or is everything you say one massive lie?"

"Oh, fuck you, Jasper, I don't need this right now!"

"This is my child too! I want a say in what happens to him or her!"

"Well then, that's too fucking bad, isn't it, because just for once, we're going to have to do this my way!"

"We do everything your way, Bella! You won't even tell me why we're going to just abandon our baby!"

"We aren't going to abandon the baby, we are going to leave baby in the care of people who can take care of it!"

"It?! That's our child to you? It? And however much you sugar coat this, it isn't going to mean we aren't abandoning our child! And tell me why, damnit, stop evading the fucking question!" "I have fucking well told you why!"

"No, you haven't, Bella, you spouted some shit about it being best! This isn't best, we should be keeping this child!"

"And how do you think you'll cope?" I scream - well aware that I'm hitting below the belt. "Our child will be mortal, Jasper, and that means baby will have beating heart and pulsing blood, and baby will smell so good, Jasper, and how do you think that you'll deal with that?"

There is a very long, very cold silence. I'm breathing hard, glaring at him, as he glares right back. When he speaks again, his voice is a venomous hiss.

"No, Bella. No. Don't you dare hold that over me. You know I'm better, you _know_ I'm better at control. I would never hurt my child."

"This isn't going to be some cute and giggly pretty baby, with lovely curly hair and little bootees, Jasper! This is going to be a child who will inherit at least one of my powers, and I don't have any way of knowing to what degree! James warned me that if I raised the child as a vampire, there would be no way to control it! And do I need to get into what Aro would do with an immortal child who cannot die, stops aging at twenty-one and has some power which I don't know about? Aro is looking for an excuse to kill me!"

"Are you asking me to choose?"

"What do you mean, choose?"

"Are you asking me to choose between having my child with us - or keeping you safe and with me?"

"I'm not _asking_ you to choose. I'm _telling _you what we have to do. Aro would treat our baby as an experiment - and I don't know what sort! I don't know if our baby would survive! And I am _begging_ you not to make me watch my baby suffer!"

"It's my baby too," he whispers, looking at me. He doesn't look angry now. He looks so terribly defeated.

"I know, Jay, I know. I know that. And if I had any other choice, do you think I'd be planning this? My God, no! if there was any way, _any other way_, I would take it!"

"But it's our child," he whispers, helplessly, looking at me. "Our child, and you're asking me to give up everything I ever wanted to have with you. You're asking me to give up the dream that I never thought would I would ever get to have with you. And now that it's suddenly somehow possible, you are asking me to walk away from it?"

"We both have to," I say back, sitting on the bed suddenly. I wrap my arms around my tummy. He crawls up behind me, and I lean back into his chest. He doesn't put his arms around me, but he doesn't push me away, either. "Do you hate me very much?"

JPOV

I can hear the heartbreak in her voice even through the fury. But it's the vulnerability and fear and sadness in her voice as she asks me if I hate her that screws me up inside. Do I really think she'd be doing this if she had a choice?

"Do you hate me very much?"

"I don't hate you," I sigh. But I still can't bring myself to hug her.

"But you don't like me."

"Not right now, no," I admit, truthfully. "I always promised I'd never lie to you." I back off from her, and her shoulders slump. She pats her tummy. There's no bump yet. I wonder how I'll cope when one does develop. When it _looks_ visibly real.

"I deserve that," she murmurs. She looks up at me. I know the expression. If she was ten and human, her eyes would be brimming with tears, tears she didn't want me to see, but couldn't stop. "I'll get another room tonight."

"We can ignore each other in here."

"But you don't want to look at me," she whispers. Can she read my mind? I'm finding it a struggle being in the same room at all. Looking at her makes me angry, sad and bitterly upset all at the same time. "I'll get another room. We can carry on tomorrow, or not. We'll talk."

"Is there anything left to talk about?"

"There's always something left to talk about, Jay. Always."

She got some other room, and we spent that night apart. I imagined her reading maybe, or watching the telly, with the sound turned really low, so humans wouldn't be bothered by it, but she'd hear it. I spent the night fully dressed and sitting on what should have been our bed staring at the wall. I didn't so much as twitch all night. I heard her moving occasionally.

But I never heard the important bit.

When I went to see her the next morning, I knocked and waited, like a guest would. And when I knocked, my rings flashed. The engagement ring I'd insisted upon wearing because I wanted everyone to know how happy I was - and the wedding ring she'd put on my hand. Her voice saying her vows is clearer than it was on the day.

_I, Isabella Marie Swan, take thee, Jasper Adam Whitlock, to be my lawful wedded husband. To have and to hold, for now and for forever, no matter what may come between us. I love you - and I will continue to do so until the eternal darkness comes for me. _

I knocked again, frowning. Why wasn't she answering the damn door? If she was showering, I'd not only be able to hear the shower, but her voice, telling me to wait. I try the door, and it isn't locked. I go in. I see the note straight away, and my heart drops a mile.

_My darling Jaybird_

_I'm so sorry. I promised not three weeks ago that I would stay by your side forever - but I can't hurt you like this. I'm being utterly selfish. I have gone away, to have this baby and do what is ultimately best for our baby - not for me. I am not doing this to hurt you. I love you, I love you with everything there is left of my twisted, blackened heart. You think I am a monster, and you are right. I am such a terrible person, and as everything I do hurts you, I shall never do anything again. When I have had this baby, I will go to Volterra. It won't take much to irritate Jane. You can move on. I have caused you so much hurt, and words will never be enough to apologise. I told you once when we were children that if I ever hurt you, it would be my final act - and now I intend to keep my promise. Go back to the Cullen's, go back to them and keep safe. They were your family. In a hundred years or so, I will simply be a footnote in your own personal history. You're so much stronger than you believe, and I know that you will be able to survive without me. I, however, would not be able to survive without you, and I know that if I stay with you, make you watch this pregnancy and then leave our child with strangers, you would leave. Perhaps not right away. But one day, maybe a hundred years from now, you would go. You wouldn't be able to look at my face again, and I would never be able look in your eyes without terrible guilt. There's so much left for you to learn - and maybe one day you'll find someone worthy of you to teach it to you. _

_Goodbye, my darling, darling love._

_Angel. _

My hands shake as I pick up the tiny box on the table with the note. I already know what is inside - but the sight of her rings still makes my knees give way.

**_A/N: Oh, God, please review. i'm quite, quite scared of reactions, and I'm desperate to know what you think. i love you all, although you may no longer love me. It isn't finished yet!_**


	15. The Final Prophecy

_**A/N: I am cowering in terror, hiding from my previously happy and contended readers. Oh, God, please don't kill me, or abandon me in disgust! I cannot believe that a story I have written has evoked such a terrible reaction in people! I really hope that that means you like the story, as opposed to despise it. Now, on with the next chapter, before I get shot or something equally terrible.**_

_**PS: Wow, some of you seriously hate Bella! Mind you, she's starting to get on my nerves just a tad. But, whoa, guys, back up just a little bit! Never have I received such impassioned reviews. Even though you despise her, please stick by the story, if only to support poor Jasper!**_

_**The Final Prophecy**_

JPOV

I don't know how long I sat there for. Her note in one hand, and her wedding and engagement rings in the other. All sorts of questions were hurtling through my mind. Why had she left? Was this my fault? Was it her fault? Who said what that meant she felt that this was all she could do? And at the back of my mind was the niggling question: would it be such a terrible thing if I never saw her again?

Almost as soon as I'd thought it, I was jolted back. No. I knew that I couldn't live without Bella. If she died, I would follow her. Bella was doing what she was doing to keep our baby safe: safe from Aro, safe from Jane, safe from all the Volturi and everything they might do. One more mortal would not bother them. Their gaze would travel over my baby and my wife, and they would both be safe. And I was a vampire, for goodness sake. I would still be able to watch my child grow - we both would. It mightn't have been possible for Bella in 1901, but I would be able to watch over my baby, watch our child grow up - safe from this terrible world. Did I truly want a child of mine growing up amidst all this? It is not the life I would have chosen, it is not the life Bella would have chosen for herself. Is it then something I have the right to inflict upon a child, who cannot choose?

There had to be a way to find her. I go to find the manager.

"Excuse me, sir? My name is Jasper Whitlock. I checked in last night with my wife, Bella. She got another room - we had an argument. But she's gone, in the night, she's gone - did anybody see her leave? Is there a night clerk I could speak to? What time did she check out?"

"What did she look like?"

"She was beautiful. So beautiful. She had very long dark brown hair. Amber eyes. Pale."

"She checked out at three-thirty this morning. We don't normally allow it - but she was very persuasive." He turns to the mail slots behind him. "Someone left an envelope for you. Do you have ID?" I dig my passport out of my packed bag. Who the hell is leaving me letters? He hands me the plain white envelope, marked only with my name and my room number. It is not Bella's handwriting.

_Jasper -_

_It's James. I have seen what Bella is planning, and I have seen what you will do as a consequence. I have seen that she is pregnant, and I have guessed that she is planning on leaving her child behind again. We need to speak. I will wait all today outside this hotel. You shall know me._

_James._

He's sitting on a bench, face tilted back to the clouds that veil the sun.

"We need a place to talk alone, where we will not be overheard." We go out of town, running together down alleys and side-streets, knowing we shan't be seen. We're miles away when we stop. I throw my bag down.

"We're meant to be on our fucking honeymoon."

JamesPOV

"We're meant to be on our fucking honeymoon." It's a statement - there is no anger, no bitterness in his voice. He's past all that. He's numb. A shell of the happy man he was with Bella when I saw him last. "She promised we'd never bother you again."

"Bella breaks an awful lot of promises," I snort, sitting beside him.

"Why are you here, James? I mean, really, why? You weren't happy to see her just two months ago. You said that you never wanted to see her again. Yet she does this, and you come after me. Why not go after her?"

"I'm going to go after her - but I'm only going to bring her back if you want her to come back."

"Half of me needs her to come back, desperately. I can't feel anything. I can't feel the wind, I can't smell the grass. I can't get the importance of hunting into my head. I don't feel thirst any longer. All I think about is her." He pauses, and his face twists. "And then the other half of me doesn't want her to ever come back."

"Which do you value more - your child, or your wife?"

"What sort of a question is that? And you are so like her." He shakes his head before I can protest. "No, you are. She asked me the same question, only worded a little differently."

"Jasper, you cannot live without her. If you go to Volterra after her, there will be a fight. Jane will kill Bella, and Caius will kill you. Aro will then go after the Cullens. They will all die. And this _will_ come about if Bella goes to Volterra after the birth, as you _will _follow her. This is the final prophecy - as if the Cullen's fall, then so too will the secrecy of the vampire world. The Cullens - including you and Bella - are woven into fate. If they fall, then this world will change forever. If Bella dies, it will start a chain reaction that will lead to the fall of the Volturi, and the rise of the Romanian vampires. We have to stop her dying."

"But where would she go?"

"You know the answer to that, in your heart."

"You can see the future -"

"But I can't see the present. And Bella has always been able to duck under my radar a little. All I had was a vision of her leaving you - but not where she'd go."

"How can you even see her? I thought she could shield -"

"Not from me she can't. Not all of it. I always get enough to stop her. I made her - and we'll always have that link."

"Oh."

"How much of her story has she told you?"

"Not a lot. She's told me her history -"

"Think about her history. Where was important to her?"

"How come you know nothing about all of this?"

"Bella told you the truth about me," I say, grimacing.

"That makes one then, among the lies."

"I hadn't seen her since the night I changed her, and when she came to me pregnant. I know nothing about her. I don't know where was important to her. Where did she spend time?"

"Europe, Paris and Milan mostly, Romany, Chicago, Texas -" He stops, his mouth hanging open. "I know where she is."

"Where."

"Houston. She's gone back home." He scrabbles in his bag for something and yanks out a photograph of two young children sitting smiling on a porch somewhere. "That's us, together, when we were children. This must be where she is. She always said she felt safe there."

"Then we get on a plane to Houston. Could you find this house again?"

"Easily."

"Then let's go."

He's pretty knocked, I can see it in his eyes. He barely notices security, forgets to take his keys out of his pocket at the airport scanners, would have walked into a glass wall if I hadn't yanked him back, and fumbles the buckle of his belt - things no vampire should ever do. He might think now that he doesn't want her - but he sure as hell needs her, and I need to get her back. And when I do find her, I'm going to give her a bloody good talking to. She's doing what she thinks is right - but she's pushing away the one person who desperately needs to be involved. They might not be able to live with the child - but they can leave the baby in a rainy place, and then watch that baby grow up, and live in the same place. She's being stupid - as per usual. She might mean well, but she's not handling this well. Frankly, I think she's being plain horrible right now, and we're going to have a fight about it. And God help me, but I'm going to win it.

_**A/N: Next chapter, we're going to see the Cullen's! I know it's short, but I felt that this was a good place to wrap it up! Drop me a review anyway, eh?**_

_**Some of you seem to know who Bella's first baby was. PLEASE, if you do think you know, don't tell everyone about it.**_

**_Also, i made a pretty forum for this story, seeing as some of you seem to want someone to yell at about it. Check it out, make a post, whatever you want :) It may be found on my profile, under Forums :)_**


	16. News and Suspicion

_**A/N: Over 180 reviews, aren't you all lovely people : ) Well, like I said, back to the Cullen's for this bit - remember they are all totally clueless about the pregnancy!**_

_**By the way, to timeline this story, they've been married three weeks at this point. Bella is exactly a month pregnant. The date is November 15th.**_

News and Suspicion

EdwardPOV

"Shouldn't we have heard from them?" Alice asks, biting her lip. She doesn't like that she can't see them.

"Alice, they are on their honeymoon!" Emmett shouts. "They are probably doing things that do not leave time for making phone calls!"

"But it's been two weeks!"

"Alice, do you remember our first honeymoon?" I break in. Carlisle takes up the tale.

"We didn't hear from you two for a month. Stop worrying, Alice. If something had gone wrong, we'd know."

I know it won't stop her. In our room that night, where we go to get a little privacy, she fumbles with her mobile.

"Who are you calling?"

"Bella."

"Alice!"

"I just want to say hi." I roll my eyes, but settle down anyway. I listen to the phone ringing. Bella answers on the second ring, sounding flustered.

"Alice?"

"Hey, Bella, I was just calling to say hi."

"Hi."

"Is everything OK?"

"Of course, why wouldn't it be?"

"Um, Bella, are you OK? You sound a little…tense." She does, actually. I'm a little more concerned now. Bella seems flustered at Alice's question.

"Fine, fine. Err - Alice, I have to go - things to do - I'll call." She doesn't say goodbye. We exchange glances.

Alice breaks our little silence. Carlisle is staring at us from the door.

"Something's wrong."

"I'm tempted to agree," Carlisle says, frowning. "Did she mention Jasper?"

"No, not once, and I couldn't hear him in the background either." Alice says. She's frowning. "Damnit Bella, I need to see!"

"Maybe they aren't together," I suggest. There must be an explanation for this.

"They're on their honeymoon, Edward," Alice says, rolling her eyes. She dials another number. "I'm trying Jasper."

"Hello?" snaps a voice down the line. "Alice?" We exchange glances.

"Hey, Jasper, I was just checking in," she says, casually.

"We're fine, we're good." Something is definitely very, very wrong.

"I just got off the phone to Bella."

"Is that so? Well, I'm sure she said the same thing."

"What do you mean, you're sure?"

"We're fine, why would she say anything else?"

"Is Bella there, Jasper?"

"Alice, what is this, the Spanish bloody Inquisition?" he snarls.

"No, I just -"

"Alice, we are fine. We're on our honeymoon! We will see you later!"

"Jasper, I just need -" And Jasper Whitlock, who has never hung up on anyone in his life, puts the phone down on her. Alice looks shocked. Jasper's been a little off with us sometimes, puts it down without a goodbye, but only when the conversation is clearly over. And he never ever does anything like that to Alice. He always says goodbye. Something is badly wrong.

Emmett, this time, is the voice of reason.

"Look, guys, you can't go running off after them. They were probably having sex, or about to! I'd hang up!"

"But something's wrong," Alice insists. "Jasper put the phone down on me, Bella was talking like she was alone and she sounded sick, and Jasper was speaking in monosyllables."

"I would be speaking in monosyllables and hanging up if you called me up halfway through my honeymoon."

"Look, Emmett -"

"You are not going after them. If they are having martial troubles, the last thing either of them will want is you getting yourself involved. They can sort out their troubles on their own."

"Emmett's right," Rose breaks in. "Leave them alone. If they need help, they can come to us. Think about it - we got involved with Jasper over and over when he was struggling with control. Bella kicked him up the ass and let him do it by himself. Which worked? They can fight through this on their own. Let them, don't crowd them."

"They're right," Esme speaks. "I'm worried, of course I am, but at the end of the day, they are both able to take care of themselves. Let it go, Alice. You are not to interfere, do you hear me?"

"Yes, Esme." I know this won't satisfy Alice. She'll keep calling until she gets an answer out of somebody. And if she doesn't get it, not even I will be able to stop her. She'll go after them unless she is reassured. Bella's blocking her constantly, and she can't see a thing.

We wait around for a week, Alice becoming more and more restless. Finally, her phone rings. She pounces.

"Bella?"

"It's Jasper," he says, sounding a little more like himself.

"Oh, hey, Jasper."

"Don't sound too pleased to hear from me, will you?"

"Sorry, no, it's great to hear from you! How are you?"

"I'm good. Bella's good too."

"Is she there?"

"She's just gone out, actually, Alice." Emmett snatches the phone

"Out where? To buy a pint of milk? You going mortal on me, Whitlock?"

"Hello, Emmett."

"Well?"

"Yes, she's gone out to buy a pint of milk. No, you idiot, she's buying a paper. We're in London, don't you know? Very classy."

"Hmm, London, very nice." I grab the phone.

"Get her to give us a call, won't you?"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. Oh, by the way, we're getting on a plane later today. Bella wants to go somewhere else, but she won't tell me where. I'll call you later, yes?"

"Yeah, sure. Have a nice honeymoon!"

"Bye - say goodbye to Esme and Carlisle, won't you? Tell them I send my love, and Bella sends hers."

"Jasper, before you go, is Bella blocking?"

"Alice, do you want to see us making love, having sex, procreating, whatever?"

"Not really."

"Yes, she is shielding. See you in a few months!"

"Bye!"

We look around.

"He sounds normal," Alice says, doubtfully.

"He probably is. Well, that's that. They were probably in the middle of something scary. Come on, people, lets go hunting."

_**A/N: Anyone else spot what I did in there?! Rubbish joke, I know. Back to Jasper next. We won't hear from Bella for a while. Drop me a review. I promise that this story will get exciting again soon, as I think it's getting boring. Let me know if you hate it! Please, if this is getting slow and boring, let me know! **_


	17. Talking, Never Listening

_**A/N: Just to clarify, when I say JPOV, I mean Jasper. If I'm writing from James' POV, I say JamesPOV, okays? Bye now!**_

JPOV

"So she's not in Houston. Not the end of the world, there are other places she can go!"

"I was so sure she'd come here. I was so sure that this would be where she'd go if she was in trouble. I thought I knew her."

"It doesn't mean you don't know her -"

"I don't even know where she would go when she's lonely and scared. How can I know her?"

"How do you know that she's lonely and scared?"

"I'm an empath."

"You told me that all you felt from her was anger and sadness."

"I -"

"You know her better than you think you do, Jasper. Think about it. Bella used to talk about you - when I knew her in New York - she used to talk about you. She was wondering if you were OK. She knew you'd join up. She worried."

"What?"

"She loved you, even then. At the age of twenty one, she knew she wanted you."

"You knew, didn't you? You knew I'd already been changed."

"Yes, I knew. I would never have changed Bella, never, but when I realised you were her mate and a vampire! I thought I did what was best. I had no idea that she'd be so powerful." He waits, looking at me intently. "Jasper, think. Where would she go, if not to Houston?"

"She spent time in so many places -"

"In your heart you know the answer," he interrupts. "Her child, her first child. Where was she in 1901?"

"Somewhere in the West, she never said." I think. "She'll go somewhere familiar. She'll go somewhere where she has memories." I think harder, tearing through my head, trying to remember, the places she said she was happiest, the places she had the memories. "Chicago. She's in Chicago."

This time I'm sure of it. And the airport in Chicago smells of her. She's here, or she was. The trail leads us to hotels, to a multi-storey car park, to a park, to a cinema.

"None of this makes any sense," I groan, stopping outside the cinema. "Most of these places weren't here in 1901."

"Records Office then."

"Why?"

"Because we need to know what was in these locations in 1901."

The hotel had always been a boarding house, even in 1901: it was likely that she'd stayed there for a time, this time around. The multi-storey car park had been an orphanage, that had burnt down less than thirty years before. They moved to another site, and a company brought the land. The park had always been there. And the cinema used to be a small enclosed gated community in the early 1900's. I was getting confused. First an orphanage, then a home. So Bella's baby had been adopted. Adopted by who? When? I went right through the records, adoptions, marriages, births, deaths. Surely the child must have been registered at some point. But there is no record of a baby boy being abandoned in an orphanage in the winter of 1901. None, not one. No adoption records. It's like Bella's child never even existed. I do find the Masen's announcement of the birth of their son, Edward Anthony, on Friday, December 13th 1901. Hmmm, Edward was born on Friday the 13th. I must tell him that when we get back.

We?

She's here.

I can feel her. She's definitely in Chicago, and very close. We leave the library, and look around us. The clouds are thinning. We have to get inside. There's a flash of white between the trees. The trees of the graveyard. I go after it, not paying attention to how light it's getting. Worry is pouring off James.

"Go back to the hotel. I'll find you." He leaves, and I cross into the graveyard, unnoticed by any humans, unnoticed by anyone. I move silently, sticking to the trees. A woman cradling a barely there baby bump stands in the shadow of a marble angel tomb.

"I know you're there, Jay," she says, softly. The graveyard is empty apart from us. I join her in the shadows, and the sun comes out.

"Elizabeth and Edward Masen," I read.

"Yes - my greatest friends."

"Why didn't you take Edward in?"

"What the hell are you doing here, Jay?" She sounds defeated. "I defiantly remember telling you not to follow me."

"You didn't _tell_ me anything. You left me a note, and your wedding and engagement rings."

"Wasn't that enough?"

I take her back to the hotel.

"You, young lady, have an incredible amount of explaining to do." James informs her. "Jasper, would you mind?"

"No. I don't know if there's anything left to say. Do what you want." A spasm of pain ripples through me - partly mine, and mostly hers.

I never thought that less than a month into our marriage, less than two after a miracle had occurred, that we would be in separate rooms, staring at the walls and waiting for the other to give in first. I never thought she'd ask me to make an impossible decision and then walk away, leaving me behind the rings I never wanted her to remove. Which are still in my hand. They're partly out the door.

"Bella," I say, and I hold out my hand. She stares at the rings there. It's her turn to choose. She takes her rings, and as she turns to leave, I see her put them on.

And I don't feel a damn thing. I thought I'd feel something. I thought I would know for certain how I felt when she made her choice about the rings. But that doesn't mean she's chosen. It just means she'd rather be with me than on her own. I'm still no further. I still want our baby, she still doesn't. So where does this leave us? It leaves us where this started. It leaves us in a hotel room, throwing insults and choices, hurling sharp words and evil looks, and cutting each other with words honed as sharp as knives and throwing ultimatums like rocks at waves.

So where do we go now?

They never spoke about what he said. But that night she came back to me, without him.

"He's gone back to Norway," she said, quietly. There was silence. "Shall I stay?" _Should _she stay? Do I want her to stay? We're dancing this same dance again. So this time I say yes, she should stay. We might not have anything to say, but we have a lot to listen to.

We don't talk at all that night. We sit and we watch TV for a bit, and we don't say a word. She reads a while, and then she just sits. When dawn breaks, she goes over to the balcony. It's cloudy again here, for which we are lucky. It'll be sunny later, but she doesn't need to hunt, and I don't want to. I'm scared that if I leave, I'll get back and she won't be here. The sky goes from slate grey to granite, and her skin glows.

"I've been thinking," she begins tentatively. "And I know what we need to do."

"Am I going to get a say?"

"Yes." She takes a deep breath. "We take the child to Scotland - no, Jasper, hear me out. What we then do is move to Scotland ourselves. We stay close. We see our child whenever the hell we want to. I shield him or her from Alice. She never finds out what I can do, and we watch our baby grow up, but safe from Aro, and safe from me. And we bloody well pray that whichever power of mine it inherits can be controlled - or see if he or she inherits your power."

"This is your solution?"

"It keeps our baby safe from Aro, and Jane, and the rest of the Volturi, and we get to be there. We leave a letter. The letter will be given to the child on the child's twenty-first birthday, when he or she will stop aging. It is then up to the child whether or not to find us."

"I don't like it."

"I know, I know. I don't like it either. Trust me, Jasper, if I got my way, I'd have my son with me, and I'd keep our child. But don't ask me to hand over our baby to Aro, because I will die before I let him touch my baby."

"Do you like any of the Volturi?"

"Marcus is alright. Marcus I can handle. Partly because he kept out of my way, and I kept the hell out of his. And he helped me out sometimes when I wanted to wind up Caius."

"Marcus actually does stuff?"

"I know, I was shocked too. But it's the best I can do. I want this baby as much as you do. I wish I had another answer." And she does, she really does. She isn't just in pain - she's in agony. I've never felt pain so intense. It tears through me, leaving me gasping, like a hole has been punched in my chest. "That's how I feel all the time, Jay," she murmurs, and the pain stops. "That's how I've felt ever since 1901. I have tried very hard to die. It's like there's part of me missing. Like someone has reached inside my chest, and torn out my heart and my lungs. It hurts to take the breaths I need to blend in. it's like someone's torn out my heart and left me there bleeding. This pain has nothing on my transformation. This pain has nothing on being torn apart." She takes a deep, unnecessary breath, and it catches in her throat. She cries, tears she cannot shed not coming, sobs catching in her throat. "But I will break if I have to hand my child to Aro and his minions. This pain will have nothing on that pain."

And so I agree. And later that night, when she is showering, I sit on the bed alone, and I think. We haven't been listening to each other. We've said so much, and not one word of it have we listened to. Is that what's wrong with this world? Everybody talking, nobody ever listening? Is that the reason behind all the wars, because everyone thinks that they know best, and everybody else thinks they're wrong? It's the reason behind our fight - I thought I knew best, and so did she. And now I've listened, I can hear all the pain in her voice, and I can see the torture in her eyes.

We talk again, and she curls up beside me. I touch her stomach, and a little foot kicks. A human would never have felt it, but I can. That's my child. Oh, my God, that is a heartbeat I can hear. I can hear a heartbeat.

"How many beats?"

"Just one," I whisper, staring at her. "One heartbeat."

"One baby, beautiful." She smiles at me. "Our baby."

_**A/N: Now, what do you think? And I need your help. Jasper has forgiven Bella, and they've agreed to their compromise. BUT, who finds out first? Alice - or the Volturi? Let me know, and lets see if we can hit 200 reviews! **_

_**Also, the next chapter will see Bella and Jasper's child in the orphanage, not least because I am sick of the pregnancy stuff. I need a name - boy or girl, and the one I like best will decide sex and name of baby. Please, not Reneesme or whatever it was in the book, that made me want to vomit. Keep it a fairly normal name, none of this modern stuff like Blade or Blue or Rainbow or Apple. **_

_**Thanks guys - don't forget I love you! **_


	18. Mum and Dad

_Twenty Years Later, in an care home near Edinburgh. _

_Dear Diary_

_Tomorrow, I will be twenty one years old, and officially free to go. Twenty one years ago, almost, my real parents left me on the doorsteps of this care home. I've been through every phase kids in care go through. I've been sad, I've felt guilty, and I sure as hell have been pissed off. I've been sad because I think they didn't want me - although I was a day old, well fed, clean and dressed when they left me behind. I've felt guilty- was there something wrong with me, so they left me? Why didn't they want me? Pissed off - why did they have to leave me? I bet she was a teenager who didn't want me, because I'd restrict her drinking time. I bet my father didn't give a shit._

_One more day, and I will no longer have to remain in this care home. That was the edict I was left with, and a solicitor saw to it. I would remain in care until I was twenty-one. Money was sent regularly, with the stipulation it was to be used solely for my education. It came through a solicitor, and I had no way to trace my parents through it. As a result, I have been put through the private school system, and university, studying English Literature. Recently, my social worker has discussed tracing my parents. And the amount of times I have changed my mind. I wanted to, then I didn't, then I did. Then I didn't. Now I do. I want to find them, and I want to ask them why. I want to know why they left me behind all those years ago. Right now, I'm on the anger stage. So, tomorrow, I can start looking. I have only my name to go on. Lucas Alexander Whitlock. But Whitlock can't be all that common, right? So, go back twenty one years, and look at marriage records - find any Whitlock's, which I assume is my father's surname. Always assuming they're married. Try and get that solicitor to do some talking. They must be reasonably well off, if they're supporting me. Narrows it down a bit. Well off Whitlock's - can't be many of them, surely? Maybe put an advert in the paper._

LPOV

Mary calls me the next morning, and wakes me up.

"Lucas, honey, there's somebody here to see you." So I get up, get dressed, don't bother shaving, and trundle downstairs. Mary shows me into her office, where a woman, thin in the extreme, is sitting very upright with her back to me. An envelope looking slightly yellowed is on Mary's desk. "That's yours. It was left here with you, twenty one years ago. I was to hand it to you on your twenty-first birthday." There is a pause. "I will leave you both to talk. Is that OK, Lucas?"

"It's fine." The woman in the chair hasn't really moved. Mary retreats, and closes the door. I go, and I pick up the envelope.

_FLASHBACK_

_Something was coming. I could feel it, a vision. I close my eyes, and I see a boy. A boy with steel grey eyes and brown hair flopping into his eyes. A boy who is really a man, sitting in an office, talking to me. I see both Bella and Jasper standing behind him, Jasper with one hand on the young man's shoulder. Bella is smiling proudly. The vision changes, and Bella says something impossible to me. The young man in my vision is her son._

_I jolted back to consciousness, and Edward and Bella were both staring at me in varying degrees of shock. Edward's was mingled with doubt, and Bella's was mingled with horror. Jasper could feel only emotions, and he went to Bella first, feeling panic and fear. The emotions scrolled across her face, and then her legs seemed to give out. She sat down heavily. _

"_Go and get everybody," she said, voice muffled against her legs. "go into the living room, and Jasper and I will tell the story. Wait for me."_

PRESENT

APOV

He takes his seat, and I study his face. His eyes are grey steel and he has Bella's hair and mouth. I can see Jasper too - the shape of his face, the cut of his jaw, the eyes the colour Jasper's once were. They're even muscled in the same way. If Bella hadn't explained all this, I would be reeling. I can smell him, and whilst he is tempting, he doesn't smell like food. He reads the letter lightening fast, and I remember that he has majored in Literature. He must be clever. Bella must be proud.

"I'm assuming you'll have questions -"

"Many. You're Alice?"

"Yes."

"Read it," he says, hoarsely. "Read it, and please, try and explain that to me."

_Lucas -_

_My son, I must apologise first. When you were born, I wanted to keep you. I swear to you, had there been a way, you would be with me now, and you'd know all this already. _

_As much as it sounds like I am making excuses for what your father and I had to do, we did it to keep you safe. There are things - people - in our world that would pose a threat to you, and to me. There is so much explaining to do. _

_The woman in front of you as you read this is called Alice. I know that you wonder now how I can possibly know this, and it is because that in our world, people like us can have powers, beyond anything you've ever imagined - or may have imagined. Have you ever felt like you weren't normal? Like you could do things others couldn't? I don't know specifically what you'll have - I couldn't tell when we gave you up. I expect you look like your father, who is very handsome. I'm writing this the day before we left you behind. Oh, that sounded contrived, sorry. The day before I gave you up, to people who could care for you, I wrote this letter._

_We are vampires. Please, don't think I'm insane, I really am not. I was born in Houston, Texas, in 1841. In 1862, I was changed, and your father is roughly the same age. I don't know exactly when he was changed, and he is no longer certain. After nearly over 150 years, one's human memory begins to fade. We were children together. We are vampires - as is Alice. Don't worry, Alice is really very nice, and she won't hurt you._

_What I need you to do now is make a choice. You can go with Alice, and you can come and see us - your father and I, and our family, in a certain sense of the word. Or you can tell Alice to leave, and you need never see us again. However, there is too much to explain to you in a letter, and there are certain things you need to know about yourself. If you prefer, Alice can tell you these things now, and you don't have to meet us. Or your father and I can tell you._

_I love you with all my heart, Lucas. Your father loves you. _

_Bella_

"What do you need explaining?" I ask.

"Is she really my mother?"

"Yes, she's really your mother. I am her sister, in a way."

"And you're really vampires."

"Yes, we are."

"My mother - I can see her?"

"If that's what you want."

"And you aren't going to eat me?"

"No, we won't eat you. We are different from the vampires of your stories. We - the Cullen's - live off animal blood. We are not the norm in the vampire world."

"Will you take me to my parents?"

"When do you want to leave?"

LPOV

She drives me right into town, through it, and along the coast road. We're outside town, and climbing the hill that I used to race my bike down when I was a kid. She drives up to electric gates and I realise that I have passed these gates practically every weekend since I learned to ride my bike.

"This is it?"

"Yes." Alice doesn't talk much, simply answering my questions, and I'm sort of grateful. She isn't crowding me with a whole load of other stuff.

"You always lived here?"

"Only the last year." The drive is really long. So this is the house that everyone talks about, because no one has ever seen it. And it is a very pretty house, with big windows, and three floors. Lots of space.

"No moats? No towers?" She laughs, and the sound is very pure and clear.

"No, none of that. I'm not sure if we even have any cobwebs. Sorry."

"I'm sort of disappointed."

"You're being very good about all this."

"Lots of explaining to do, I suppose. May as well hear it all before I make any rash decisions."

"I know this might not be what you want to hear just now, Lucas - but you are very like your father."

"What are they like?" She stops the car in garage. "Can they hear us?"

"Yes, they'll be able to hear us. Bella is - well, Bella is frankly extraordinary. She's very clever, and it isn't just because, if one counts her human life, she is one hundred and sixty nine years old. She's very nice, and she cares very deeply about the people she loves. If she loves you, you are under the protection of the most powerful vampires our world has ever seen. And, although it mayn't seem like it, both your parents love you very much. They will explain why they did what they did. Jasper is very organised - he and Bella are opposites in that sense. She is spontaneous, he is not. He is quiet, but he is one of the most confident people I have ever known. He fought in the American Civil War and was changed in 1862, a year after your mother. First and foremost, Jasper is logical, and again, extremely clever." She pauses. "They are both over one hundred and fifty years old - but neither of them look older than twenty. Don't be alarmed."

"How old are you?"

"I was born in 1901 - changed in 1920. And Carlisle is over three hundred, so don't stare."

She shuts her car door in the same second that she opens mine. If I needed more proof, I don't think I'd have to push too hard to get it. So, I take a few deep breaths. And I follow Alice from the garage, through a door, and through a kitchen - into a living room, where a woman with caramel-blond curls waits, with a blond man by her side. Standing in the background is a dark curly-haired man, with a beautiful blond by his side, who doesn't look happy. A younger looking boy with copper hair is sitting at a piano. And by the windows at the back of the room, is a brunette girl, with wavy hair, and a blonde man whose hair falls into his eyes, and looks like a blond version of me.

Mum and Dad.

_**A/N: So, the next chapter will be Bella's explaination to the Cullen's, as I'm sure you're all dying to hear it. the next few chaters will jump between the present and the pregnancy - what happened to Bella and Jasper, the day they left Lucas behind. And especially, there will be a full explaination as to Bella's first child, and the exact nature of her children. PLEASE REVIEW: we made 200 - you guys rock, and i love you! **_


	19. The Stranger's Eyes

**The Stranger's Eyes**

APOV

_Something was coming. I could feel it, a vision. I close my eyes, and I see a boy. A boy with steel grey eyes and brown hair flopping into his eyes. A boy who is really a man, sitting in an office, talking to me. I see both Bella and Jasper standing behind him, Jasper with one hand on the young man's shoulder. Bella is smiling proudly. The vision changes, and Bella says something impossible to me. The young man in my vision is her son._

I jolted back to consciousness, and Edward and Bella were both staring at me in varying degrees of shock. Edward's was mingled with doubt, and Bella's was mingled with horror. Jasper could feel only emotions, and he went to Bella first, feeling panic and fear. The emotions scrolled across her face, and then her legs seemed to give out. She sat down heavily.

"Go and get everybody," she said, voice muffled against her legs. "go into the living room, and Jasper and I will tell the story. Wait for me."

I do exactly as I'm told. I'm trying to process the mess inside my head. How is any of this possible? How is any of this in any way real? I thought I'd seen it all in my years. Immortal children, I have seen those. That's all I can think about when I think about a vampire's child. But the man in my vision had steel grey eyes and brown hair, and he was a man, not a child. He looked completely human.

BPOV

"She _knows_. She _knows_, she _saw," _I whisper, not raising my head, knowing he'll hear me anyway. "She saw our son."

"But you said you were shielding him -"

"I was! I am! I don't know how she could have seen, unless he's thrown it off -" He inhales sharply. "He's come into his powers. Tomorrow, he will turn twenty-one, and he will stop aging. We need to get him to come to us." I look up at him, and his grip on my hands tightens. "We need to tell them."

JPOV

I have never felt so many conflicting emotions from only three people. Worry, stress, panic, horror, doubt, confusion. What had Alice seen? I flew to Bella first, feeling the fear and the panic. She told us she too could read minds like Edward, but she could be thousands of miles away, and as long as she knew them well, she could search out that person's voice. When she told me what Alice had seen, when she told Alice to go inside and have the family wait for us, my mind went into overdrive. What were we going to tell them? How were we going to explain ourselves to them?

And what would this do to Rosalie?

She cleared her throat unnecessarily when we arrived. She was nervous, I could feel it, and I put my arm around her, pulling her into my side. She held my hand tighter.

"Has Alice told you anything?"

"No, just that you needed to speak with us all," Esme says, worry radiating out from her. "Is everything alright?"

"I have lied to you all. Again and again, I have lied. I had very good reasons for those lies at first, but I can no longer justify it. A few moments ago, Alice had a vision. I have told you that I can read minds, and Edward and I saw this vision also. And now I have a confession to make. Alice's vision involved a man of twenty. Well, twenty one, as she saw him. I am sure that you all remember that twenty-one years ago, Jasper and I married, and went away for a long honeymoon." She takes a deep breath, and it catches on the sob rising in her throat. "I didn't just want a quick wedding. I wanted to get away - I had to leave."

"Bella, please, you're starting to scare me," Esme says, leaning into Carlisle for support.

"We- I -"

"Bella had fallen pregnant," I say, quietly. Siz amber eyes turn to Bella in shock.

"That's not possible," Carlisle whispers.

"I'm sorry, but it is," Bella says, quietly. "James has only been able to theorize. He thinks I was at the height of fertility when he changed me - and it intensified in this life. I can bear children. I became pregnant in the early part of October, and moved the wedding up to before I started showing. Jasper and I left together for our honeymoon. I persuaded him that we had to give the child up."

"You can have children," Rose whispers accusingly, glaring at Bella, her voice catching on sobs. "You can do that, and you gave him up?"

"I'm so sorry I didn't tell you, Rose. I never thought I would ever have to. But I couldn't tell any of you."

"Bella, we're family," Esme whispers.

"I know, Esme, I know. But I was still - I have never trusted anyone, never let any one as far in as I have let you into my life. I was so scared that if I told you, you might accidentally tell Aro. I wasn't going to have him trying to find my son -"

"Wait," Emmett interrupts, holding Rose close. "Wait. You didn't know the sex. You weren't pregnant when you met us. So how would Aro go after a son who didn't yet exist, unless you already had a child?"

"Emmett, let me finish. I had never trusted anyone before with my secrets. It was always going to take time. I'm sorry I didn't trust you, but can any of you honestly give me your word you wouldn't have mentioned it to anyone?"

"I probably would have done. We all would have," Alice says.

"Exactly. I was so scared. I did what I thought was best, and left with Jasper. We argued about the best course of action. Jasper wanted to come back."

"I wanted to keep our baby with us. Bella and James both warned me what would happen if I did. The child would inherit powers, and if we brought up a bay knowing about the vampire worlds, we would not be able to control that child. The Volturi would descend - and kill our child and Bella. Then they would come for you. We did it to keep you safe - to keep out son safe."

"I left Jasper, intending to have the baby and leave him behind. I was then going to go to Volterra, and pick a fight with Jane. I would have let her win. But Jasper came after me."

"We agreed - leave the child here, in Scotland, and stay in Scotland, watch our baby grow up. We persuaded you to join us, and settled down." I say, holding Bella closer. "We named him Lucas, and left him on the steps of a very good care home. We paid for his education and university fees. Tomorrow will be his twenty-first birthday."

"How is that significant?"

"When Lucas turns twenty-one, he will be allowed to leave care, and start his own life. Bella wrote a letter, left it with him. He will be given that, and inside that letter is an option."

"You saw yourself sitting in the office whilst he opens that letter, Alice. I gave him the choice - to go with you and meet us, or to tell you to leave. He never has to meet us."

"But if you're vampires, what then are your children?"

"Mortals. They do not sparkle, live off human food, and are capable of catching all the major human illnesses. Not the common cold, but anything else is possible. But on their twenty-first birthday, my children stop aging. They are immortal and cannot die - provided they fall ill or get injured after their twenty-first birthday. They are more fragile than regular vampires, and have neither strength nor speed - not enough to distinguish them from humans, bar that he will have been very good at sports and so on."

The silence is deafening. I can tell everyone is processing all this.

"I am so very sorry I didn't tell you all. I am sorry. I will leave, if that's what you want."

"You're still family," Esme says, quietly. "You're still my daughter. I want you to stay, and you have made my son happy." Carlisle nods his agreement.

"No more lies?" Alice asks.

"No more lies."

"I believe her," Edward says. "I want you to stay. You made my brother better. I still want you here."

"Me, too," Alice says. "And I will go to the care home tomorrow."

"I don't know, Bella," Emmett says, looking down at Rose, but she cuts him off.

"I know. You did what you did to keep us safe - and to stop it hurting me. You're still a better person than I am. You didn't just think about you, Jasper and the baby. You thought about us too. So thanks, I guess, and I don't want you to leave." Bella wriggles out of my grasp, and goes over to Rose. She hugs her tight, and murmurs something in her ear, far too low for any of us to hear. Emmett obviously hears too, and he hugs both girls.

Bella gives them time - gives us all time - before she releases her last secret.

"I promised you all no more lies, and there is something else I have to tell you. Emmett brought it up earlier. I had another child, in 1901. I never even told Jasper the identity of that baby. I fell pregnant - alone and scared, I went to James. He told me what I had to do. I left the baby with a couple I met on my travels. A human couple who couldn't have any children, whom I liked very much - and who knew exactly what I was. They were to raise the child as their own, announcing it in the paper. Aro need never know. It wasn't until some years later - over eighty, in fact - that I went back to Volterra. The Spanish Flu outbreak of 1919 killed the couple I left the child with. I was never able to trace the boy. I assumed he had disappeared under the paperwork, just one more statistic. And then, when I went back to Volterra. I had some business to do. Aro told me about the Cullen's. I didn't just come back for Jasper. I came back because I realised at last what had really happened to my son. On paper he was one more statistic, one more among the growing numbers of the dead." Bella takes one very deep breath as Edward makes a noise like a choke in the back of his throat. "But he had been changed. Carlisle's first son, Carlisle's first saved life. My son."

Every single person in the room turns to look at Edward. Bella hides her face in her hands.

"Forgive me, my son," she whispers.


	20. Next Stop, Where?

_PRESENT DAY - at the moment, Lucas' 21st birthday_.

APOV

Lucas stands in our midst now, eyes taking in each face, before resting on Bella and Jasper. Jasper tightens his hold on her as she makes to take a step forward, before checking herself.

"This is Esme and Carlisle. The pair by the TV are Emmett and Rosalie. This is Edward," I say, putting my hand on his shoulder. He's studying Lucas intently, and nods very slightly. His half-brother. "And they by the window are Jasper and Bella."

"Can you?" Bella demands of Edward. "Well?"

"No, I can't. Like mother, like son. Can you?"

"Yes, I can," she breathes, shaking off Jasper's hold and stepping forward.

"Can what?" Lucas speaks to her directly, and she reaches back for Jasper, who steps forward and wraps his arms around her protectively.

"Calm down, Bella."

"Edward can read minds. In my letter -"

"You mentioned special powers," he says, finishing her sentence. She nods.

"He can't read yours. But I can."

"What am I thinking right now?"

"You're thinking about whether or not to scream at me for leaving you, or asking for a hug." She pauses, and looks at him. "I'd deserve the screaming."

"At least you're honest."

"Something in my favour, as I've lost everything else." She twists to look up at Jasper. "He looks like you." There is a very long silence. "If you'd prefer, we can do this in private."

"Please," he murmurs, before clearing his throat awkwardly. "Please, I don't want to be rude."

"This is fine. Bella can call us whenever you feel ready." Carlisle says.

LPOV

Jasper - I can't associate him with the word "dad", he looks far too young - clears his throat.

"Well, I -"

"You came," Bella interrupts him. He rolls his eyes at me, and I can't help the smile. "You came. We would have deserved it if you had not come. Why did you?"

"Curiosity. I wanted - well, I guess I wanted answers."

"And when you have those answers?"

"I don't know, not right now."

"Then what do you want to know?"

"You're really vampires?"

"We're really vampires."

"Prove it. I mean, yeah, speed, and the power thing but -"

"What do you want to see?"

"I don't know, fangs maybe?" I'm desperate. I don't know how to think. Jasper laughs, although Bella frowns at him.

"We don't have actual fangs. Hollywood's version doesn't get much right. We're very fast, and very strong. We sparkle in the sunlight. And perhaps our best proof is thus - Bella, show him." She comes and sits by me on the sofa, and holds out her arm. "Touch it," Jasper encourages gently.

"I don't bite," Bella adds. I smile in spite of myself. And I reach out and stroke her arm. Her skin is hard and cold. She's so cold. Her skin doesn't give like mine does when touched. "Technically, we're dead and all. Hence the cold and the hard skin."

"Ok, now I believe you."

"I am so sorry. I will -"

"Bella this isn't just for you to apologise."

"You tried to talk me out of it."

"But in the end I went with it. Lucas, your mother and I are very, very sorry."

"You paid for my education, didn't you?" I say, light dawning.

"Yes, we did."

"Didn't that put you out?"

"Lucas, we're both over one hundred and fifty. Money stops being very important after a certain amount of time. It merely accumulates when you have unlimited time and a sister who can predict the trends in the stock market. It was the least we could do."

"We can't apologise enough for leaving you behind. But we did it to protect you, and to protect us. There are people in our world who would have seen you - and me - as an experiment. And I look too young to have a child. Not to mention that I'm not aging, nor is Jasper. Having you with us would make that fact more obvious, and make it harder for us to hide. There's only one rule for us - keep the secret. Humans may not know about the vampire world."

"But I know. You've told me. Doesn't that put us in danger?"

"Technically, you're not mortal. Being part vampire was always going to have consequences. There's a lot we have to explain," Jasper cuts in. Bella seems to be drifting in and out of our conversation, staring mostly at me, sometimes at Jasper, occasionally at a photograph of the boy with the bronze hair - Edward? - on the mantle-piece. "We don't have to do this now."

"May as well. I don't know how long I can last without breaking down, so lets get this over with."

"Think back to when you were younger. Ever get any colds, or viral infections?"

"I -" What sort of question is that? Everyone gets colds. I think about when my last cold was. Well, I must have had a cold - it's impossible, let's be rational here. "What?"

"Thought not. You're immune to most minor diseases - colds, flu, viral infections, that sort of thing. The major ones can still bother you. It's the vampire system. And there is more that you need to know." Jasper glances at Bella.

"Want to hold my hand for this bit?" she asks, quietly. "It's a bit - well." She holds out her hand, and I take it. I don't know why, but I immediately feel safer. Must be what Alice said sinking in: if she loves you, she'll protect you, or some such similar statement. Jasper tells me.

"As of now, you'll stop aging. You'll never get any older - and you're immortal. Old age will not kill you, but if you have a major accident, or catch a major disease, you can still die. But old age is not going to be an issue."

BPOV

His hand is still in mine, and he tightens his grip. I am only getting flashes of thought, and his emotions must be all over the place. He doesn't know whether to believe us, and I don't blame him. He hasn't gotten up and walked out yet, that's for sure.

Less than a minute later, I retract my statement. He pulls his hand from mine, and gets up and walks out. The front door slams, and Jasper calls Carlisle. They all come back bar Edward, whom I look around for.

"Has he gone too, then?" I ask, bitterly. "I can't say I'd blame him."

"Bella, don't be silly. He's gone after Lucas. He's had his world turned upside down too. If anyone can really relate to Lucas right now, it's Edward."

"Esme, I'm sorry. I've ripped this family apart. Maybe it would be best if I left."

"You are not pulling that again," Jasper warns, and drops to his knees in front of me. "You're not a coward, so stop acting like one."

"I beg your pardon?"

"Every time shit gets hard, you run off. Every time you don't want to face stuff, you run away from it. You aren't doing that now, Bella. You're going to stay - we both are - and we're both going to deal with the consequences."

"Jasper's right," Emmett breaks in. "I don't like that you didn't tell us, but I can see why you didn't. You've made all your choices, now you stay and deal with it."

"I agree with the boys," Alice says. "You've not screwed up though, as much as they're making it sound so. You made your choices to keep people safe, and I would like to point out that in keeping us all safe, Bella has caused herself a considerable amount of hurt. I'd have spent my life running too. Think about it. Yeah, she's lied to us, and yes, she left her children behind and she did this to keep us safe from the Volturi. Can any of us say that we would have been noble enough to do the same? Rose, Emmett, if you could do what she can do, would you have left the baby behind, for everybody else's sake?"

"You know we wouldn't have done," Rose whispers.

"Carlisle, Esme?"

"I don't know."

"I wouldn't have done it. If I'd found out I could have children, I would never have done it. Yes, Bella has done some things we should be angry about. But I can't get angry, not with any right could I get angry. We are all still alive because of what Bella has done. So you two," she says, glaring at Jasper and Emmett, "can just lay off, right?"

I can't help but wonder what's going on outside.

EPOV

He hasn't gone far. He's sitting under one of the huge oak trees, head resting on his knees. It doesn't look comfortable.

"Bella, could you just let me -"

"I'm not Bella, nor am I Jasper." He squints up at me. He's clearly been crying. "Edward," I prompt him, holding out my hand, which he doesn't take.

"Whatever, I'm not really in the mood."

"Which is why I'm here, and nobody else is," I say, sitting down. It's very peaceful out here, his mind closed off from mine.

"I just need time to process all this."

"Yeah? Well, I have all eternity to process what Bella told me yesterday, but I don't think I am ever going to get used to it."

"Why?"

"I am Bella's first child. I was born in 1901, and left with the people whom I always assumed were my parents in Chicago. I lived there until I was seventeen, and then caught Spanish Influenza in 1918. Carlisle found me, both my parents dead, and I was very close to it. He knew nobody would miss me. At the end of his shit at the hospital, he wheeled me to the mortuary - and he changed me, and _viola _- here I am." There is a silence. "If he hadn't, I would be dead. Have they explained everything?"

"Yes."

"If I hadn't caught Influenza, I would probably still be alive anyway. Bella left me for similar reasons that she had for leaving you."

"What, too scared, so she ran off?" he asks bitterly, and a small bubble of anger rises.

"Bella is not a coward. If she were to raise her children in the vampire world, they would be monsters. We would all be discovered, and the Volturi would kill us all. She left me because it was 1901, she was a single mother, and because she wanted me to have the best chance in life and at life. She left you because she didn't want you to be a monster, have a normal childhood, get a start on normal life. She did it all to keep us both safe." I pause. He hasn't moved, but I get the feeling he's listening anyway. "I know pretty much how you're feeling. You're angry, you're upset, you're confused - and you don't know whether to walk away from them, or throw yourself into Bella's arms and never let go."

"Smooth," he mutters. I thought you did mind reading, and I thought, more to the point, you couldn't read mine. You're an empath too?"

"No, that would be Jasper actually. Bella can do many, many things. Read minds, stop people getting angry, have children, sense powers in people, speak to your mind - kind of put her voice in your head, without speaking herself and there's even more that I don't know about."

"She can speak to dead vampires," Jasper's voice says, a second before he drops out of the tree above us. Lucas swears in surprise. "Sorry. Edward, yes, she really can speak to dead vampires, and Esme wants to know if you want anything to eat," he says, addressing Lucas. "Don't worry, I won't hang around."

LPOV

I decline the offer of food and Jasper shrugs and disappears. Edward hasn't closed his mouth since Jasper's matter-of-fact statement.

"The flies will be in there in a minute," I say, and he snaps his mouth shut. "Is there anything else she can do?"

"Probably," Edward mutters. "She also said you'd have inherited either one of her powers, or Jasper's - he can control emotions too. Not in a bad way, just calm people down or something."

"Could have done with that earlier."

"Bella told him not to. Said you had to feel it all." He considers me. "I wonder what you have, then."

"As far as I know, nothing. I've never noticed anything."

"Hmm, well, never mind, I suppose. There may be something."

"What do I do now, Edward? Where do I go? Do I walk away, or do I stay?"

"I'm staying. I can't call her mum, I can't do that. But somehow just knowing that she loves me is good enough."

He's got a point, and when he gets up and brushes the dirt of his carefully pressed jeans, he holds out a hand to me. I look at it, and I know there's a lot of stuff attached to taking that hand. I can take it, and walk into a whole new life, and make a whole lot of decisions about the future. Or I could ignore it and walk away now. I know which way the easy way would be.

So, where do I go now?

_**A/N: So, where does our Lucas go? With Edward, back to Jasper and Bella, or does he leave? And yes, I revealed a whole bunch of Bella's powers just up there. There's more to come, have no fear! Please review, I'm seriously in love with you guys. **_


	21. The Cullen's Tales

_1901_

BPOV

The baby in my arms whimpered quietly. I shushed him, waiting in the shadows for the policeman at the end of the street to move on. He turns the corner, and I slip out of the alley, and cross the street, up to the steps of the big house. I ring the bell, and the door is answered immediately, by a young woman with very green eyes. She ushers me into the hall, and there is a man standing it the darkness.

"I can't stay. I've named him. Edward Anthony. All I ask is that you keep those names. Announce him as your son. You've been away long enough for it to be a feasible story."

"Bella, it isn't too late -"Elizabeth began, in a gentle tone.

"Love him, won't you?"

"I know your heart no longer beats, Isabella, but you have more compassion and love than most humans I know," Elizabeth whispers. I pass the bundle over to her, and Edward begins to cry. She rocks him gently.

"It's all I have to give him. His safety is my gift."

_PRESENT DAY_

LPOV

Edward's hand was glittering in the sunlight. I stared at him.

"Walk away, or ask for a hug," I whisper, knowing he'll hear me.

"It's always going to be your choice, Lucas. Just remember that they'll love you no matter what you decide."

I ask her for that hug. I try and put everything I can't say into the hug. She hangs onto me tightly, muttering sorry over and over again. Jasper coaxes her away from me, and Alice takes her off somewhere, presumably to calm her down.

"She didn't think you were going to come back. She feels things so intensely. It's like living on a rollercoaster sometimes."

"And you wouldn't give that up for anything, would you?"

"I will die before I let her go."

"Technically, you're already dead." He rolls his eyes, and I laugh.

"You are so like your mother."

"She said I was like you."

"I take it back. You are _exactly _like your mother. Irritating, argumentative, and extraordinarily brave. There aren't many humans who could handle all this."

"I always felt like I didn't quite fit in." We pause, and I study his face. He might look young at a glance, but his eyes are like the eyes of old men who have seen the world change, nations and men rise and fall, and they are above it all. His eyes are the eyes of an old man - clever and slightly sad. He's seen too much. He is built like a soldier - lean, tall, muscular. He could do with a haircut, but it somehow suits him.

"There's still much to be explained, but it can wait. We can turn to it all tomorrow. I imagine you're tired?"

"You know perfectly well I'm exhausted, you're an empath." He gets up and wanders towards the door.

"Bella, your son is annoying me!"

"Excellent," Alice says, placidly. "But Bella is in your room, having the vampire equivalent of a tension headache. Carlisle's with her. Esme's making up a room for you - unless you'd rather go elsewhere."

"No, here is good. But, where do you guys sleep?"

"We don't. We've given you enough shocks for today. Any more, you'll explode. Get some sleep. Bella can make you breakfast. Don't worry about getting up early, whenever you want is fine."

I can't sleep that night, not for hours. I toss and turn in the strange house, in the strange bed. I can't think straight. I can hear faint voices on the floor above. I can't hear what they're saying, but the buzz is comforting. I fall asleep listening to that buzz.

JPOV

She doesn't relax until we hear his breathing even out, and slow. Even then, she's listening more to his heartbeat than to me. Alice comes creeping in at three-thirty.

"Bella, he will still be here tomorrow morning. And he will freak out if he wakes up and you're standing over him.

"I wasn't going to -" she trails off. Her shoulders slump. "Are we sure he's still -"

"Bella, he is still there, and he will still be there when he wakes up. Could you just relax? You're giving me a bloody headache!" I snap, losing it completely. Seriously, I think I replaced bloodlust with temper. Bella and I are single-handedly responsible for every broken object in this house. Esme did make us move out five years ago, when we broke her antique coffee table.

"Twenty one bloody years, excuse me if I think that he will change his mind and walk out."

"Uh-uh," Alice says. "You two start rowing again, I'll slap you both so hard that Lucas and Edward will feel it, you got that? He's been without you for twenty one years, do you really want him to see you arguing and hurling things at each other? And then do you really want him to have to sit through you making it up after?" Bella would be blushing if she could. I recognize that look on her face. Alice withdraws, and we hear them all leave.

She's very quiet. And then she kisses me.

"Sorry. I guess this isn't exactly easy for you either."

"It's OK. I guess I'll get over it, huh."

"I'm just scared he's going to leave. I've just got him back, and I'm so afraid he'll leave. I still think of him as my baby. I can't believe he's already twenty-one." She pauses. "He looks so exactly like you."

"Well, he acts like you." She giggles, and snuggles close to my side. I haul her onto my lap and kiss her hair. She seems happier already, after twenty-one years of being so close, and unable to touch him.

"I know, I heard you earlier."

"Bella, who was Edward's father?"

"Honey, I can't tell you that, not yet," she says, seriously. She looks up into my eyes, sees me closing down. "I know I said no more lies, and I'm not lying, I swear. But it's Edward's right to know first, and he must know it first."

"Then why not tell him?"

"It isn't yet time. There will be one, and perhaps sooner than we think. There will be a time when I can tell Edward who his father is, and I damn well hope that he is proud of who his son has become. I can tell you that it defiantly wasn't James."

"What do we do in the morning?"

"Family conference. We tell him our stories. He can ask us any questions." She smiles, her eyes lighting up, glowing softly in the dark. "We have all eternity, after all."

"What about Alice? She can't tell her story."

"I'll find the answers for her one day. She deserves some answers, and I'll find them for her. Aro's bound to know. Maybe one day we'll ask him."

He falls out of bed the next morning, as opposed to getting out. For heavens sake, he's twenty-one. How long can a grown man sleep?

"When I was his age, I got up from bed, I didn't fall out of it." I say, and Emmett cracks up.

"Hey, Daddy, don't sweat. That was over one hundred years ago. Times have changed."

"Daddy," I begin, huffily, but Bella interrupts.

"You sounded so much like a father then," she says, smiling my special soft smile, the one that makes me want to kiss the hell out of her, possibly drag her off to bed. In this case, I get all of five seconds kissing her when there's a disgusted sound behind us. I put her down and turn around, and Lucas has his face screwed up.

"Just because you haven't brought me up," he begins, walking hazily towards the breakfast bar, tripping over the bottom of his pyjama pants, "doesn't mean it's any less wrong watching you kiss. You're my parents, you're both over a century old, and if that isn't too old, I don't know what is." Alice and Emmett howl with laughter, while Carlisle and Esme shake with silent laughter. Edward and Rose shake their heads at us, as if to say, "what a shocking example you both are." Bella clears her throat, casts the Glare of Death around the kitchen, and then adresses Lucas,

"Breakfast?"

"I don't eat breakfast."

"But - but - but breakfast!" Bella splutters.

"Bella, it isn't the 1850's anymore. If he doesn't want breakfast -"

"Seriously, have you guys been reading a how to parent manual?"

"No," Bella snaps. "Can I at least get you coffee?"

"Yes, I'd like that."

She makes him coffee at vampire speed. Aside from boiling the kettle, which she finds an ordeal. Lucas convinces her that it isn't broken, and she manages to make coffee, which he drinks with minimal wincing, credit to him. I dread to think what it tasted like. Bella went overboard with the milk and sugar, I think. She's trying very hard, and her antics with the kettle make Esme laugh. She knows how to do all that sort of thing, cook, make coffee, use a dishwasher, just to fit in. Bella is learning.

Alice asks Lucas if he wants to hear our personal stories. When and where we were born, how we were changed, the circumstances leading to our change. He agrees quite readily, and Carlisle begins.

"I'm sure Alice has already told you how old I am. I am, roughly, 380 years old. You lose track of exactly how old after some years. I was born some time in the early 1600's, in London. My father was an Anglican pastor. I was to follow in his footsteps. In the early part of the 1640's, we discovered a nest of vampires, living in the shadows of the city. I led the chase, the hunt. We took up position near where the vampires had been seen. Soon enough, one emerged. He was very old, and weak through lack of blood. I was t the head of the crowd. He turned on me, hunger too great. He had no time to kill me, but time enough t bite me. I crawled away, knowing that my father would kill me if he found out what become of me. I hid in a cellar during my transformation, which takes, on average, three days. I knew that I had to be quiet, although the pain was almost more than I could bear.  
"I could barely comprehend what I was when I opened my eyes. I knew that, no matter what, I must not kill a human. I ran from London in the dead of night, ran to caves in Wales. I hid there. I tried very hard to kill myself. I leapt from great heights, and tried to die through starvation, as it were. I would not eat. There were no humans near me, the caves were inaccessible. One night, after what had perhaps been months, a herd of deer ran past the cave. I was so thirsty, I attacked, without questioning. The blood smelt so appealing, after so many months of thirst. I was shocked when I discovered that the blood soothed the burn, quenched my thirst. I realised that I did not have to hunt humans to survive. I could live off the blood of animals. I also discovered that carnivorous animals tasted better than the herbivores. It was a revelation. I moved back to civilisation, and began a task that took me over one hundred years to perfect. I began to make myself immune to the smell of human blood. I wanted to be a doctor. I knew that I would have to have perfect self-control to do so. So I lived among the humans, moving on before they could notice I did not age, never went out in the sunlight and the strange colour of my eyes. I went to France, and trained as a doctor after one hundred years of practice. Then I went to Italy, to the Volturi - and we will explain them in due course. I lived with them for a time. But they persisted in trying to change my way of life. They wished that I abandon my "foolish" pursuit. I refused, and I left them. I came to America, and began my life as a doctor.  
"The next two hundred odd years were lonely. I began to crave companionship, somebody who would share my way of life, my beliefs about this life. And in 1918, I had my opportunity. The Spanish Flu outbreak filled the hospitals, and they nearly failed completely. Thousands died. I was in Chicago at the time. Then - quite by chance - I found Edward. He was alone, and he was very close to death. I had treated both his - parents." The pause is tiny, but all of us, including Lucas, notice it. "His father was dead, his mother had lingered longer than anyone expected. She was awake and alert until the hour of her death. She demanded that I save her son, and I said I would try. She said no. I was not to try, I was to save him. 'What they cannot do, that is what you must do for my Edward." I felt at the time that she knew exactly what I was. Now I know that she did, in all likelihood, know exactly what I was. She alone would have recognized my cold hands, amber eyes and hard skin as the signs of what they were - the marks of a vampire. And so, I carried Edward to the mortuary. Nobody gave us even a second glance. The numbers of the dead were mounting. It was impossible to keep track. I stole him from the mortuary, carried him back to my home. Unsure of exactly how to go about making the change, I recreated the wounds I myself received all those years ago. I do wish I hadn't. It made the transformation that much more painful. When he opened his new eyes, he became my son. He had much to learn, but he tried very hard.  
"Few years later, I met Esme. I say met, but that is slightly inaccurate. I will leave it to her to tell how her transformation came about. I changed her, and she was my soul mate. I knew it at once. I felt something I had never felt before. We've been together since. Then it was Rosalie, in 1928. Again, it is her story to tell. I found her dying in the streets, brought her back, changed her. I had hoped that she would be to Edward what Esme was to m, but as soon as they met, I knew it was not to be. She was his sister, nothing more. It was Rosalie who brought Emmett to us. It is his story, but she carried him back, bleeding, and asked me to change him for her. She had not the confidence to do it herself. I knew at once that they were destined. So I changed him, and Emmett became the fifth member of our little family.  
"And then came a pair whom I had not changed, whom I did not know. They came one day whilst Edward, Emmett and Rosalie were hunting. The girls name was Alice, and she had had a vision of us all. She knew she was meant to be here. She brought with her Jasper, and Jasper's story is most certainly best left for him to tell. When Edward arrived home, it was immediately obvious that Alice and Edward were meant to be. Jasper remained with us, and both of them are most interesting characters. They each developed a conscience, as we call it, alone, with no outside help. In Jasper, it is even more remarkable.  
"And then, twenty two years ago, Bella came to us. She too developed her own conscience, and her story is fascinating. She knew Jasper when they were children. She came and I knew, even if they did not, that they were soul mates. It was certainly an interesting year, but which of them will explain why?  
"Everyone I changed had one thing in common, Lucas. All of them were dying when I found them. I changed them because it was that or death, and in each case, I had my own reasons. I will not change a healthy human unless it is their choice."

Esme is the next to tell her story.

"My story is not quite as long and fascinating as Carlisle's, so you needn't worry. In my human life, I was married. I had a little boy. And, as children so often did in those days, he died of an infection of some kind. My husband was a very cruel man, who thought I was there for two things: for sex, and for beating whenever he felt like it. After my little boy died, I gave it. I had nothing left to live for, certainly not my husband. I drove out to the coast. I stood on cliff, and I held a photograph of my little boy in my hands. I jumped. I wanted to die, in that moment. They took me straight to the hospital mortuary. They could do nothing for me. But then Carlisle came. I thought he was an angel." Esme smiles, and Lucas smiles too, although he looks close to tears too. "The angel came and carried me away, and then there were two angels. And then it was terrible pain. When I woke, Carlisle was right beside me, holding my hand, and he apologised. He may as well have spoken Greek, because the angel was still there. Then he explained what I was. My record is not as clean as Carlisle's, I am afraid. I have killed some people. Don't worry, I am not going to eat you."

Edward takes his turn.

"I grew up in Chicago. It was happy, and when the war broke out in 1914, I was all ready to have joined up. My mother forbade it, possibly because I was only thirteen years old at the time. When I was seventeen, the Spanish Flu broke out. Suddenly, soldiers who came back from the trenches were dying of something as simple as flu. We had no way to stop it. Within just two weeks, four of my friends were dead. Within a month, every family in the neighbourhood had lost at least one member. Finally, eight weeks after the outbreak began, my father fell ill. I was beginning a fever, and my mother was ill too. She packed us up, and took us both to the hospital. She had to virtually carry my father part way. My father died the next day, but my mother and I lingered on. I remember precious little of the next few days. My mother was dead long before anyone noticed. And then Carlisle came. He carried me away. I told him that I was still living, and he said that he knew. He promised that he would save me.  
"And then, there were three days of fire. I felt like I was burning. My heart was racing. I was convinced I was dead, and I'd been sent to Hell. I have never prayed so hard as I did then. And then I woke up, and there was the angel. The doctor from the hospital, explaining the impossible so very calmly.  
"I went through a period of teenage rebellion, almost, about ten years after I was changed, born, whatever you want to call it. I resented Carlisle for curbing my natural instincts. I was convinced I would be so much stronger and better if I fed in the normal way for us. I hunted the scum of the cities. I saw it thus: if I followed a murderer down an alley, where he stalked a young girl, surely then, I was a better person? Satisfying my needs - and saving a life by cancelling out one that was worth nothing."

"What made you come back to Carlisle?" Lucas asks. He hasn't run away, although with Edward's brutal honesty, I think he's paler. Now he's really coming to terms with the words 'we're vampires'.

"I didn't want to be a monster. I still felt terribly guilty. After about a decade, I came back. I got a better welcome than I deserved."

Alice takes up now, and we all look fascinated.

"I am afraid I don't have a story to tell you. You see, I remember absolutely nothing of my human life, nor of my transformation. I don't know who changed me. I don't know why he or she wasn't there when I woke up. It isn't at all normal to remember nothing of your human life. However, upon opening my eyes, I had a vision of Carlisle, and his family with the yellow eyes. I quickly established my eyes were red. I knew that to obtain yellow eyes, I must hunt only animals. And then, in 1945, I met a man in a diner in Philadelphia. I had been waiting for such a long time for him. He was late. He was on edge, and I could practically feel the thirst, the fear, the nerves radiating off him. I hopped down and glided over to him. I said 'You've kept me waiting,' and he said, like a good Southern gentleman, 'I'm sorry, ma'am.' And we left together, to find Carlisle and his family. In doing so, I found my Edward, and Jasper, after some time, found his Bella. I would like, one day, to find out my story."

I take my turn next. Lucas has reached out at some point. He's holding Bella's hand. Or she's holding his. He's scared, and nervous.

"Lucas, we can stop -"

"No, I need to hear all this."

"But you don't have to hear it all right now. Hell, I need a lie down after Edward," Bella says, gently. "We can do this tomorrow, or after lunch."

"I'm cool with later."

"I can feel you're relieved. We get that this is quite huge. We get that this is scary big. You need a nap, or you need to get out of the house for a while?" Bella continues, holding his hand.

"I need out for a bit."

"Emmett, Rose, why don't you take Lucas to the garage? Introduce him to the cars. Alice can maybe take him shopping later -" Carlisle breaks in.

"Carlisle, we're trying to give the poor guy time to recover, not feed him to the wolves." I joke, before I realise what a tasteless joke that was. Lucas goes green. Bella puts her head in her hands. He dashes to the toilet, and Bella hisses with rage.

"My God, for an empath, you can be tactless."

Lucas is hustled out by Emmett and Rose, who are so far, neutral territory, and taken into town to get lunch. Assuming he can keep it down.

_**A/N: Look, this was getting far, far too long. I was getting depressed, and so here we go! Nice long update! Please review, my darlings, I love you all muchly! **_


	22. Sometimes In Dreams

A/N: Any guesses as to who Edward's Dad might be, get them in!

By the way, Lucas has been with the Cullens about a month. They never finished the conversation they had in the last chapter, because Lucas is dealing with a hell of a lot.

Sometimes In Dreams

_It is a very dark night, and there is a young girl hurrying down a street. Her face is partly obscured by a veil she wears. She steps so quickly into darkness as the night watchman approaches her. He passes by her hiding place, and the baby in her arms is very quiet. He can sense his mothers anxiety. She watches him turn the corner, and carries on. She rings the bell of a grand house and is let in quickly. The door closes silently, and the street doesn't stir. Now there are more figures. A man, a woman, both young, slim pretty humans, paled by the vampiric beauty who stands holding her child. _

"_I can't stay. I've named him. Edward Anthony. All I ask is that you keep those names. Announce him as your son. You've been away long enough for it to be a feasible story."_

"_Bella, it isn't too late -" the woman begins, in a gentle tone. _

"_Love him, won't you?"_

"_I know your heart no longer beats, Isabella, but you have more compassion and love than most humans I know," Elizabeth whispers. I pass the bundle over to her, and Edward begins to cry. She rocks him gently. _

"_It's all I have to give him. His safety is my gift." The vampire is in agony. She kisses her son, and at the touch of cold lips, he quiets. "All I ask is for you to love him like your own."_

_The scene is once again the cold street. The vampire begins to run, her veil slipping off. She runs and runs, not daring to look back. She cannot ever tell his father. His father must never know what she can do, or he will report her, and she and her son will be hunted down. She isn't even sure she wants to tell him. Certainly, she loved him, but he is not her soul mate. She has yet to find him. Alone and scared, she begins the journey to find the man who she already knows…_

LPOV

I jerk awake. Somehow I knew before her name was ever said that the woman in the vision was Bella. That the baby in her arms was Edward. That I had just seen the past, as clearly as if I was there. I got up straight away. It was still dark, and the house was deadly silent. For the first time since I'd arrived. I could well believe that this was the haunt of a coven of vampires. The hair on the back of my neck was standing up. I went downstairs, headed for the vast living room. I couldn't hear a whisper of sound. Where are they all? I suppose they could have gone hunting. But when I reach the living room, I can count seven white shadows.

"Um - Bella?" She glides over to me.

"Shhh, just for a moment," she cautions in a murmur that I barely hear. She motions I follow her, and I go over to the windows with her. Two white shadows are moving in the darkness outside the house.

Wait.

I count the shadows in the room again, and there are seven. Only eight vampires live here. So who, and what, is the second white shadow among the oak trees?

"I don't know," she murmurs very, very quietly, placing her lips against my ear. This is so, I assume, the vampire - huh, weird how easily that word comes out - cannot hear us. Who else is out there? I wonder, knowing she'll hear it, hoping she'll answer it. "Jasper," she murmurs, lips still against my ear. What the hell? Why Jasper? Isn't Emmett meant to be the big scary one? "I'll explain later. Please hush now, Lucas, Edward and I are trying to concentrate." I try very hard to stop thinking questions. Although I do muse idly that she sounded so much like a mother there, and I look up in time to see a fleeting smile through the worry, and a comforting hand on my shoulder. Suddenly one of the shadows vanished, and the other began to run. A second later, the door banged shut, the room is lit, and Jasper is holding Bella in his arms.

"He's gone," he says, his voice harsh.

"Who was it? Why were they there? Why didn't they just come up to the house?" Esme asks. Edward is frowning, and he and Bella are looking right at each other, nodding or shaking heads, although they aren't saying anything. Alice joins in, placing her hand on Edward's arm, and they shake their heads. Bella steps first to Edward. Taking his hand, then pulls me into her, hugging my shoulders.

"They aren't getting my boys," she snarls, fiercely, glaring at Alice and Jasper. "They are not touching my boys."

"Bella, if we don't go there, they'll come here. The outcome is better if we go to them."

"Alice, I am not going to waltz into that city and hand over my children. I may have been a crap mother, I may have left them both behind, but I still love them and I will not give either of them over to them."

"Christ, someone tell us what's happening!" Emmett and Carlisle bellow together.

"A vision, a man in the garden, a note," Alice says, quietly. Bella is stroking my hair, even though she's barely tall enough to reach properly. Edward hasn't been released from a grip which I assume is vampire strength on him. I don't feel jealous - she'd crush me if she held me like she's holding him. But her arm around me is tight enough to be uncomfortable. She loosens it immediately, but she doesn't let go.

"What does all this mean?"

"Who was the man in the garden?"

"What note?" It doesn't matter anymore who is asking the questions. I can almost feel Bella's worry, fear, nerves. Jasper puts one hand on my shoulder. For the first time since I saw them, met them, I want to call them Mum and Dad. Now, more than ever, it seem appropriate.

"A note will come tomorrow. The man in the garden was connected to Jane." Bella hisses with fury as Edward stops talking. "Alice saw us going to Volterra. We have been summoned."

"No, I have been summoned," Bella whispers. "It's very noble of you, Edward, to try and convince everyone that we all have to go, but it's me, isn't it, at the end of the day. I saw Alice's vision too. Aro wants to see me. He knows about Edward."

"Does he know about Lucas," Alice asks, fear in her voice. Edward detaches himself from Bella's grip, and walks over to her, enfolding Alice in his arms.

"No. I don't believe he does. But I have a horrible feeling that he will whenever our visitor gets back to Volterra. I think we've been watched for days."

"Why didn't I see him?" Jasper snarls. "Why the hell didn't I see him? It's my fucking job to protect this family, and I never saw him!"

"Jasper, none of us saw him. Alice didn't, I didn't, Edward didn't. None of us saw him coming. He may have been shielding, or being shielded. You haven't failed."

"People, I hate to be blunt, but what are we going to do?" Emmett says, speaking for the first time. "We need to be practical now. Bella, I do think you're hurting Lucas, so you may want to loosen your grip. Either they come here, or we go there."

"Excuse me, but what is this _we_ business?"

"As in, what are _we_, as a family, going to do. Whatever happens now, Bella, it happens to us all," Emmett states, flatly. "No, don't argue. Now, do we go there, or do we stay and wait for them to come here?"

"Personally," Jasper begins, "I think we should go there."

"Well, I happen to think that we need to explain rather a lot to Lucas before we go anywhere," Bella chips in. "For the record, I agree with Jay. But I am guessing Lucas is getting confused, huh?"

"A bit."

"Oh, and by the way, as it is only three in the morning, do you want to get back to bed? We can do this in daylight hours."

"I couldn't sleep now, anyway."

"Quick question before we get going on this," Alice interrupts, "do you need or want anything to eat or drink?"

"Right now, I'll take alcohol. I get the feeling I'm going to need it." Bella doesn't object. Alice gets a beer in lightening fast time - I found out that Esme stocked up whilst I was sleeping, which I objected to, whereupon I was told, by Emmett, that I was far too much like my mother, and needed to relax. She's already popped the top, and I take a mouthful. I do hear Jasper mutter something about it only being three a.m. but I ignore him.

"Why did you come down anyway?" Edward asks, curiosity in his tones.

"Had a bit of a weird dream. Woke me up. Bella, I saw you. And Edward was there too."

"What did you see?" I'm grateful that she doesn't say just a dream. Maybe people who cannot dream themselves are more interested.

"A street, in Chicago, in 1901. A woman wearing a veil to hide her face, and carrying a baby in her arms." Bella sits down rather shakily. Edward makes a convulsive movement. "The woman handed the baby in her arms to another woman, and you said that you had named him Edward Anthony, and you asked them to keep those names. The woman said it wasn't too late, and you said 'Love him, won't you?' The other woman said that you - something about compassion."

"I know your heart no longer beats, Isabella, but you have more compassion and love than most humans I know," Bella murmurs. Jasper crouches in front of her, rubbing his hands up and down her legs.

"Yes, that was it. And the last thing you ever said was 'It's all I have to give him. His safety is my gift.' You kissed Edward goodbye, and repeated your request for love. Then you ran away. You were - you were in agony. And I felt it." I wrap my arms around my stomach. I can feel it. Like someone has punched holes through me, pain so intense it's physical, and it's pain she still has. Jasper sends me a wave of calm, and Bella pats my hand.

"It's my burden to bear. And I think we've found a power. Alice can see the future. And you can see the past. And somehow, you can feel what happened in the past."

"Did they love me?" Edward whispers, his face contorted.

BPOV

"Oh yes, they loved you," Lucas replies. Then he screws his face up. "How'd I know that?"

"They loved you very much. I chose a couple who would. You were always Elizabeth's son. She loved you - enough to ask Carlisle to save you. Your mother wasn't scared of anything, except seeing you in pain."

With the morning post comes a letter, written in a script I recognize all too well.

_Dearest Isabella_

_We have been hearing such rumours surrounding you. I am afraid that we must request your presence in Volterra, despite the last unfortunate incident involving Caius and the chair. He has promised not make good on his threat. Regardless of previous amnosity, we will ask you to once again join us here. I am sure that you have an inkling of why I am calling you here, and it concerns your supposed son, Edward. It was my understanding that Carlisle was Edward's sire, and I would appreciate some answers, as the other conclusion to this bizarre rumour is fascinating and worrying. _

_I am afraid, Isabella, that I must insist upon your presence here._

_Aro_

"Snake."

"Sorry, but who are the Volterra?"

"No, Volterra is the city. The vampires who live there are called the Volturi. They are the closest thing we have to royalty. They enforce the one law. Keep the secret. No humans may know of us. Aro, Marcus and Caius. The Gods, you may say, of Vampires, except they still roam. Nobody knows how old they are. I believe they have seen millennia, watched the world grow old. All three of them are different. Marcus is tired, Aro is manic and Caius truly enjoys killing and maiming. Carlisle and I have spent, separately, time among them. We both left because our lifestyle choices came under scrutiny. It is very hard to explain the Guard there. It is better seen."

"So, we're going to Volterra?"

"If we don't, they'll come here. And as I like to make Caius as uncomfortable as is humanly possible, we'll go there."

"What do you have against him?" Lucas asks, and everyone stops, turning towards me. The question I've never answered for any of them.

"I hate him. He's a monster. He revels in killing. It makes him _happy. _

I take one very deep breath and stand up. "I'll go to Volterra - fine, Emmett, _we_ will go to Volterra - on one condition."

"What's that?"

"You two," I say, pointing at Edward and Lucas, "never leave my sight. I want to be able to see you, or at the very least know exactly where you are, all the time. If I'm throwing myself into the jaws of the lion, so help me, you two will not be going with me."


	23. To Volterra

_**A/N: None of you guessed! I am disappointed! I know you're all clever, you all got it about Edward - how many more clues do you need? Come on, have a guess, I dare you…**_

APOV

Lucas is biting his nails. Bella removes his hand from his mouth, but two minutes later, he's chewing again. She rolls her eyes, but Jasper taps her on the shoulder and frowns at her. She shakes her head and he keeps right on staring at her. She sighs irritably, but nods. The flight board changes - our flight has been called. We move to the barding desk, and Carlisle handles the tickets. Edward snaps his phone closed and wanders over to us.

"There'll be a hire car waiting at Rome. We'll get a hotel, Lucas can beat the jet lag. We will go to Volterra in the morning."

"Is that soon enough?"

"Plenty. They don't expect us until them anyway."

"Then I want to be there at three a.m. I am going to make sure they know I am not working to their schedule. Lucas will still have had enough sleep to combat the worst of the jet lag. Don't you dare argue with me Emmett."

Lucas kicks back and falls asleep the second we're in the air. Bella gapes at him. His breathing is quiet and even, his hair falling into one eye, needing a cut, and clearly very peaceful.

"He seems - relaxed." I say, cautiously. He should be bolt upright, like Edward, chewing his nails, eyes darting everywhere.

"He is," Jasper says, puzzling. "That's all I've had from him since we explained about Volterra and that people whom you obviously and openly disliked wanted us there. He's dealing with it so well. Almost too well. Should we be worried? God, why is there no manual for this?"

"Jasper, Bella, there's no right way to set about this. Especially as neither Lucas nor Edward view you as actual parents. You just have to take it slow. Maybe Lucas is masking his worry somehow. Perhaps he is more like Bella than anyone realised. Let him be."

He looks confused when we hit Italy. The time difference and the fact that he's already slept are messing with his head. His body thinks it's about ten p.m, when it's only four in the afternoon. We check in to a hotel, driving right up to the entrance, letting valets deal with the car and luggage and get inside as soon as we can. Not fun. Lucas crashes as soon as we get upstairs, and Bella waits for dark before taking Jasper for a hunt. She's learned that there's a link between his hair-trigger temper and how thirsty he is. That hair-trigger temper could potentially ruin everything. But as it's impulsive, and very little sets him off, I can't see a clear outcome as a result.

"Damn Major," I mutter, thinking dark thoughts. They aren't here now, should be long gone.

"Well, that Major and his temper might be just what we need. Jasper's a scary guy at best, what with his history, but when he gets mad, you cannot forget that every vampire in the world knows his name, and what he is capable of." Edward reminds me. "Carlisle told us stories about Major Whitlock long before we ever met him."

"That's what worries me. Caius and Jane… neither of them have reputations for waiting for provocation. Clearly Jane and Bella have something between them, clearly they hate each other, and what if they start a fight? Jasper won't be able to stand by. If they fight, they will die."

"Bella won't fight."

"She'll fight if Aro tries to take you and/or Lucas by force. If anyone touches Jasper, she'll fight."

"Will she win?"

"I can't see."

She wakes Lucas at three. She's dressed in the extremes. She wears black jeans, a white button shirt, open to a black vest. There is a necklace around her neck, one none of us have ever seen before. It is some kind of crest. Carlisle glances at it sharply, but says nothing.

"We're going to Volterra. Now."

So we set off. Still dark, and it's going to be cloudy all day. We run - Jasper takes Lucas on his back, who's pale when he sets him down. Bella leads out way. A secretary looks up in alarm, and her features change to panic at the sight of Bella. She takes herself into the central room. Carlisle joins her.

"It hasn't changed here."

"Of course not. I'm getting comfortable. Lucas, Edward, wait out of sight - Edward, arrange that. Stay together, Emmett, go with them. My signal - I'll let my shield down so you can read my thoughts, Edward - you come out. I'm doing this my way, not anyone else's." She takes Aro's throne.

"So, um, what now?"

"We wait. No doubt miss secretary out there has already let them know we're here."

And sure enough, they come. Aro, Marcus, Caius. Caius' features twist into a terrible scowl as he sees Bella lounging in Aro's chair. Esme and Carlisle are standing slightly to the side, Jasper by Bella's side, me and Rose, standing slightly away from Carlisle and Esme.

"Hello, boys," Bella says, smile mean and wide. But her eyes genuinely soften when they fall on Marcus. "How are you, darling?"

_Darling_?

"I am tired, as always, my Isabella. But you look well. What are you now?"

"Too old, Marcus, too old."

"Excuse me," Aro begins, voice like frozen black ice crystals, "but you are sitting in my chair."

"I am. You see, Aro, as you should well know, I don't get _summoned_ anywhere. When I do, I tend to play that summons on my terms, not yours. What was it you actually wanted, Aro? I'm already getting depressed."

"You have married."

"Indeed. Aro, Caius, Marcus - meet Major Jasper Whitlock. I'm quite sure you all know him already. Carlisle you've met. His wife Esme. My sisters Alice and Rosalie."

"I don't see Edward anywhere. And is there not another son, Rosalie's mate?"

"Ah yes, now it was Edward we were here to discuss, was it not? And this little rumour you've heard. And I will take the liberty, if I may, to point out that if you ever send spies after me and my family again, I will send what is left of their ashes back to you in a matchbox. Clear? And where is the rest of your guard. Haven't seen Jane in a while, would _love _to catch up with her. And the dickhead twins? Fifi and Demi?"

They all come forward. The entire guard. At a word from Bella, they'd all come forward. God, she has influence. For the first time, I don't just see people look at Jasper with fear and awe. They do to Bella too. Maybe because she's the only one who's messed with Caius and lived to tell the tale. Jane almost lunges forward, but a gesture that is tiny from Aro stops her.

"Now, now, Jane. I'm sure Bella has something to say, after we confront her."

"Then get confronting. I had a job I had to pack in to be here, Aro."

"Edward is your son."

"Yes."

"But Carlisle is Edward's father. Excuse the confusion, Bella, but I'm not quite understanding."

"We were under the impression," Caius hisses, "That you only very recently met the Cullens."

"Yes, I quite see the confusion. Why don't we theorize? I love theorizing."

"I remember," Marcus chuckles.

"Marcus, this is not the time to be laughing," Caius hisses. "For all we know, she is plotting to bring us down! Bring us all down!"

"Don't be so utterly ridiculous, Caius," Bella says, icily. "We both know that if I wanted you dead, you would be dead by now."

"If you claim to be Edward's mother, but Carlisle is his father, we have some varied possibilities. Firstly, you merely assisted with the transformation - Edward therefore carries both your venom and Carlisle's, hence, you are mother, Carlisle father. Or, alternatively, Edward is older than we have been led to believe. You changed him, for whatever reason, left him, and he met Carlisle. Story chosen for convenience."

"My goodness, is that really the best you can come up with? Aro, my dear, I really think it is time I introduced you to someone. Edward!"

BPOV

Lucas is slightly behind Edward, his thoughts organised. He doesn't seem remotely fazed to be surrounded by vampires, head up, back straight, and only his eyes display his rampant curiosity. He reaches Jasper at human speed, and Edward comes to my free side. Jasper puts Lucas slightly behind him, but is elbowed back out of the way. I can't suppress the smile. That's my boy.

"I know, and you know, that you have another theory."

"It's mine," Marcus says, his deep voice as gravelly as ever. It still makes me smile. "Edward is your biological son."

"Keep going."

"Your biological son, born in 1901, and you gave him up, to protect him from all this."

There is silence. I can hear the thoughts, a perfect babble of outrage. And one voice among the rest, as his red eyes seek out my golden ones, and the amber eyes of my son, and his voice asks me only one question. He asks me why, and I close my eyes. His thoughts are screaming on and on, and I can say nothing to him, or to comfort him, not without revealing us both. All I can do is hope that if he gives me a chance to explain, he will find it in himself to forgive me.

_**A/N Guess, I dare you. And I'm sure you can work out who Fifi and Demi are. Any and all theories welcome, on the following subject:**_

_**1) Edward's daddy**_

_**2) Why Bella hates Jane and Caius so much**_

_**3) Why the Volturi guard are scared of her**_

_**4) The situation with Marcus**_

_**Have fun you minxes! Love you all! **_


	24. Still Burning

_**A/N: Well weren't there some interesting theories? Three candidates for Edward's Dad so far:**_

_**Marcus**_

_**Alec**_

_**Demetri**_

_**I'm not saying who it is in this chapter, although I rule one out, so if any other brainwaves spring up, get the old theories in!**_

_**HALFWAY THROUGH, ROUGHLY, THE POV CHANGES TO THE POV OF EDWARD'S FATHER. MARKED "FPOV".**_

BPOV

"That is impossible," Caius hisses. "And now you have brought a human into our secret! Is there no end to your insolence?"

"Clearly, it is not impossible. Edward is my son, and there is no human here."

"The boy-"

"Lucas. My name is Lucas."

"He is not quite human, Aro. Does he smell like food to you?"

"There is something about him. There is an aura about this child," says a new voice, and Demetri pushes his way forward. "You are right, he is not quite human. But there is power. This is something new."

"Well," I say, looking at him. "I am impressed. Been hiding that light under a bushel, haven't you?"

"It was convenient."

"I understand that. Look, we're rather off on a tangent. I'm sure Lucas wants to ask a question."

"Thanks. Shall I?"

"You may as well."

"I'm only half human. Only half. I am immortal, or so I am told. I am not full vampire, and I may still die. But I am never going to be threatened by growing older. I am an immortal, but not like you."

"Who is this child?"

"That would be my son, Caius, and I'll thank you to show him some respect." Jasper intones.

"Jay," I say, warningly. I cannot let him lose his temper. Not here, not now. "Caius won't touch him."

"Since when have you started dictating my actions, Isabella?"

"Since right now. Since you started threatening our son. Edward, where is Emmett?"

"I'm right here, Bella." Emmett steps up, right behind Demetri.

"This is when I started dictating your actions, Caius. When I married Major Whitlock, when I had his child, and when I made a friend of the vampires who could kill you. When I was born, I starting threatening you. I bet you felt a shiver down your spine when you saw me sitting here."

JPOV

I've never seen anything like it. She gets up, and she's in Caius' face.

"I bet you felt a shiver down your spine when you saw me sitting here. I think that you're scared, Caius. I can see it in your eyes. I know that behind that front, you know what I could do to you. You know that I could, and would, cheerfully kill you." It's a face off that I'm tempted to split up. It's hard to say who's eyes are blacker. "Jane, I should tell you that if you touch my sons, either of them, I'll fight you now and I will win."

"Bella, if I may," Marcus says, stepping forward and placing a hand on Caius' shoulder. Jane has, incredibly, stepped back. "We adjourn here until tomorrow. We have our chance to talk. You have your chance, as a family, to talk together. You and your family remain here, in the citadel, but isolated from us. You have my word that you will not be able to hear us, and we will not be able to hear you. I give you my word that you will not be disturbed."

"Very well. In twenty four hours, Isabella."

"Aro."

Marcus leads us through corridors, the inner sanctum of the Volturi. Bella was the last to leave the chamber, and immediately the shouting of a debate started. She then strolls ahead to join Marcus, whereupon they begin a conversation.

"Are you going to tell him?"

"Bloody hell, you don't let up, do you? Yes, I am going to tell him."

"When?"

"Marcus!"

"Sorry, sorry." He smiles down at her with such tenderness, I feel like an intruder. "Would you like me to ask him to come up and talk to you?"

"Yes. If, that is, he ever wants to speak to me again."

"Are you talking about my father?" Edward asks, suddenly, stepping forward.

"Yes. Yes, he's a member of the guard here."

"Ah, technically, he's not."

"Marcus…"

"Oh, I wasn't meant to say that, was I? Forgive an old man."

"My offer still stands," she murmurs, so quietly it clearly wasn't meant for our ears.

"Perhaps, Isabella, it may be time." He sighs very deeply, and kisses her forehead. "I'll send him up directly. There is a room, soundproofed even to vampire ears. It is the room with the red triangle engraved into the door handle. I will bid him meet you there in five minutes."

He vanishes back down the corridor, leaving us to settle. Bella takes Edward off alone.

"I don't like not being able to see him here," Alice murmurs, looking after them.

"It's something for them to do alone," Carlisle says, but he's worried too. We all are. The mysteries here are becoming no clearer, the strings are no less tangled than they were when we arrived. Too many questions are not answered and too many are being asked. Who is Isabella Swan, and why don't I know the answer to that question?

FPOV

She's here, right where Marcus said she'd be. And so is he. Tousled, messy bronze hair, because combs are just so hard to find these days. Can it be possible?

"You!" He shouts, shock gathering on his face. "You and him?" He demands of Bella, who pulls a face, although I'm not sure which of us she's pulling it at.

"Bloody hell, Edward, don't say it like that. You're making it sound like I slept with Satan."

"Close enough," he snarls. I feel I ought to say something.

"Bella, perhaps if you and I spoke privately."

"Excuse me, but I have waited long enough to meet my father."

"Edward, I think on this occasion, that he may actually be right."

"Hurt much, did it?" She can't stop the tiny smile that tugs at the corner of her mouth.

"Yes, agonising. Edward, I need to talk to him alone. Please. I will come for you, and you will be able to talk to him alone. I promise."

She sits herself down in the alcove.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because you would have told Aro. And I had to keep Edward safe."

"And I didn't get a say? He is my son."

"I didn't exactly raise him, you know. It wasn't exactly my ideal situation. I didn't get much of a say either. James -"

"Oh, James!"

"Say what you like about him, he's a good man, as I told you."

"I'm not disputing his honour, Isabella -"

"Don't call me Isabella!"

"You never used to mind. And Marcus gets to call you Isabella."

"Marcus is different. And that isn't who I am anymore."

"No, now you're married. And married to Major Whitlock, no less!" She meets my eyes. Her amber ones are as beautiful as they were the night before she left.

"Maria was all he knew. But he is not that man now, now he is a good man, and like it or not, he is my husband, I do love him, and that is how it is."

"You told me you loved me once."

"I did. I do. But for him, with him, it's different."

"How convenient for you."

"I don't have to justify myself to you."

"You're the mother of my child, an existence that I should have automatically been told about. You do have to justify everything to me."

"Not my marriage, and not Jasper. I admit that I owe you justification, but I owe you nothing when it comes to my husband."

"You owe me when it comes to our son."

"Tell me, do you give a crap about him, or do you just care that you'll have bragging rights for the next century when it gets out that you got a vampire pregnant? Because not once, not once, have you asked me why, you haven't asked me how and you sure as hell haven't asked me if he's been happy. So what is it? Do you care about him? Because if you don't -"

"What? You'll what? _Caius_ might still get tremors when your name is spoken aloud, but you can't scare me, and you've never been able to. I don't think, somehow, that after abandoning him for over a century, that you speak for him."

"Maybe I don't, but I take care of my own, and I will protect him with my life from ever getting hurt again. Do you care about him, or do you care about your reputation?" I lose my temper.

"I can't care about either right now, because I never even knew he existed! I can't care about him because he is a stranger! What connection could I have with him? I can't even think straight, let alone think about my bloody reputation! I am handed a man who is one hundred and nine years old, and I am told he is my son, and what, Isabella, do you fondly imagine I could possibly answer to that?"

"You felt it the moment you saw him! You felt something, because I did! When I finally found out what had happened to him, and I saw him again, I felt it!"

"Of course I felt it! The second he walked into the room, I felt it, but I didn't know what it was! I thought it was something coming off the boy -"

"Lucas."

"What?" I say, brought up short.

"The boy has a name, and it is Lucas."

"He looks like Jasper. That's what I thought it was, recognition because he looks so much like Jasper."

She rubs her temples. I recognise the gesture. In the old days, in the days when she was - when she was _mine. _I'm shocked by the possessiveness. Where did that come from? It's been over a century.

In the old days, I would have rubbed her back, and it probably would have ended with sex.

"God, would you keep your thoughts to yourself!" She snaps. "I remain eternally grateful that I can shield. What Edward would say…"

"Sorry. It's been a while. At least that was the bit we never had a problem with."

"Yeah," she says. "We might have fought repeatedly, but hey, the sex was good."

"Look, I can't - I think that for right now, we're all talked out. Maybe I could see Edward."

"If it's what he wants."

"You know it is."

"And it kills me. I did want to tell you. I swear, on my existence, that I wanted to tell you. But I wouldn't let Aro have him. And that meant I couldn't tell you. All it would have taken was one touch, and he'd've known everything. I did what I could to make sure that this never happened. And now it has."

"Now it has, and you have no control over it. And that scares the shit out of you, Isabella Whitlock. That is the one thing you're scared of. Having no control, and no way to stop things."

BPOVHe's coming closer, one step for every word. I could run. I was always quicker than him. But I can't move.

"What have you done?"

"Nothing. That's all you, Isabella. You're free to leave if you choose. The door's right there." Oh yes. But right there seems miles away. And he's getting closer. "Like I said. No control. And you're scared, but I can smell something else. There's more there, under all the fear of being lost. I used to make you lose control, and you used to shatter in my arms." My breathing's ragged, uneven. He backs me into the wall. I swallow. Venom has pooled in my mouth, even as my body reacts, and my brain screams at me.

And his lips crash onto mine, and everything stops. My hands take over, going to his waist, finding their perfect groove, and he slams into me, and I go against the wall, and the fire starts to burn again…

**_A/N: Please, read and review. And please don't hurt me. Keep the guesses coming in as to who FPOV is…_**


	25. All My Secrets

_**A/N: Hahaha. I sense I'm in a bit of trouble with some people! Anyway, here is the revised list for candidates for Edward's father:**_

_**Marcus; Demetri; Alec; Felix; Caius. Felix seems to be a very popular idea right now, and I'm guessing you got that off the FPOV bit. Remember that that was only to show FATHER POV, and didn't necessarily mean Felix. I'm not saying it definitely isn't though!**_

_**And someone suggested that Jacob was Edward's father! Points for originality there.**_

_**Remember that it could be anyone!**_

_**And she does love Jasper, of course she does. Stop being daft. Everything will become clear.**_

JPOV

Edward is closeted with _him_ for over an hour after Bella came back to get him. Edward and Bella then spent some time alone together, after which Bella was plainly very upset and Edward looked almost angry. They assured us all that it wasn't each other they were upset/angry with. But something troubled Bella, and a shield had slammed down behind her eyes, and sometimes it was like she wasn't even in the same room. She seemed miles away.

"Alice, can you see what choice they will make?"

"Bella will be given an ultimatum."

"What will they ask from me?"

"Either Lucas is changed by us, or he will be changed by them - by force. Aro will make you that offer, and you have to have an answer for him. They won't give you time to think."

"It's not my choice -"

"Bella!"

"Let me finish, Jay," she says, reaching for my hand. "It isn't our choice. It's Lucas'."

He looks terrified.

"I'm not ready."

"What?"

"I was going to ask eventually. But I'm not ready! I still want to be able to go out whenever I want, I still want to eat proper food, live a normal life!"

"You were never going to be able to live a normal life, there would always have been an element of us. You don't age, we would have had to move around anyway."

"But I'm still more or less human! I'm not ready to let that go."

"I'm sorry. I really am. I feared this would happen."

"Can't we run? Can't we just leave?"

"No. They would never let us go. We'd be hunted for eternity, and I can't put you through that. This is how Aro works. He screws with you."

"Bella, we need to know exactly what grudge Jane and Caius have against you. They can't have anything to hold against you." Carlisle is gentle as he points this out, but Bella's face still hardens.

"That doesn't matter. Lucas, I'm not making this choice for you. We have six hours, roughly, before they come for us."

"I don't need six hours. I want you to do it. Both of you."

I'm shocked. He's asking us to do it? The people who should have always been there, the people who should have been with him always, but abandoned him instead, and he wants us to do it? He insists that this is his choice. Bella cries without tears, and he kneels at her feet, letting her hug him, stroke his hair, and talk quietly to him.

Edward won't even meet her eyes when we are fetched. Bella's mouth sets at being summoned anywhere, and when she sees who's been sent to fetch us, her lips nearly disappear as she presses them together. Demetri smiles tentatively at her, she sends him back a glare that could have easily ignited him where he stood. His smile disappears, and he ducks his head. What does she know that we don't?

I ask her this question. She shakes her head at me. More secrets. How much do I really know about her?

Apparently, our "escort" shares this complete blankness when it comes to Bella. I take a good hard look at Demetri, trying to spot any of Edward's features in his face. I can't see anything. It gets so that I think I can, I think that his nose is a little like Edward's, his cheekbones like his - and then realise that Demetri has a crooked nose, slightly off centre, where Edward's is straighter, more aligned. Edward's cheekbones are more prominent, more like Bella's. I take up her hand lightly, trying to make it look purely unconscious, but she sees right through me. She smiles slightly, but doesn't wriggle away. Her grip is the one that tightens oh-so-slightly when the doors are opened.

I smile ironically at the sight before us. This time, they are seated and ranged, just as we were. This time, we're standing before them. Bella smirks. With her, the position seemed so natural, with them, it's like they're deliberately putting on a show for us. Bella does not seem even remotely fazed by the role reversal. She's holding my hand still. Having never really been here before, and having been so tense last time, I never really got to have a good look round. The inner chamber of Aro and his cronies is circular, the three thrones near the back, on a raised dais. The ceiling is really high, and, obviously, there are no windows. I feel claustrophobic. I need to be able to see outside. Fine, I need an escape route, need to be able to plan my way out. There's just the one door, the one we've just come through, as far as I can see. If I have to fight to get my family out of here, so be it.

The first thing Aro does is hold his hand out to Bella, who rolls her eyes.

"You know that shit isn't going to work, Aro."

"Perhaps I hoped. May I?"

"Ask him, not me." I expect him to go to Lucas, but instead he turns to me.

"Jasper -"

"It's still Major Whitlock, Aro, even to you."

"May I?" he asks, extending a hand, ignoring my statement of rank, when I know for a fact half the people in this chamber just felt fear stirring at long-dead hearts. The other half felt more than a stirring. I put my hand in his, and deliberately bring every memory of Maria and the Wars to the forefront of my mind. I summon the rage, the bloodlust, the intense desire to kill all who stood in my way. I throw those feelings at Aro, who - incredibly - drops my hand and staggers back.

"It's still Major Whitlock," I say again, and he manages to compose himself.

"Indeed. And what a wonderful addition you would be -"

"_No_, Aro," I say, emphasizing the negative. "No. I will never repeat that part of my life. My family is my priority now. Maria is dead to me." Aro looks hard at me. Evidently, he decides that I am not worth the hassle of bothering with - or the risk. Instead, he choose Lucas, who asks him, fairly rudely, it must be admitted, what he's going to do.

"He's going to read your mind." Bella interrupts.

"Like you can?" Bella smirks, and Aro scowls.

"Aro has to be touching you. It won't hurt, I promise. He won't hurt you."

"Why do you want to read my mind?" Aro looks shocked. Clearly, nobody has ever asked him why he wants to actually read his mind. "It's a valid question. Why do you want to read my mind?"

"Aro wants to know if you harbour any feelings of resentment against Bella and Jasper. He'll twist it all around, use it against us, probably try and persuade you that we're all bad people and should be avoided at all costs." Edward supplies, while Aro is opening and shutting his mouth in sheer shock.

"Oh. Well, that's easy. No, no bad feelings."

"They abandoned you!"

"For all the right reasons. Anyway, who are you to judge? You killed Marcus' soul mate. Bet you didn't do that for any reason other than you were utterly, utterly selfish."

"The boy has power!" Marcus practically shouts, looking half-pleased, half-saddened.

"Of course he does. He's my son."

"I know what happened in the past. It's getting easier, actually. The more time I spend with the Cullen's, the clearer things are becoming. I used to have to be asleep, but now it just comes to me."

"Now this," Bella says, clearly amused, "is precisely why you couldn't be around me as a baby. You would have been blurting out peoples deep dark secrets all over the place. I bet you know who I was talking to earlier, huh?" He's twenty one. But he still rolls his eyes and pulls a face. Nods. Bella has a quick, silent conversation with Edward, who shakes his head. Aro looks like he's going to explode with fury.

"You are in my home, Isabella. A little respect!"

"When did you ever show me any respect? My choices were not good enough for you, my way of life was something I should have been talked out of. You showed me no respect twenty years ago, you showed me no respect a century ago. You have not changed, and so I will not respect you."

"We have come to our decision about what to do about this…anomaly. We are going to do the following. You have your choice Bella. Either your son is changed by a member of your family, or he is changed by us. And there is the matter of your - ability."

"It isn't my choice, Caius. It is Lucas' choice."

"I want my parents to do it. I want my parents to change me. Can we go now?"

"No." It is not Aro, Caius or Marcus who speaks. They all look surprised, and turn to the source of the noise. A man is shoving his way impatiently through the guard. "You tell them Bella. Your family has a right to know."

"Not now," she hisses at him, glowering. He meets her eyes and she visibly stiffens. She shakes her head. "I hate you." Her voice is calm, clear. "I absolutely despise you and what I saw in you I will never know."

"You could still see it last night."

"And I told you to take last night and that stupid mistake and your hypnotic eyes and shove them up your ass."

"And I warned you what your precious Major might have to say -"

"You couldn't blackmail me then, and you can't now. Tell him if you like."

"Look, I'm sorry, but what the bloody hell is going on?" Emmett demands. "I don't give a flying fuck about protocol and Bella's grudges, but I'm confused as hell."

"This is Edward's father. Yes, I regret it, yes, I want to set my head on fire just remembering it, and I kissed him last night. The only part I don't regret is my son."

"You kissed him?"

"Yes, I know. It's his eyes. It's his _power. _No, Jay, I am not trying to make excuses. And I am so, so sorry."

We are all still digesting the information, staring at the man in front of us. Bella looks horrified, frightened and angry all at once. Lucas takes a step up to her, and puts his arm protectively around her shoulders.

"Whatever you did last night, you upset my mother. Nobody upsets my mother."

"Oh Lucas, it means so much that you're sticking up for me, but I don't deserve it. Everyone has the right to know the story. Everyone deserves to know why I slept with Demetri."


	26. Family Conferences

Family Conferences

"Jay, please don't do this." Bella.

"Jasper, this doesn't have to happen." Carlisle.

"I only kissed him." Bella.

"Jasper, mate, you're over-reacting." Emmett.

"I love you, why can you not see that!" Bella.

"You had a child with another man!" Me.

"Yes, years ago! Are you telling me that you'd never had another woman before us?"

"No, you know -"

"Exactly! I know about Maria, I know about the other women. I had sex with one person before you, and that was Demetri. And yes, I had his child! It doesn't mean I love you any less."

"You kissed him."

"Jasper -" She makes her mistake, and I make mine. She reaches out to me, stepping toward me, and I lash out. I smack her across the face, the blow loud in the now dead room. Her head snaps back.

"Jasper!" cries Esme, horror in her voice.

"Bro -" Emmett says, fear in his voice. Alice actually steps away from me. Lucas however, steps towards me.

"I was so nearly proud to say I was your kid. I was so nearly OK with all this. Mom made one mistake, don't tell me you never have. I know that in your past there are mistakes you aren't proud of. Mom made one mistake. I was nearly good with you being my Dad, even after everything. But I won't call a man who hits women Dad, not now, not ever."

"Bella -" I say, helplessly, taking a step toward her. Lucas gets in my way.

"No."

"Step aside."

"No!"

"I want to say sorry -"

"Maybe it's too late. It's not one rule for you, another for her. You wouldn't hear her apology. She doesn't have to hear yours. I don't care who you were. This is who you are. And I don't much like it."

"Lucas, Jasper, stop it, both of you." Bella puts herself between us now. "For Gods sake, just stop. Jasper, if you ever hit me again, you will never see me again. Lucas, thank you. For everything. Jasper, you need to accept that I cannot regret Demetri, because he gave me Edward. You need to accept that there was another man for me, just as for you, once there was another woman. We both had our distractions from our lives. You had Maria, I had Demetri. I kissed him, and I'm sorry for it. I'm sorry, I really am. He's always been able to do that to me. Now, I have explained myself, as far as I need to. And, frankly, I want to just go home. The Volturi have been their usual arrogant selves, and as far as I am concerned, we are so done here."

"What about Demetri?" Edward asks.

"If you want to see him again, that's up to you. I sure as hell don't."

"I don't know what I want."

"You can call him, come see him, write to him - whatever you want. Just because I don't see him, doesn't mean you should stay away from him."

"Mom, your phone's ringing." Lucas points out, helpfully.

"What?" she snaps, before her face softens. "Marcus, I'm sorry."

"_It's alright, Bella. I booked the flights for you and your family. Nine this evening, East Coast Airlines."_

"Thank you, Marcus. Does De -"

"_Yes, he knows you're leaving. For what it's worth, Bella, he is sorry."_

"Tell him it's too late. Tell him Edward will get in touch some time. And tell him I don't want to see him again."

"_Bella, I know that you've had a lot to deal with today."_

"But…"

"_Jane. Jane is - well, Jane. She thinks that this is her last chance. She wants to fight you, Bella."_

"I -"

"_I'm sorry. But perhaps now is the time for your family to know what happened all those years ago."_

Bella throws her mobile across the room with force. Edward catches it, thankfully, before it causes outright damage. Bella wrenches open the door and storms out at lightening speed. Every line of her body spells murder. We follow, wondering vaguely if we should maybe stop her.

"Jane, for Gods sake, could you not just, for once in your miserable existence, derive pleasure from somewhere other than torturing me?"

"Isabella."

"Don't you dare talk to me like that. I warned you, all those years ago, what I'd cheerfully do to you, if you ever crossed me again."

"I did what I did, and you extracted your vengeance."

"Yes, I did. Your brother still bears the scars of that vengeance, and your sister died with my name and a whisper of fear still upon her lips! I then told you we were evens, and warned you what would happen. I have waited, Jane, I have waited very patiently for my moment. Because I knew you wouldn't be able to resist. One day, you would try and get one step ahead of me. And look. My moment. My revenge, Jane."

"We were evens."

"We _were _evens, I agree. You killed my parents. And I, in turn, killed your sister, and made sure that Alec would remember my name, always with curls of fear sneaking down his spine. We were evens." The hall is dead silent. So many revelations. "Bu then you and your arrogance thought you could beat me. And you killed Victoria, because you thought she was my creator. Well, you made your mistakes. She was never my creator. She was my creator's mate. I've still got my vengeance to take. Perhaps I'll take it now. Or I might make you wait, for a couple of centuries. I can bide my time, Jane. I could let you live in fear, every day wondering if I'll be waiting down some dark corridor, waiting for my moment. I wonder if the waiting would drive you mad? I wonder if I would break you, and never need to kill you, as a mad vampire is a very dangerous vampire, and Aro would just do it for me? I could strike a blow to you all. I could eliminate you, hurt Aro, and I don't know what your death would do to Caius. We could find out, Jane. We will find out. You might think that because you know my plans, because you know what I intend for you, you can fight it. But you can't. You can already feel it, can't you. Icy fingers of fear, wrapping themselves around your cold, dead heart. You'll be looking over your shoulder for the rest of your life. Looking over it, watching every shadow. And one day, one of those shadows will be me, Jane. That is, if you don't break long before that. So I'll be waiting Jane. I won't fight you today. I'll just wait."


	27. Need You Now

EmmettPOV

Bella left the Volturi reeling. She left us reeling. She refused to talk to Jasper, refused to look at Jasper on the flight home. She sat by the window, and Lucas got in next to her while Jasper was stowing overhead luggage. She took his hand and rested her head on her shoulder. He put a protective arm around her shoulders. When we got home, when we were unpacking, she came into me and Rose.

"Can I talk to you guys? Privately?"

"Sure, Bella. Let's go down to the river."

She takes Rose's hand in hers when we get there, and pulls her to sit on a flattened rock by the edge of the stream. She patted the rock on the other side of her, and I joined them.

"I know that you were pissed off when I had Lucas. I know that. Hell, I would have been."

"Bella, I -"

"Oh no, Rose, don't you go denying me. Ya'll give me more credit that that." She sounds richly Southern, like she always does when she gets nervous or excited.

"OK, Bella, I'll be honest here. Yeah, I was pretty pissed. But, we both understand why you didn't tell us."

"Well, I want to do something for you."

"Bella, if you're going where I think you're going -"

"Probably. I'm going to offer you the chance to have a child. I would carry the baby. Emmett could, you know, supply the necessary and I'd carry it."

"You'd do that, for us?" Rose whispers, her face contorting. She'd be weeping if she could.

"Yes, I would. If Alice and Esme want me to do the same, I will. But I know that you and Emmett want a baby more than anyone. And if you want me to do this for you, either now or in a century, I will. And before you ask, I discussed it with Jasper. He's fine with it. I'd involve you every step. It'd be your pregnancy Rose, if you ever want me to."

"You'd do that? You would, honestly?"

"Yes, I would."

"Bella, can we think about this. It's not that we're not grateful. But this is -"

"Rosie, come on. You want this," I say, coming round to crouch and hold her hands in mine.

"Emmett, can we -"

"Of course you can," Bella says, firmly. "If you want this, all you need to do is tell me when. I'll leave you some time. Just let me know."

Rosalie looks at me. And I nod. And she goes to Bella.

"Thank you, Bella. And I - we'd love it. We really would. And I will never be able to thank you enough and -"

"Rose, it's fine. Whenever you're ready."

She blew out of there, her offer still wheeling frantically through my brain.

"Can we do this, Emmett?" And I get her question. Can we really accept this? Do we really want to accept this?

"If it's what you want."

"You know it is."

"Then of course we can. Bella wouldn't have made that offer if she didn't intend to keep it. However much she and Jasper fight, this will have been agreed for years. Because she'd've known that Lucas would turn up. And she'd've known what it'd do to you. And so she gave us something neither of us want to turn down."

"I don't want it to be like we're using her, Emmett."

"You won't be," Carlisle's voice said, cutting across Rose. "Bella and Jasper want to make you both happy. It might help you to know that Alice turned her down flat. She and Edward don't really want a baby, and besides, it's a little weird. And Esme and I have to do some serious thinking, but chances are our answer will be no. Bella would get pregnant, and nine months isn't a huge chunk of eternity. Bella said you might be wrestling with the morals of the question. And she asked me to come out and tell you it won't impact on her health. If anything, it'd benefit her, and probably all of us. If she's pregnant, it'll help convince people we're human even more. And she also told me to tell you that she won't get all possessive. Neither she nor Jasper want another baby - yet. And they are hardly in a position to be having one, they have to sort their lives out first. Emmett would provide the semen. I can explain that procedure, if you like. It's all basic enough. And, in my personal medical opinion, it'd have positive effects for Bella. She tells me that she's often physically stronger when she's pregnant, and that after both the birth of Edward and Lucas, she has retained a little more strength, which probably explains why she's so much stronger than any of us."

"Carlisle, there is one thing. I don't want to put a damper on all this," I say, laying a hand on Rosalie's shoulder, "but Bella said there were huge risks attached to raising a child aware of the vampire world."

"Ah, yes. James called her. He said he saw her making the decision to offer you a child. He said that if the baby was raised a vampire, it could be very powerful - but that was if Bella raised the child. Bella almost bleeds power to those she's related to. Edward's gift has improved since Bella came here - he can hear over further distances, and find one mind now. And Lucas is twice as powerful than he was when he arrived. The point is that it won't be Bella who is raising the baby. It'll be you two."

"And as neither of us have a power -"

"No power to the baby."

"Exactly. And Bella would gain from it, don't forget."

"Well, put like that -" Rose says, looking at me.

"Of course. Can hardly deny Bella a bit more strength can we? We'll be doing her a favour."

We insist upon telling Jasper and Bella together. The atmosphere is like ice in their room, and he's making their little sofa into a recliner, with a pillow and cushions. Ouch.

"I assume you have an answer?" Bella says, warmly. Jasper, perhaps wisely, stays on the other side of the room when we sit down with Bella.

"Bella, we'll never be able to thank you enough. We'll never be able to repay you, either of you -"

"Hell, Emmett, we don't want any thanks or repayment. Seeing you happy will be enough." Jasper inputs, helpfully.

"Don't you be thanking me. Like he said, my satisfaction will be making you both happy."

"Well, we'd really like to accept your insanely generous offer. And the future, with the Volturi - we'll deal with it, as it happens."

"I'll help you deal with it. So, when do you want to do this?"

"We've discussed it."

"Part of us wanted it to be straight away."

"But we decided that we wanted to wait, until Lucas has been changed. No, Bella, that's your priority. We've been waiting nearly a century. We can wait a little longer. And besides, we need to talk about names, and the nursery, and -"

"Nappies, bottles, clothes, blankets, cots, toys, formula, night feeds, day feeds, pushchairs… I warn you both now, the list is endless," Bella says. "I know it wasn't something I ever had to think of, but I still hoped it was possible, especially with Edward. No, you take as much time as you need. Oh, and I feel I should make you aware now, it may take a few tries for me to actually conceive. There's no way to determine my fertility cycle, so it's going to have to be hit-and-miss I'm afraid. I don't want you to be disappointed if it takes a few months. It was quite quick with Lucas and Edward, so maybe it won't be too hard. However, there's no way to tell. I can try and pinpoint exactly when I would have conceived, and if it's at around the same point in the month, that will be our starting point."

As we're leaving Bella and Jasper alone with their atmosphere, Lucas passes us on the stairs.

"Are they talking yet?"

"Nope, and Jasper has been relegated to the couch."

"What, she's going to make him pretend to sleep there?"

"No, they normally lie on the bed together and read. Now he has to go lie on the couch." I elaborate, taking pity after he shows his blank face. "The point is, is that he's not allowed to be on the intimate plane sharing a bed entails."

"Do you think they'll split up?"

"No way. Vampire mates Lucas, it's difficult to explain. They'll love each other for eternity. Admittedly, they have a more fiery relationship. Sure, they'll be distant and he'll probably have to spend a lot of time on that couch, but they'll make it up - eventually. Maybe you should ask Jasper about his past - in detail. It'll help you understand why he went so crazy in Italy."

"Maybe. I just needed to talk to Mom about stuff. Details of the change, all that sort of thing. I think I've got a date for it, if they're OK. And I assume, judging by the huge smile on your face Rosalie, they told you what Mom was proposing."

"Yes. And if you're sure it's cool with you -"

"What, you mean Mom having a kid she won't be leaving to an orphanage? Yeah, it's cool. Carlisle explained it all. I've got them both for eternity now. What's twenty one years, in the scheme of it all?"

Rosalie throws her arms around his neck and kisses his cheek enthusiastically. Lucas looks a little confused. Rosalie has never really been physically demonstrative toward him, and this a little shocking for him. He disentangles himself, and carries on toward his parents room.

LPOV

They're ignoring each other. He's sitting on the couch, she's reading, deliberately not looking at him. I throw myself onto the bed next to her.

"Hey Mom, Jasper." He winces.

"Hey kid."

"You OK, honey?" she asks, setting her book aside.

"Rosalie just kissed me." Bella laughs, and turns over so she's facing me. "Pretty weird, Mom." She kisses the same spot gently.

"That better?"

"Yeah, but I'm twenty one."

"And you'll always be my baby boy, and therefore open to my kisses. You love them really. Stop being such a man."

"Whatever, Mom." She swipes at my arm playfully. "Sorry."

"Too right. Did you want something in particular, or just to chat?"

"I've been thinking about my change. It's your anniversary soon, right?"

"Three weeks today, on Halloween. Twenty two years exactly." Jasper says.

"I want it to be then. Not because I want to steal your thunder, but because I thought it could be even more special for you."

"OK, honey. If that's what you want."

"And I want you both to do it. Not just one of you. Both of you, if that's possible."

"It's possible. But I wouldn't have thought -"

"That I wanted you? Look, I - look, can we talk privately?"

"Stay here," Bella says. "I am going to do some sketching and I might even crack out my knitting. I have bootees to make." She gets her basket and sketch-pad out the wardrobe, and disappears off to find Rosalie, Esme and Alice.

"Lucas, I am not going to ask you to forgive me. I have asked that of your mother. But I have no right to ask it of you."

"Like I said in Italy, it doesn't matter who you were. I don't care about Major Whitlock. I care about my Dad, and who he is now, with Mom and me. I'm too old to be your kid. I'm too old for you to sing me up and put me on your shoulders, and make everything OK with just a few words. You have to make it OK."

"You say you don't care who I was -"

"I know it. I've known for months, more or less since I got here. I had a dream, and I saw Maria, and the newborns, and the fighting. I saw Peter, and Charlotte, and someone called Harry. I saw the blood, and I felt your rage and helplessness. I saw the people you killed. I saw it all. And I know that that isn't you now. So I know, that regardless of your issues with bloodlust in the past, you aren't that man now. You're my Dad, and Mum's husband. And you've got no excuses for what you did. So I don't care what you have to do, I don't care if you have to worship the ground she walks on for the next century, do it to get her back."

"You think I wouldn't kill to get her back?"

"I don't want you to kill to get her back! I don't fucking want you to get fucking violent!" I bellow, frustration manifesting in anger. I leap to my feet at the same time he does. "I want to see you prove you bloody love her enough to move the earth to get to her. I need to see you be in love with her!"

"What do you want me to do? How have I ever led you to believe I don't love her, apart from one time? You've seen me kiss her, hold her, dance with her -"

"I've seen you _want_ her, Dad, which isn't the same! I need to see you love her, because I'm going to see you constantly for the next eternity! How am I supposed to trust you both to change me and stay forever if I don't even know if you love her? How am I supposed to do this? You weren't there for my childhood, Dad, and I need you here now. I need you both here, and I need to believe you'll both stay. I need to see you love her."

_**A/N: You might have guessed, but this story is beginning to wind down. There's still quite a few chapters to go, and just one more big drama to reveal, but it's nearly over. PLEASE review : )**_


	28. My Story

_**A/N: Well, er, hello. Please don't hate me, I know it's been ages. But I've moved into university, so I've been concentrating on that. But I am now back, and here is an update. Hope you can forgive me, and I hope you can still review :)**_

LPOV

It's nearly Halloween. Mum and Dad are talking, quietly and carefully. Just about, anyway. He's still on the couch, but at least they're talking to each other and not looking like they want to kill each other while deliberately ignoring anything said.

I'm gaming with Emmett when Rosalie comes and gets us. Her eyes are shining, and there's a spring in her step. The girls have been talking babies again. And sure enough, there are knitting patterns on the dining room table. Vampires, and they have knitting circles. Mum is arguing with Alice over colours for bootees. A completed pair of bootees, in unbelievably soft wool, are being messed with by Edward and Jasper, who each have a bootee on a finger, and are making them dance along the table-top, while speaking in silly voices. Vampires.

"Lucas, we never finished the stories. If you'd like, and if the boys have quite finished, we can carry on." Edward and Jasper look suitably chastised, and hand Esme the bootees.

"Sure." I'm looking forward to it.

Rosalie goes first, and there is immediately a change in atmosphere. Emmett takes her hands.

"I was twenty-three when I was changed. I was a rich girl, with a nice house, nice family and nice clothes. I was pretty: and that was what mattered most to me. I was very pretty, and I knew it. All I wanted was to marry a rich man and settle down and have babies. Pretty babies, of course. That was my goal. Marry well, have babies. Then my father introduced me to Royce King." Her mouth twists, and she looks feral. "Very handsome, and very, very rich. He was some years older than me, but that didn't matter. He was rich and handsome, and treated me very well - presents and flowers. I decided I loved him." Her voice is bitter. "Then, about three months after we met, we got engaged. I was happy. My dream was coming true. Of course, that was when I realised he had a drink problem, and temper issues. And it still didn't matter. He was still handsome and still rich. One day, I went to visit a friend from school - her name was Vera. She was pretty, Vera, but not as beautiful as me. Plain, even. But she'd married a man she loved - oh, they loved each other so much. So obvious, even to me. I knew Royce wasn't like that. But she and her husband had had a baby recently, and I went to see them. And their baby was so unutterably beautiful, it took my breath away. His name was Henry, he had dark curls and little dimples. In that instance, if it had been offered, I would have given up my riches, my beauty, everything, if I could marry a man like Vera's husband and have pretty babies like Henry. It was not offered, and I took my leave. It was dark, and cold. Winter. Snow. I decided I would walk home. It was only ten minutes away, and the streets were very well lit. It was the twenties - not so uncommon for a young girl to be unescorted. I ran into Royce on the way home." This time, I nearly recoil. Her voice has become a hiss, and she looks positively murderous. "Royce and his friends. Drunk, but not so drunk that they didn't know what they were doing. Royce called me over. And I went. My God, like an idiot. He grabbed me and kissed me. I knew something wasn't right. 'Isn't she beautiful?' he shouted. He groped my breasts. I pushed him away, stepped back. I told him that I would see him tomorrow. But his friends caught me, held me fast. Royce told them to have their pleasure." She doesn't carry on, but I already know. "They left me bleeding in the street. I was seriously hurt, and I somehow knew I was dying. Then the angel came." Carlisle, one more described as angel. "The angel apologised. And then it was the fire.

"I screamed rather a lot. When I realised it did no good to scream, I listened. And I heard Edward asking Carlisle why he'd done it. He sounded terribly disapproving. I didn't realise it was because it would be obvious - after all, I was Rosalie Hale, daughter of one of the richest men in town, engaged to the son of another - I thought it was because he didn't like me. I was quite offended. Nobody had ever not liked me. I decided I didn't like the other voice. I was terribly cold towards Edward when I came round. The angel explained what I was, and I was furious. I knew that I would never have the babies I'd always longed for. This is not the life I would have chosen, but I soon had reason to be glad it was chosen for me." She smiles at Emmett, and he kisses that smile. "And then I took my revenge on Royce. I stole a wedding dress - very dramatic. I went after his friends first, so he'd know, he'd know what was coming for him. I didn't spill their blood - I knew I wouldn't handle it. My record is nearly as clean is Carlisle's and Bella's - I have never tasted human blood, but I have killed. Royce locked himself in a steel room. I killed him guards, and then I went for Royce. I told him what I was, what I had become, and I relished the fear in his eyes. And I killed him, I made it very slow, and terribly painful. I still hear his screams, and they still give me all the satisfaction they gave me a century ago."

When Rosalie finishes, there is silence. She looks at me.

"I am sorry. I didn't intend to scare you." I nod. Emmett clears his throat.

"Sorry I can't be as dramatic. No, my story is OK. 1939 - the year I was changed. It was summer, and I was in the woods. I can't fully remember why I was there. My life had been one of hard labour - my family weren't well off, we had a farm in West Virginia, right near the Blue Ridge Mountains and on the borders of what is now the Jefferson National Forest. It had been uneventful, and I assumed it would always be so. I was happy and content. I was going to marry a girl, get a farm of my own, and support my family. Life planned out, no surprises, and doing everything as simply and quickly as possible." How different he is from Rosalie. "Then everything changed. I was in the woods, and I was attacked by a bear. It was damn angry about something. Probably had a run in with a hunter, or something. It was basically tearing me apart. Then something scared it off. Of course, that something was Rose. I didn't know that - and I was waiting for death. I remember being bloody angry actually - I wasn't ready, I hadn't had my life yet. Then an angel appeared, my Rosalie. She carried me away. Such incredible speed. I thought I was already dead. Then a man came - and yes, I did think it was God. Then the fire started. Rosalie spoke to me. She said what I was becoming, I believed her. If the fire was hell, I didn't care." He smiles, and takes Rosalie in his arms. "Hell isn't so bad if you get to keep an angel with you. I fell off the wagon a few times. I always felt so terrible afterwards. But hey, this is where it's all got me. I've got no complaints and no regrets."

"Who changed you?" I ask, confused, and at the same time happy. They're so sweet. "If Rosalie found you?"

"Carlisle," Rosalie says. "I didn't think I'd have the strength."

Esme goes and gets me a drink. When she gets back, I turn to Bella and Jasper.

"So, Mom, Dad. Who's going first?"

"You know our stories."

"You haven't told me them." They look at each other.

"Jasper."

"OK. First, go to the bathroom if you need to. It's long and involved. Second, don't interrupt. And third, you might want a hand to hold for this." I nod, and reach out for his hand. Bella places her hand over ours, and rests her head on his shoulder. I'm not sure if she's forgiven him, or because she knows what's coming next. "Right. I enlisted for the Confederate Army in 1861 two years too young for it. It was what I'd always wanted to do. Yes, Lucas, that does mean I was fighting, in part, against the abolition of slavery. I assure you I had no motives in that direction. I joined to join, not because I didn't want slavery abolished. I joined to fight for the honour of the South, and our right to do what we wanted, without federal interference. I am from Texas - I was deeply, deeply patriotic. Regardless, why I joined is irrelevant. Even as a human I was - charismatic is, I believe, an appropriate word to use here. People listened to me. I was promoted, promoted, then promoted again. I was a Major before I knew where I was. The youngest Major in the Confederate Army, not counting my real age." He is proud of his rank, proud of the soldier he was. He is proud of that in his past. "I was in charge of evacuating Galveston. I had escorted some citizens to safety, got a fresh horse, and rode right back. It was almost dark. I came across three young women. Three very beautiful young women. I knew they weren't from our party - I would have noticed them. I dismounted, and approached. Hat off, the whole deal. I was turnin' on the charm quite heavily." His Southern drawl is becoming more pronounced. "I asked if they needed any help. One of them spoke. 'Can you feel it?' she asked them. Another replied to her, said yes. 'Charisma' the first speaker breathed. 'We shall keep this one.' I felt no fear yet. Further conversation revealed the one who wanted to keep me was named Maria." He shudders slightly, and Bella uses her free hand to squeeze his arm. "I woke up in some kind of frenzy. Blood was all I thought of. I wanted blood. Needed it, craved it. Human blood. Maria was building an army of newborns. The American Civil War covered the Vampire Wars in the South. She needed my help to do it. I controlled the emotions of the newborns, I kept them fighting the enemy and not each other. When the first year was over, they would be killed. I would kill them. Maria and I would replace them and start again. Finally, I grew tired of my life. There must be more than killing and death and blood. I became ashamed of who I was and questioned everything. I no longer wanted to kill humans. I wanted to break away.

"I left Maria in the company of two other vampires. She made no attempt to follow me. She knew that I would not allow myself to be caught. I walked for months. I didn't know where I was going. And then came a day that changed it all. I was very thirsty, and out during the day. It made me uncomfortable. I went inside a diner, and I met another vampire. But this vampire was like no vampire I had ever seen. Her eyes were yellow. Yellow, almost gold, where mine were red. I did not understand. But she got down from her stool almost as soon as I saw her. She told me I was late. I ducked my head, and said 'sorry, ma'am.' She held out a hand to me. I took it without thinking. All I had felt for years was bloodlust and rage and murder. Now, I felt hope. I barely even understood it. Alice brought me to the Cullen's. Carlisle gave me the path I was searching for. A way to exist without killing humans.

"I struggled, and I screwed it up a lot. I killed several people - eight, to be exact. And then, almost eighty years after I met Alice and found Carlisle, another vampire moved into the area. Her name was Isabella Swan. I knew her from our childhood in Texas and I never dreamed I would see her again. But she came, and she loved what was left of me, and she built me up. She helped me find the control I needed. And I love her, more than anything on this earth. If I were given the choice between eternity without her or one more day with her, I'd take the day. I could not, would not live without her. And I owe her my life, in so many different ways."

There is quiet. Bella is holding Jasper close, he's let go of my hand and his face is in her neck, and I can see him trembling. Her lips move in response to something he said, but none of us hear it. She doesn't let him go. I get up. I don't need to hear Bella's story. What they need now is time alone. What they need now is to be together.


	29. Letting Go

BPOV

Jasper and I take a weekend out. We go to the cottage Esme built for retreats, back in Forks, where we found each other again. Nothing has changed here - the house is still there, untouched, undisturbed, weeds and ivy growing in abundance. The cottage is still there. We've both got a lot of taking to do, we've both got to get through our issues.

"I can't have a baby that isn't ours if we still can't talk to each other properly. We can't change Lucas in a week if we still can't stand the sight of each other. We need to talk, and to do that, you need to accept that I made a mistake in the past that I cannot and will not regret. And I need to forgive more easily, and I need to get past the past. I am going to try. I need to know if you will."

"I will. Bella, what I did was unforgivable and I'm not asking you to forgive it. I'm asking you to help me."

"You know I'd die for you. You know that, or you should by now. No matter how much we fight, no matter how much we argue, I will love you until they burn my body. I will love you until the day they tear me to pieces, and they will do that when I die fighting for you, for my sons, and my family. Nothing you do will stop me loving you and that won't change. We have both fucked up in our lifetimes, we have both made mistakes. What if we move on? What if, today, we start with a new slate?"

"No. We can't just have a clean slate. We need to remember, so it never happens again. And to do all that, to have a chance, we have to be totally open with each other. No more lies, no more secrets. You tell me everything, today. Or when, in a century's time, I find out another thing about you, when I find out that you have some other power, I will leave."

"I can do that for you, if you will do something in return."

"What?"

"Let go of your past. Let go of the times when you fought and killed, let that past be at rest now, so you can have a future with me, and with our son. Don't forget, I won't ask that, but remember that the past is past. What matters is the here and now, and the future."

JPOV

I understand what she means, and I know why she asks me to do this thing.

"Tell me everything." I say, and she takes a seat opposite me.

"Ask me any question. I will answer it truthfully, and you have my word."

"OK. First, what exactly is your relationship with Marcus? Why did you call him darling in Volterra? Did you love him?"

"Alright. Marcus is, in essence, my father. When I first arrived in Volterra - long before I met Demetri, long before Edward, my first time in Volterra - I was a mess. I was angry - full of anger, and a desperate need for revenge on both Jane and Caius. I trusted nobody, I would allow nobody to get close to me. Everything made me furious, Aro - Aro nearly died at my hand, simply for asking me why I was vegetarian. Marcus took me under his wing. He promised me that I would face no persuasion from him regarding my lifestyle. He allowed me to read his entire mind, all his darkest secrets. About his mate, whom Aro had murdered. Marcus showed me how to control my temper, taught me to be discreet, taught me everything I needed to know. I would be dead, were it not for Marcus. It was he who wrote to James, told him that I must be changed in order to meet you. It was he who knew about Demetri first, it was he who told me what must be done. He who told me of Edward, not Aro. Aro refused to tell me anything. Marcus told me everything, and then handed me plane tickets. Marcus taught me to trust - he was the most stable thing in my life. Your second question relates to the third - I love Marcus very, very much - not in the way I love you, but love him nonetheless. I call him darling for all the above reasons. He means much to me. I would move heaven and earth for him, as I would for you, and for everyone I love." She folds her hands and looks at me expectantly.

"When we were in Volterra, you brought up with Marcus an offer you had made him. He said that it might be time. What offer did you make him?" She looks at me sadly.

"I offered to kill him," she says, so quietly it's almost a sigh. A sad, sad sigh. "I offered, around ten years ago, that if he ever tired of this existence beyond anything worth salvaging, I would end his existence for him. He know Aro and Caius never would. So I promised him, that if I could ever do anything for him, I would do it - including giving him his release." She leans forward, takes my hands. "Don't look that way. Marcus is old, Jasper, old beyond anything you or I could imagine. He has suffered greatly in his life, and it would give him peace. It would help him. He is in pain, in pain and old and very, very sad. Would you stand and watch someone you loved, a man you saw as a father, would you stand, watch them suffer through it? Watch each day physically hurt them? I cannot do that, but I have the power to end it for Marcus, and give him peace. And one day, if he ever asked, I would go instantly. I have to say now that it would be a journey I would take alone. It would be private - Marcus wouldn't want an audience."

"I would want to come with you."

"I wouldn't tell you I was leaving. It would be private Jasper, I would do whatever I had to, to make it so."

"OK."

"What else do you want to know?"

"Caius."

"Ah, yes, Caius. Caius was there the day Jane killed Victoria, and he tried to kill James. The only reason Caius is even still existing is because I made a promise to Marcus. I swore that I wouldn't kill him, and I have kept that promise. Revenge wouldn't make me a better person. Caius enjoys evil, Caius likes to see the people he drinks from suffer. He'll inflict pain for the sake of inflicting pain. Don't make me explain any further, or I will get furiously angry. Suffice it to say here, that I despise Caius, and Caius despises me - and fears me."

"So why does Aro hate you?"

"I'm too powerful and won't join him. That's the only reason."

"How do you keep walking into Volterra?"

"Contacts. Nobody will try to kill me in Volterra - if they aren't frightened of me, they're frightened of Marcus; if they aren't frightened of Marcus, they're frightened of James; if they aren't scared of James, they're terrified of you. It all balances out."

"They're scared of me?"

"Every vampire in the world knows your name, Jasper. Every vampire knows about Major Whitlock. The compassionate fighter, the soldier of the Wars. Ruthless, dangerous, brave, all these have described you. They wrote your name down in history with permanent ink, you will never be forgotten. And now, we are married, and I have a reputation almost as terrifying as yours is. Lucas and Edward will be remembered, stories will be told about Bella Whitlock's sons, and the son of Major Whitlock. Already the Volturi guard fear what Lucas may become, fear what potential he holds because he is our son. Aro knows that power will emerge in him when we change him."

"Then why did they make us change him?"

"Aro believes that Lucas will join him. He believes that Lucas will never be able to forgive us fully for what we did, and that he will join him."

"Will he?"

"I don't know. Not even we can see all the future. I wouldn't think so. I doubt he would go to Aro."

BPOV

The weekend is quiet, and we don't do much. We talk a lot, about who we are, who we are together. I know that I love him, that I love him too much to ever let him go. I know that no matter where we go from here, from right now, we have to go there together. Never mind his past, never mind my past. Our son needs a future, and we need to give it to him.


	30. My Birth

APOV

Halloween is cloudy and cold. Bella and Jasper are whispering in the kitchen, vampire-quiet, so nobody in the living room can hear them talking. I'm guessing it's about the attempts to get Bella pregnant. They've agreed to start trying as soon as Lucas wakes up, and they have an idea of the situation. Rose is leaning none too subtly towards the kitchen, trying to listen in. Emmett is chatting with Carlisle about what exactly he's got to do. Me and Edward are talking to Lucas. He doesn't seem nervous - until the kitchen door opens, and Bella steps through. We all get up in unison. It's their moment now, their private thing.

The last thing I see is Bella take Lucas by the hand.

BPOV

"Are you sure about this?" I ask him, softly.

"Yes. I'm sure, and I trust you."

"Do you want to know how we'll do this, or do you want us to just get on with it?" Jasper asks, watching him. Lucas sits up straighter, and looks right back.

"Just do it," he says softly.

Jasper sits on Lucas' other side, and we both lean in at the same time. I pick up both wrists, and Jasper finds the pulse on his neck. I close my eyes, and bite.

LPOV

Bella runs her mouth across my wrists, and at first I feel nothing. The blood wells briefly, but when she runs the flat of her tongue across the wounds, they seal. I feel Jasper bite my neck, right over the pulse, and that hurts more. When he seals the wound, he pushes me backwards, making me lie down. My heartbeat is getting louder in my ears. Suddenly, the fire erupts in my chest, and my eyes close, and I scream.

Incredible, indescribable pain. I am burning, I am going to die. I will not survive this. In between screams, I hear Bella talk to Jasper, worry, concern, fear. I try very hard not to scream, but every time the noise is ripped from me. Such fire. It hurts, and I hear myself begging them for death before I can stop myself. I never thought I could be lucid and in such pain. I hear other voices as the moments pass. Carlisle, Esme, Alice and Edward. Rose begging me not to scream. I want to tell them I can hear them, talk to them, but I can't. I no longer know how much time has passed.

Finally, everything becomes clearer. I realise I can move fingers and toes. The pain is receding, my heartbeat increasing.

"Carlisle, how much longer?" Jasper sounds impatient.

"Soon. Within the hour. Just listen to that heartbeat, it's so vital. Stronger than Emmett's ever was."

"Hey, I resent that." I can only listen, to voices so clear, sounds so sharp. I realise I can hear Esme downstairs, talking to Alice. I hear every word as if it were shouted in my ear. I can hear a rhythmic clicking, a clock ticking, cars driving by. I can hear the main road, the main road that's over a mile away. I can smell a soft, summery scent, a coconut scent, new mown grass, and something that smells like a cross between motor oil and sawdust. I realise I know who these smells are - Bella smells like summer, roses and violets; Jasper smells like coconut and lemon; Carlisle like the grass in spring time; and Emmett smells like motor oil and new sawdust. My arms and legs are free, and the pain is increasing in my chest. With a sudden surge of panic, I know it's gone wrong. My heart won't take it. I'm going to die.

My heart explodes. And I realise that I am still alive. I open my eyes cautiously. I'm still on their bed. I study the ceiling. I can see every detail of the wood, and the grains, how they meshed to form the wood. I see the bulb, glowing filaments, every colour of the spectrum, and a colour I have no name for. I process this in less than a second. I am also aware that I am surrounded, and that I must defend. I leap off the bed and land on the opposite side on the room, feather light and fast as lightening. Emmett and Jasper are in defence mode, ready to subdue someone. Bella is next to them but slightly behind, and Carlisle is behind her. I straighten up, and Jasper moves with me, hands held out to show he isn't a threat to me. I can see him properly for the first time. Scars, hundreds of scars. What has he been through? I can see that he is handsome. And then Bella, Bella who even now is taking steps towards me.

"Mom," I say, marvelling at my voice. "Mom, you're beautiful." She laughs.

"Wait until you see Rose." I look at Emmett, seeing muscles that I hadn't ever noticed. Forest ranger body, I note. And then Carlisle, like an angel.

"Where's everyone else?" I say, slowly, listening to the thick texture of my voice and relishing it.

"We didn't want to crowd the new-born," Emmett says. "We can go get them." He slips out, although he could have just called. The noise downstairs has ceased, then I hear light steps, and Alice, Esme and Rose come in. Bella was right, Rose is breathtaking.

"Are you thirsty?" Jasper asks, watching me. As he mentions thirst, my throat rips into flames.

"I am now."

"What do you mean?"

"He's like me," Bella breathes. "He's like I was when I woke up. Thirst doesn't register until it's mentioned."

"He would be." Jasper looks at me. "Better take him hunting anyway."

"You take me," I say, addressing Jasper. "You take me." Bella doesn't look surprised or upset that I've chosen Jasper - she would have gleaned the thought from my head. I want Jasper because he can explain lack of control. But for the first time, I want Bella to not be able to read my thoughts. I imagine a wall, and imagine pushing her from my mind. She raises her eyebrows.

"He's shielding," she says, matter-of-factly. "Cheeky brat."

"Bit of privacy, eh, Mom?" She beams.

"Go on, you two. Be off with you. Jasper, start small."

For the first time, I understand why the others don't hit the trees when they run. Everything is crystal clear, even at the speed I move at. I outrun Jasper easily, only stopping when I realise he has. He's quite far behind me, and I run back to him.

"As lovely as your enthusiasm is, I don't think going to Canada is a great plan. Stay here, and inhale. What can you smell?" I smell trees, sap, grass, mud. I smell water and, and something rich and earthy. "What can you hear?" I hear wind, I hear a field mouse somewhere. I hear a heartbeat. It is coming from the earthy smell.

"I smell something earthy, and I hear a heartbeat. In the trees, up ahead. It's big. It smells OK."

"It's an elk. It smells less appealing than a carnivorous animal would." I go after the sound and smell, determined to find the elk. It's grazing peacefully, and I feel venom well in my mouth. I lunge for it, and it's frightened bellow echoes around the woods. I sink my teeth into a pulsing artery, and blood fills my mouth.

JPOV

I feel a strong sense of pride watching Lucas hunt. So graceful, so silent. He looks uncannily like me when he's hunting. When he stands up, he's slightly covered in blood.

"Won't you hunt?" he asks, his voice shimmering around us. It's deepened, thickened, he speaks now like his voice is thick cream, a voice that he'll break hearts with when we introduce him to the human world. Scottish accent is still there. It'll soften with time, but like Bella's and like mine, he'll never lose it completely. Bella still pulls out the Southern girl charm when she wants to.

"I will. I don't like the herbivores."

"What's your favourite?" he asks, curiously.

"Wolf, like your mothers. Actually, if we go far enough, we could probably find some. Emmett prefers bear, Edward likes mountain lion, Carlisle likes deer best. Not too sure about the girls." I watch him closely. He looks pretty much done already. "Or we could go back."

"Back. I want to see Mom again." I smile at him, feeling what he feels - a sense of being apart, anxiety.

"She's one of your creators, and your mother on top of it. The maternal bond has been strengthened by the change, and it'll be like that for a while. That's how I feel, every minute I'm not with her. I need her like humans need air."

"Dad, will there be someone for me, like you have Mom?"

"Oh, I expect so. Vampire mates are a very, very complex thing. I warn you, you might find her tomorrow, or in the next century. It all depends. She might not even exist yet."

"Oh."

"Lucas, is there something I should know?"

"Sort of," he says, putting his hands in his trouser pockets. I raise an eyebrow at him. "Dad, I don't thing _she _will do anything for me." I don't get it, and I convey that through a puzzled frown. "OK, lets try this - I'm more a butt guy than a breasts guy."

"Lucas, what are you blithering on about?"

"Oh for Christ sakes, Dad, I would be more likely to shag Emmett than Rosalie!"

"What, you mean you're gay?"

"Yes! God, you're slow. That going to be a problem, I mean I know you're from a different century and all." He keeps his hands in his pockets and fidgets about. "Dad, please say something."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, very sure."

"OK."

"Just OK?"

"You've sort of -well, I -"

"Dad, if it bothers you, just say."

"It doesn't bother me, it's just I've never even heard of gay vampires. I mean, we all experiment -"

"You do?"

"I'm nearly two hundred years old - yes, we experiment. But I've never heard of actual gay vampires."

"So I might never find anyone?" He looks defeated.

"I'm not sure," I say, deciding honesty is the best policy. "Your mother and Carlisle know more about it all - we could ask them."

"Sure. I mean, you'll all find out eventually." He shrugs, then puts his head on one side. "What is that smell, Dad?" I inhale, and it hits me like a truck.

"Fuck," I hiss.

Humans.


	31. My Future

_**A/N: Jasper is from the 1800's - of course he isn't OK with his son being gay.**_

RPOV

I'm hovering, I know that. Point of fact - Bella and Carlisle have been messing around with syringes for well over fifteen minutes. How long can it possibly take to fill a syringe with Emmett's semen, and then inject it into Bella? Emmett is standing right behind me, having done his job - with help, may I add - half an hour ago. Jasper is downstairs - he, Edward and Lucas are planning a little hunting trip. They did ask Emmett and Carlisle to go, have a boys weekend, leaving us girls "to your knitting circle". Emmett said no, and Carlisle said he'd rather stay. Bella raised her eyebrows at Jasper, who gave her a sheepish smile and blew her a kiss. She took the news about Lucas better than Jasper did.

They'd just got back from Lucas' first hunting trip, and Jasper had looked a little dazed.

"Jay, you OK?" Bella asked quietly. Jasper had finally let the 1800's take over shock, and he'd pointed at Lucas, and said, with a voice that cracked quietly.

"He's _gay_."

"You said you didn't have an issue!" Lucas had snarled, his hands shaking and eyes darkening with anger. Bella nodded at Emmett, who hauled Lucas outside. Esme didn't want anything broken. She'd then turned on Jasper, and the light was blazing in her eyes.

"Outside."

"But -"

"Outside. Esme would probably prefer it if I threw you into a tree, and not through a window."

The row that followed involved both Bella and Lucas screaming at Jasper, and Bella having to wrestle her son to the ground more than once. The agreement reached in the end was that Jasper would adjust and would not mention his disagreements. Bella had pointed at him and accused him of being a Neanderthal moron with difficulties. Their son was gay, and she for one was fine with it. He'd find himself a mate no trouble - he was her son, and she wouldn't rest until he was happy. Jasper could put up or shut up. Lucas had rejoined the conversation: Jasper had been just fine with him until he knew about his sex life - he could stay fine, thank you very much.

There had been awkward moments, until Emmett slapped Jasper around a little and told him to get over it. He hadn't exactly been brought up in the modern days, and Carlisle had been around when it was a hanging offence - and neither of them gave a damn. Nobody cared apart from him - could he kindly wake the hell up? Besides, he knew Jasper had had his own experiments, as they all had, so he was being a touch hypocritical.

Now they're downstairs, and plotting to go hunting and create havoc somewhere. And I'm here, leaning against the door of Carlisle's study, listening to - silence? Suddenly there is a giggle.

"Bella, keep _still_." Carlisle sounds impatient.

"It tickles!"

"It's a syringe!"

"And you just hit my cervix with it. Will you mind where you're putting that thing."

"I am minding, it'd be easier if you quit fidgeting."

"My ankles are in the air and you're brandishing a syringe between my legs. It's kind of hard to keep still, I'm getting all self conscious. Just put it in and _inject."_

"It's a delicate procedure, it must be done properly. Now keep the hell still, this time -"

"Ooooo, Carlisle, is that a syringe you have there or are you just pleased to see me?"

"Bella!" There's another silence. "Done it. We should know -"

"By the end of the month. Can I go now? I'm getting a little tired of your syringe penetrating me."

"Yes, you can go now."

She opens the door and strolls out. Carlisle is shaking his head in despair at her back.

"How'd it go?"

"Well, Carlisle had this syringe, I had my ankles in the air and my legs apart and he stuck said syringe -" It's my turn to shake my head in despair.

"Thanks for that, Bella."

"You asked."

"I meant did it go _well," _I say.

"If you mean, did he successfully inject Emmett's little soldiers, yes. We won't know if it's worked until the end of the month. If it doesn't, hello Doctor Syringe." She ambles off in the general direction of Jasper.

"Bella, I am pretty damn sure I told you weren't allowed to have sex with Jasper. I don't want a paternity test on my hands, you're a terrible patient."

"Good grief, I only want to cuddle with him before he goes. There's more than one reason he's going, you know."

She promptly cuddles, and then they get going that night. Bella is left to burrow into the sofa like a cat, and she starts reading some dusty tome of Jasper's.

She suggests a hunting trip later, and Emmett goes with her. They come back covered in blood and leaves. Bella looks pensive about something, and retreats to her room.

"She got a phone call."

"From the boys?"

"She didn't say. She just got the phone call. Whoever it was said something - really quiet too, I didn't catch it - and then put the phone down, without giving her a chance to say anything."

"Did she do anything else?"

"She sent someone a text message. Then she said we had to go, and we did."

She doesn't explain it, but then she disappears.

BPOV

I have to leave them, but it's for only two days. I don't leave a note. November is coming to an end. I know that it wasn't successful already - I'm not pregnant. It'll break Rosalie's heart, but there's something I have to do first. I fly to L.A., and arrive just after sunset. I go see a lawyer, a lawyer who has dealt with me for several years. He knows not to ask questions about why I never change, never age. He believes I have a very good plastic surgeon, and I let him think that. I'm here to arrange paper's - a passport and driver's licence, birth certificate and number. They're for Lucas, so he can go to high school with us next September, when we move again. Alexander Swan is sixteen going on seventeen - Lucas can just about pass for seventeen, albeit an old looking one. As a joke, I also have the man do a fake licence, saying he's 21. He can pretend to be a typical teen. He doesn't ask me any questions, and I pick up the documents the next day. But there's more than one reason I'm not telling anyone about this trip.

I wait for him in a seedy, poorly-lit back street bar. She's late, and I almost believe she won't turn up.

"Isabella."

"You have been watching my family. Since I met Jasper. You followed Edward and Jasper the day Jasper nearly lost control. You were in Norway, when I took Jasper to James."

"You are as good as they say."

"What do you want with my husband?"

"Who said I wanted your husband? You have something that belongs to me, Isabella, and I want it back."

"I have nothing of yours."

"You have my gift, and you have him."

"I took your gift for the safety of this world, and I do not have him. He has me."

"You don't think I deserve to see him again."

"Maria, what did you expect to happen here? You'd rock back into his life after nearly one hundred years, and he'd just go with you? He'd just willingly follow you? He had a whole life between then and now."

"He has a son."

"Touch our son, and I will kill you. You know enough of me to fear me, so know this. Leave us alone. Never come near us again."

"Isabella, he will turn from you, from your precious son. The life he led will forever be part of him, and eventually it will call him back. He will be mine again, before the end."

"No, he will not. That is not the man he is."

"You are forgetting I am the one who gave him life. I brought him into this world, you have me to thank for his miserable existence!"

"I will thank you for nothing. He was never yours."

"I beg to differ. All the times he had his hands on me, all the times we made love together. He told me he loved me, Isabella. A vampire does not say that without cause." I let the silence drag out between us, and I look upon the woman who is responsible for my Jasper.

"He loved you, I don't deny it. But he loved you before he came to see you for what you truly are - a monster. Now he has me, and he has our son, and he has his family."

"And you believe you can hold onto him?"

"I know I can. Maria, look around you. Not just at this world, but at our world, the world of immortals. Nobody fights over land any more. You're the past. He's of no more use to you. And I would not give you back what I took in a thousand, million years. You would use pregnancy as a weapon, and I cannot let you do that."

"Isabella, is he happy?"

"Yes."

I watch her go. I wonder if she really did love him, in her way. I wonder what it was like the night he left. I choose not to read her mind for the thought. It's not my business. I'll tell him what happened here, and that she's been watching. If he wants to go after her, he can.

I catch a flight back to my family, and show them the document's I got Lucas. The boys got back while I was away, and Lucas greatly appreciates the idea of the "fake" ID. I tell Jasper about Maria.

"Will she come here?"

"No," I say, framing his face in my hands. "She won't."

"OK."

"If you want to see her, I'll understand."

"No, you wouldn't. But it doesn't matter, because I don't. sShe is my past, but you and Lucas are my now, and my future."


	32. I Am Proud

_November 31__st_

_My Dearest Isabella,_

_I write to wish you the very best in the world. We received Carlisle's letter informing us that you and Jasper have changed Lucas, and I write to offer him good wishes. I hear he is very like his mother in some respects, and an image of Jasper in others. He has wonderful parents and he will be a very good immortal, I am sure. I also know that you and Jasper are once more a steady couple. I would like to say that it is wonderful to see you happy, with your mate. Nobody deserves happiness more than you. I hope very much that Jasper fulfils your dreams, and I know that you'll have a long and happy existence together._

_But I also write with an ulterior motive. I have grown tired of the world, and as you know, I have been tired of it for several decades now. I look at this world - both immortal and mortal - and I see nothing worth remaining for. I am tired, Isabella, and no amount of living is going to change that. I lost my spark of life the day Aro murdered Elizabeth. You saw that I was tired when nobody else did so, and you were kind enough to offer me rest. I want to take that offer up now. The Volturi ended centuries ago, Isabella, and it is far beyond time to disband it. The world of the immortals no longer need a higher council to govern. All you will have to do to ensure peace is make certain that every vampire in the world knows about the Cullen family - which they already do. You, Jasper and Carlisle will become the unofficial heads of this world of ours - James has seen it and told me of it. You must order the Volturi to disband - but only after you have given me eternal sleep. _

_I put my trust entirely in your hands, along with my life - just as you gave me your trust so long ago. I know that, out of every vampire in this world, I can trust you to do what I want you to do. I need you to end my life, beyond Aro's reach, beyond Caius' influence. It is long overdue. I am too old to carry on, and so horribly tired. Promise me only two things - that you'll make sure it is private, and that you won't cry. Remember that I wanted - needed it. Remember that you are going to be helping me. I know that your gifts will ensure I'll pass over safely, although neither of us can say with any certainty what will lie beyond for me. But with luck, Elizabeth will be there, and if that's all I'll get, that'll do me just fine. I don't want words, and I don't want memorials. If you can remember my name, that will be everything I've ever needed - knowing that I at least helped somebody in my otherwise fruitless existence. _

_I am proud of who you have become, and what you've done with your existence. I am proud that you've beaten the odds and you've made the family you always swore you'd have. Jasper and Lucas - and Edward - are all men I'd be proud to say I loved. Edward is a reflection of you in a million ways, even if nobody else sees them, and even if you didn't raise him. He has his mother's courage, and her vulnerability too. And Lucas - when I saw Lucas, I saw Jasper first, but as soon as he spoke, I heard you. His mother's spirit, his father's instincts. I would be proud to call either of them my son. But the thing I am most proud of is you - the closest thing I have ever had to a daughter and the person - after Elizabeth - that I loved most. Perhaps we'll see each other again. I hope we do, but I hope it isn't for centuries yet. You go, you live a long, happy life, with your Jasper, your sons, and your family._

_All I ask from you is to let me sleep. My darling, darling Isabella, I am grateful that, before I became too tired to care, I met you. You gave me the strength I needed to carry on for a few more years. I know that I ask something huge from you now, but I know you'll do what's right. _

_I love you, with all that is left of me to love._

_Marcus. _


	33. Safe Journey, My Love

APOV

I watch Bella pack with a faint stirring of prophecy at my heart. Something screams at me that this isn't right - that something will change forever with this trip. I know why she has to go. She sat us all down the day she got that letter. She told everyone the promise she made Marcus nearly a century ago. And she told us why she had to go, and why she had to go alone. Jasper doesn't like it - he wants to go with her.

"Bella, what if something happens? What if Aro catches you?"

"Aro will not stop me, Jasper. He cannot stop me."

"Let me come to Italy with you. Not to Volterra, just to Italy."

"No. Jasper, you promised me. I have to do this alone. It's what he wants, and it is his last wish."

"But -"

"No, Jasper. You can't come with me this time. I will be back, in three days, I will be back. Look after Lucas, make sure -"

"Mom, I don't need looking after."

"Jasper, look at me. Don't follow me."

"Let me at least drive you to the airport."

"No."

She left, and Emmett looked Jasper right in the eyes and just shook his head. Jasper's shoulder's slumped.

"Dad, you know she'll be OK. She's Mom. Going after her now won't make you feel any better. You'll just get more wound up because she will get angry and start yelling."

"I know. Trust me, I know."

BPOV

I feign sleep on the plane to Italy. The car will be waiting at the airport, organised by Marcus, parked in the long stay garage, keys under the left hand front wheel arch. I know I can get from the terminal to the car without being exposed to daylight, and I won't be noticed. I know what I promised, al those years ago. But making the promise and actually having to go through with it are two very different things. I want peace, not stewardesses offering me Coke and peanuts.

Italy is clouded up. It's like even the weather knows where I'm going, and is mourning for me. I shift uncomfortably in the car, then realise why that movement is totally wrong. I'm a vampire. I am never uncomfortable. It feels like something deep in my stomach is rolling, moving. I put my hand on my belly. So it worked. I'm pregnant. I contemplate calling Rose and Emmett right away, but then realise at least one of them would try and insist upon joining me. Great timing.

I drive to Volterra, and then pull to a stop right outside the city walls. Demetri.

"What do you want?" I demand, pulling up beside him. I wouldn't be able to out-drive him.

"I know why you're here."

"Good for you," I say sarcastically. "And?"

"Thank you?"

"For what? Not stuffing your balls down your throat last time I was here?"

"No, for giving Marcus what he needs." We face each other down.

"Get in the car." He does so, and I pull away. "You'll keep Aro and Caius away, while I help him?"

"Of course. Just like old times. I keep Aro and Caius busy, while you and Marcus hatch out some plot together." I choose not to acknowledge that illusion and also to ignore the sideways look he gives me.

"Just don't let Aro touch you. I don't need him getting wind and interrupting."

"I know, I know. Done this before."

"Stop doing that."

"Sorry." He's silent, but I can hear what he's thinking.

"You don't have to apologise any more. It's the past, what's done is done. Jasper has moved on, although I don't expect he ever wants to see you again."

"Do I get to see my son?"

"If you want to see him, you can. You know you can. You know I know what you're thinking, quit tiptoeing."

"Does he hate me?" I stop the car at the side of the road and turn to him.

"No. He doesn't hate you. He doesn't hate me either, by some miracle. He's confused. Edward doesn't understand why - and he doesn't blame you for not knowing."

"I want to see him again. I don't want to be his father. I can't be his father - like you can't be his mother. But I would like to be his friend."

"Come back with me, when I am finished here."

"I know what Marcus asks of you, in addition to his peace."

"Will you stop me?"

"I will not. It isn't up to me, and I agree with him. This has gone on for far too long. You and Jasper will make fine senior figures. So will Carlisle. I trust you, even if sometimes I don't understand you."

I drop him off at the main entrance and drive the car around the corner. I keep to shadow - the sun has come out now - and slip through a side entrance. I'll go in the back way. Up the back stairs, through the corridors and thereby straight to his room. I don't want to run into anyone.

He's watching the flames crackle. His balcony faces sheer cliff and open country. We won't be observed by anyone. I walk up to him, and slip my arms around his waist, resting my head on his shoulder. He kisses my forehead lightly.

"You came."

"I promised." We're silent for a little while. My throat constricts. "It's not too late -"

"Hush, my Isabella. Don't cry and don't try and talk me out of this. It's been time for some time now. All you have to do is this one thing for me."

"How?"

"Just do it. Please." He looks down at me and his eyes are very deep, and very dark. He looks more human now than he has done for all the years I've known him. He doesn't look sad or scared. He looks peaceful. The frown has gone from his face, the shadows seem gone from beneath his eyes. He looks so young, and so happy, that I know that this is what I have to do. He's already halfway to paradise. His mind is already back in the arms of Elizabeth, already sharing the dances with her that they danced centuries ago. He's halfway there - who am I to tell him that he cannot go all the way? Who am I to tell him that I can't do this?

I reach up, slipping my arms around his neck. I hug him tight, and he puts his arms around me in return.

"Thank you," he whispers, and I can hear the smile in his voice. I tighten my arms and wrench very quickly. The sound of grinding fills the room, and my breath catches. I lower to my knees, taking him with me, and feel his weight against me. I hold his head in my hands, and I look down at it. His eyes are closed, and he is asleep, the smile lingering on.

I'm as quick as possible. The door opens just as I'm placing him into the embrace of flames. It's over, and I stand and watch the fire flare and dance. I take the necklace from my pocket, and look down at it. It's his crest, the crest of the family he once had. He gave it to me a long time ago, and now I know it is time. I put it on, letting it rest above my heart.

"Is it done?" I meet Aro's eyes.

"Demetri was meant to be distracting you two." I am not stupid, and I turn back to the flames. They knew this day was coming. They would have found out I was here alone, and that that could mean only one thing. "It is done, and he has peace. He's with Elizabeth, and they are dancing again, Aro. And this time, you cannot stop them."

"I -" I hold up my hand.

"I don't care to hear your reasons. I don't want to know why you separated them. But know this, Aro: I would not be here today if you had stayed your hand all those years ago." I watch him, and he drops his gaze first. "Summon the full guard. I have business yet to do."

Whispers face me, and eyes of all shades are turned to me. I take a moment to run my hand over the crest on the back or Marcus's chair on the dais at the end of the room.

"Marcus is at rest. It is over for him, as it is over for you."

"What do you mean, Isabella?" A voice calls. "What does over mean? Will you kill us?"

"Why would I kill you? I am not here to kill. I came for two reasons and two reasons only. I came to grant Marcus his dying wish, and I came to carry out the final act of the Volturi. You will disband. No more Volturi, no more higher power. This world does not need a guard any more. You have all seen it - it has become too easy to evade you. With the rise of gifted vampires and the advancement of the human world, the Volturi is more of a threat than it is a prevention of threat. Large groups can no longer be taken as food. The disappearances have become too obvious. Any insane vampire will be dealt with by the nearest sane vampire. Already too much energy is used tracking down these vampires. We no longer need a higher power. All of us know the rules, and there are vampires in this world who are feared enough to control any threats that may arise."

"Like who?"

"Like Major Jasper Whitlock, like me and like Carlisle Cullen."

"You'll become rulers?"

"No. We will become mainstays. The final step if something becomes out of control. And it will never get that far. You know it. My name, and the name of my husband, will be enough to maintain peace and order. You will not be hunted. I do not wish to kill anyone. You are free to go your separate ways and live your own lives."

"I am with Isabella," a voice breaks from the silence, and all turn to look for the source. It is Felix, pushing his way through the crowd. "I'd like a life outside this place. I want my chance to be myself."

"Me too."

"And I."

"I also." One by one, the Volturi agree with me, and my shoulders relax slightly. Then I look over at Aro, Caius, Jane and Alec, the only ones who have not spoken.

"Jane, Caius. We will call any quarrel I have with you at an end. I will seek no retribution, and no consequences. But if I hear from either of you again, if I hear you have been seeking to disturb the order, I will come for you, I will find you, and I will kill you. It is your choice now."

"I'm with Isabella," Alec says, his voice quiet as he turns to his sister. "It's over. It was over long ago."

"Anyone who wants to come back with me now, and try a different way of life, you are welcome. My husband is living proof that the way we live is not easy, but is possible for anyone. I am happy to take anyone who wants to with me now. And if you decide, in a centuries time, that you want to join us then, then you may do so. I'm sure we won't be hard to find."

Aro and Caius have agreed to leave. I watch them leave the city that night, under cover of the darkness. I remain behind to finish one last act. I walk the silent corridors, and go back into Marcus's room. The fire has died, only the ashes remain. Sweeping them into a heap, and gathering them up, I cross the balcony. Opening my hands, I et the wind snatch them, swirling them away into nothing. For one second, they form a man, and his eyes are open, his mouth smiling, it's almost a wave as they wind scatters him.

"Safe journey, my love," I whisper, searching for him. He isn't there, he has passed on, to whatever may be beyond for us, for everyone. He is happy.


	34. Refusals and Revelations

The plane flight home is long, and I spend it in silence. Demetri seems to sense that I don't want to chat, don't want to talk about anything. But just as the plane is touching down in New York, he takes my hand.

"Bella, you don't have to be sad now. You aren't carrying the weight of your promise any more. Marcus has found his happiness, and your husband and your sons are with you. You have your family. Be brave, Bella."

We run in silence, run to the house on the shores of Lake Michigan.

"You move everywhere, don't you?"

"Anywhere remote, anywhere where the weather is bad enough for us to live a relatively normal life. Wait here - I must let them know we're coming."

"Why, what will they do?"

"The last time Jasper saw you, he would not have hesitated to kill you. And Edward deserves some warning and the chance to refuse you. I will go, and I will tell them you are here."

"And then you'll come back for me?"

"No, I will call you. You will know, Demetri." I leave him there, and go into the house.

Jasper is still pacing the living room. I think he's been there since I left.

"Bella, thank god," he exclaims, on the opening of the door. He sweeps me up into his arms.

"I told you I would be fine, Jasper. Where is Edward?"

"Edward, why do you need Edward?"

"Reason's are reasons."

"Bella, don't start the guessing games."

"Oh, fine. Demetri is here. And don't give me that look. When I - when he has seen Edward, and when he's gone, you will understand. But now is not the time, so where is Edward?"

"In the garden, with Alice."

"Thank you."

He's not happy, but right now, Jasper's hissy fits are the least of my worries. All I want to do is get Demetri out of the way, and then tell Emmett and Rose that it's worked, and that I'm pregnant. All I want is to sit with my family, and grieve.

"Edward, can I speak to you?"

"Bella, when did you get back?" Alice demands, obvious relief in her voice. She jumps up and hugs me tightly.

"About two minutes ago. It's done, it's over. But I need to speak with Edward."

"What is it?"

"There is someone here who wants to see you again. And don't worry, you don't need to see him."

"Demetri?"

"Yes. He's within calling distance, but he cannot hear us now. If you don't want to see him, you need not."

"He's here? Here, right now, Demetri is here?"

"Yes."

"But he is Volturi. Has he come with the guard?"

"No, he is here alone. I will explain. But now is not the time. Shall you see him?"

"No. I don't need to see him, Bella. I said everything I needed and wanted to say in Volterra."

_-Demetri, it's Bella. Think your reply, I'll hear it. I'm sorry, but he doesn't want to see you. I can't make him, but I asked, and that's all I can do. I'm sorry - bit I think that deep down you knew what he'd say. Come and visit, sometime? I'm sure we won't be hard to find. And the offer still stands - if you ever want a different life, come to us. We'll help._

_-Bella, at least you tried. Thank you for at least that. And I will keep the offer in mind - but I don't think it's for me. Maybe if I want a challenge in a century or two, I'll look you up. But I will come back and visit. _

_-Goodbye, then. Good luck. _

He doesn't respond, and I know he's gone already. I doubt he even stayed. Edward takes my hand.

"You know, Bella, you never put your shield up these days."

"I know."

"It's up now."

"I know."

I sit down with all the Cullen's in the living room. This is something for us as a family.

"Marcus is at rest. I fulfilled my promise to him, and now it is over. Please, I don't want to talk about it, not yet. There is something important you must all know."

"I assume it has something to do with why Demetri was here alone?" Carlisle asks me, quietly. I meet his eyes. "Bella, we both know that the only time a member of the Volturi could be unescorted is when -"

"The Volturi no longer exists. It's over. Marcus' final request of me was that I would disband the Volturi. They have gone their separate ways."

"Something was coming, I could feel it."

"Yes, Alice. Now tell me, what do you see?"

"The future. Unchanged from before you left." She looks at me, then at Rose and Emmett. "Well, not entirely unchanged."

"Bella -" Rose half-cries, rising from her chair.

"It worked. I'm pregnant."


	35. Christmas Snow

**A/N: So, this is the final chapter of _Teaching_. This fic has been my baby for quite a long time. And now it's finished, and I'm letting it fly free and untouched. Oh my God, I sound like a neurotic mother. Anyway, this one is quite important to me. It's my longest fic, and in a way, it's been my favourite to write. I know that it is one of the less challenging fictions that I've written - it's hardly on the emotional level as _On A Sparrow's Wings _or _Target Protection _or _Darkness Falls_. But, as the longest fic and I've genuinely had fun with it. I honestly have. I've loved how much you guys have all responded to it, how much feedback I've had for it. I love that, I love how you've all responded, how different reactions have been. I love that you've all taken the time to read, review, and get enraged about it. I love that some of you have stuck with me since the first chapter, even though I have been terrible at updating, and unreliable, but some of you have still stuck by me. And I love the readers who review telling me how they just found the story, and that they liked it. Wow, this is getting very Oscar-winner-speech. I'm going to stop. But seriously, thank you all, so, so much for caring enough to read this story. So with this chapter, I'm letting _Teaching_ fly the nest. That's it, no more. Sequel? No. Maybe one day, there will be a spin off. Maybe. But definitely no sequel. So, in celebration of _Teaching_ reaching maturity and adulthood, I'm going to request one thing: please get this story to the total of 400 reviews.**

**Thank you all : )**

Christmas Snow

CPOV

"Where am I putting the tree, Esme?"

"In the corner, Emmett, just by the fireplace. Oh, Jasper, put those holly branches on the dining room table, the girls are busy with the centre-pieces. Carlisle, the fairy lights are Alice's area, ask her what she wants done with them. Edward, go and get that box of decorations, and put them down somewhere near the tree, then help Carlisle with the lights." The house is full of life and noise. The girls are laughing in the kitchen, making wonderful looking designs using holly and ribbons. Jasper returns from a second trip with mistletoe. I snag a branch and flit over to Esme, holding it over her head.

"It is tradition, darling," I smile, and she reaches up and kisses me. Emmett wolf-whistles, weaving tinsel around the banisters. Bella comes through from the kitchen, holding a lovely piece in her hands, putting it over the fireplace.

"Bella, where do you want this mistletoe?"

"Oh, just shove it down. We'll find a home for it." I throw the branch I'm holding to Bella, and Jasper turns around to find her holding it up and smiling. He sweeps her into his arms and kissing her enthusiastically. Lucas mimes being sick, and carries on making paper chains. He insists that this is very necessary. As a result, the house is festooned with coloured chains, and looks rather merry. I sigh happily. Christmas isn't something we make such a huge deal out of. But this year is different. So Esme and Alice have gone into overdrive, and the house is alive with laughter and the smell of fresh pine needles, holly and mistletoe. Bella is loving it, and her and Jasper seem to have found a new lease of life. It's like twenty years ago again. They don't see anything but each other, they fall in love again every day.

But the biggest change is Rosalie and Emmett. It's been two months of laughter, cameras and baby clothes. Their beautiful baby boy has enchanted everyone, and Rosalie seems hypnotised by him. She never takes her eyes off him unless she's hunting, and as soon as she gets back, he's back in her arms. I don't think he's been put down once since his birth. He's beautiful. He is the spit of Emmett. Literally, exactly like him. Blue eyes, dark curls. Rosalie is in love, and she radiates happiness. Jasper practically glues himself to her every time she comes round to show her treasure off. Bella loves watching them together. She makes him hundreds of outfits. I'm not sure if anything has been shop brought. Everything is hand-made. Bella, it transpires, is excellent at making clothes. She and Alice have set up an internet business, and are making insane amounts of money. Today, he's wrapped in the softest knitted cashmere blanket I have ever seen. Jacob Isaac McCarty. His dungarees and soft denim and his shirt is cotton. The front pocket of the dungarees has a panda on it, embroidered in wool. He's adorable. He's currently sleeping in Esme's arms, but he'll be wanting a feed soon. Christmas is for him, so it gave everyone an excuse to spend money. Jacob will be spoilt to within an inch of his life tomorrow. It's Christmas Eve.

BPOV

It's lovely. Esme takes over Rose's place at the table, and she and Emmett fight over whose turn it is to feed Jacob. Emmett wins, and cuddles his tiny son close while Rose warms the bottle in the microwave. Emmett feeds him, laughing as Jacob tries to clutch at his bottle. He's been doing this sort of thing recently, starting to reach out and grab whatever you give him, and it makes Rosalie all but cry with delight. Emmett loves it, and hands him everything he can that won't represent a choking risk. I can't take it for very long, and beg a cuddle. I get one, and hold on for a while, cooing at him. He grabs at a stray lock of hair, and I disentangle him. He gets handed round, before Emmett reclaims him. We've more or less ignored the rule about not keeping children around me. They still live here. No adverse effects have been seen. It's fine, it's all fine. And Jacob is beautiful.

The tree is up, Lucas has finished with his paper chains, the centrepieces are dotted around, candles and the fire have been lit, and Jacob is being handed round after his bath. Jasper hangs on for slightly too long, gazing down at Jacob. I know he's thinking of what might have been. What could be. Rosalie finally settles him off to sleep, and then they all leave the room. I dispatch Jasper and Lucas upstairs to get the presents from us to them, and we arrange them under the tree. I hope Jasper likes his present.

RPOV

Everything's so bright and happy. Everyone's so cheerful and energetic, running about with decorations and sneaking around, wrapping presents. Secrecy is all over the place. Bella has used her shield to negate Edward and Alice's abilities to look for gifts, which has annoyed them no end. However, it's making them both extra excited, and Alice is uncontrollable. And for me, this year is extra special. Jasper was following me for months during the pregnancy and after it without even realising it. I asked Bella why he was doing it, and she smiled.

"You're happy," she said, simply, propping her feet on the sofa, patting her bump. "You're literally exuding it. You're like a drug to him. He can't help it. He's drinking you in like a human drinks water." I'd grinned, and made sure that Jasper had full access at all times. He was just drawn to me. And as I was frequently with Bella, they spent large amounts of time together. Suddenly, they're like the first few weeks all over again. They look at each other like they've just met.

And then Jacob was born. Bella came in at three in the morning on October 11th, and announced, with great relish, that she'd just had her first contraction. Emmett had promptly lost his head completely, shouting about hot water. Bella called Carlisle, told him what was happening. He came home immediately. Her waters broke at six, and then the contractions got worse. She hissed through her teeth.

"Does it hurt?" I'd asked immediately.

"It's uncomfortable." The swearing when she actually started pushing was incredibly. There was some throwing of objects and cursing and general bitching. She did the whole thing standing in the living room, holding onto the fireplace. Finally, finally, after hours of pacing and pushing and cursing, Carlisle, who was crouching between her legs, shouted that he could see the head. Bella shouted something that sounded very much like "No shit, Sherlock", and pushed again. Suddenly a head was visible between her legs. Emmett was staring like he was watching a dissection. Suddenly, at two thirty five pm, Bella pushed one last time, and an indignant scream filled the room. Carlisle closed in on Bella, who looked horribly ill suddenly, and cut the cord. Esme took the baby, wrapped him in a towel, and them put him in my arms. Emmett was staring from Bella to his child, like he couldn't quite believe it.

"It's a little boy, a beautiful boy." Esme said, but I barely registered. Emmett finally seemed to snap out of his trance, and came over to me. I handed over the baby in my arms, and he took him like he was scared.

"He's so tiny. He's so light."

"Yes, and he's beautiful." Bella was already looking better, wrapped in a robe. Jasper is kneeling beside her, getting her to drink something. When I inhale, I realise it's actually a cup of blood. It's human blood. "I have to," she says, seeing the direction of my gaze. "It's - I can't explain it. But it makes you horribly weak. Animal blood won't cut it - I tried after Edward. What will you call him?"

"We thought Jacob. Jacob Isaac."

"Surname?"

"McCarty, obviously," says Emmett, dragging his gaze from Jacob's face. "He's my son."

The first few weeks, it was hypnotic. Neither of us could stop watching him. I haven't used the crib once. He sleeps in my arms, or in Emmett's. He went through a phase when he refused to sleep in my arms. He wanted Emmett. Then a phase where he didn't want Emmett, and only wanted me. This was worrying, until we were reassured by Carlisle that it was normal.

It's been such a wonderful two months. He's laughing now, smiling and cooing. He's beautiful. Every day, Bella produces a new outfit. She makes everything herself, knitting, sewing, crochet, embroidery. I never knew she could sew. She went into overdrive. She frequently appears waving a tape measure, to measure him for new trousers and tops. She knitted him a beautifully soft hat for the winter, in pale blue with a white trim, and taught Alice to make bobbles. Everything from Alice now has a bobble on it. These bobbles amuse Emmett no end. He persuaded her to make him a woolly hat with a bobble on it. This meant, naturally, that he had to insist that everyone had bobble hats. So, Carlisle is now dispatched to work with a grey hat with a green bobble on it. It's been the cause of great amusement in town.

Bella and Jasper tell us that we can go downstairs to put our gifts under the tree. I got Bella and Jasper a joint present - they're going, although they don't know it yet, to Greenland for a fortnight. Bella loves Greenland - apparently she's got a thing for snow. So that's their present sorted. I sit back on my heels when I'm done, looking up at the tree with the lights twinkling. It's so lovely. And When Emmett sists down beside me, holding onto Jacob, I know it's complete. My family.

Happy Christmas.


End file.
